Monday, September 29, 2008

In Space, No One Can Hear You Getting It On



 

Man, talk about an incestuous group of friends.  The crew of the Battlestar Galactica really gets around.  If the Cylons don't manage to kill off the entire human race, apparently herpes will. 

 

For the final wrap party for the series, the creators of Battlestar Galactica put together a special treat for the cast and crew.  A yearbook to share the Battlestar memories.  Apparently, inside this yearbook was a fun item called the "Frak Tree" which layed out in a family tree-like design who frakked who throughout the course of the series.  The one in the yearbook though has some spoilers in it, so it hasn't been made available to fans yet.  But that hasn't stopped industrious fans from making their own Frak Tree though based on the episodes that have aired thus far.

 

The above chart is the result.  An accurate diagram of every carnal act that took place on the show (and man there was a lot of frakking going on).  Reading the chart made me realize some creepy things about that show, that while I had already known them, I had never really taken the time to think about before.

 

For example, both of Adama's sons have slept with Kara Thrace.  I had forgotten that at the start of the series there was the whole drama with Lee's dead brother, and that Starbuck was his girlfriend.  So the entire rocky relationship they've been having throughout the series was all about Lee trying to bang his brother's girl.  That's kinda messed up.

 

Also, Gaius Baltar if a motherfucking PIMP.  He's in the middle of the tree, as he's almost slept with every major female character at some point or another.  For being the guy who brought about the end of mankind, he gets a lot of play.  He has five separate connections on the list, more than anyone else.  The only person to come close to him is Starbuck, with four connections on the list.  And of course, those two slept with each other.

 

Now I'm really interested in knowing that the final tree will have even more connections on it.  So who's going to sleep with who?  Who hasn't already frakked on that show?  I guess Commander Adama could sleep with Starbuck, thus completing the Adama triangle for her.  Or Baltar could sleep with Sharon since she's the only Cylon woman he hasn't frakked yet.

 

Or something truly disturbing could happen and a bald and cancer riddled president Roslin could sleep with anybody.  I don't know what it is, but the thought of that woman having sex, even when healthy, is something I find disturbing.  The concept of her frakking someone in her current condition on the show is downright nauseating.  But then again, she could always add Doc Coddle to the tree.

 

Oh god, I think I'm gonna go throw up now.

 

(Original link via IO9)

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