Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Alan Moore Is A Crazy Bastard



 

I know that Alan Moore is seen by many people as one of (if not the) best comic book writers of all time.  His works include books like V For Vendetta, From Hell, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and, of course, The Watchmen.  His writing has been described as groundbreaking and amazing and all sorts of other high praised adjectives.  However, there's one thing I always get annoyed by when I hear other comic fans discuss the "greatness" of Alan Moore.  No one ever mentions that he's absolutely crazy-go-nuts wacked out insane.

 

Take for example, his recent comments about the Watchmen movie that may or may not be coming out next year.  Moore has long detested hollywood.  He's made many negative remarks on the state of the film industry over the last two decades or so, and he was no different in a recent interview with the LA times.  When asked about the upcoming Watchmen movie, Moore had this to say:

 
"I find film in its modern form to be quite bullying," Moore told me during an hour-long phone call from his home in England. "It spoon-feeds us, which has the effect of watering down our collective cultural imagination. It is as if we are freshly hatched birds looking up with our mouths open waiting for Hollywood to feed us more regurgitated worms. The 'Watchmen' film sounds like more regurgitated worms. I for one am sick of worms. Can't we get something else? Perhaps some takeout? Even Chinese worms would be a nice change."

 

Regurgitated worms?  The supposedly greatest comic writer of all time couldn't come up with a better analogy than regurgitated worms? 

 

Now, I don't wish to be overly mean here.  I can definitely understand a person's hatred for Hollywood.  Sure, they make a lot of stupid crap movies and about 90% of the stuff that gets made is shit.  But it's really hard to listen to someone rant about hollywood and take them serious when in the same interview I read the following about them:

 
Moore sometimes wears metallic talons, describes himself as an anarchist and, in the past, has told interviewers that he worships an ancient Roman snake god.

 

I've seen him wearing the talons in pictures, and I've got no real problems with anarchists.  But worshiping an Ancient Roman Snake God?  Um...ok...sure.  Whatever.  And let's not forget the fact that more looks like the kinda guy who mails out letter bombs to people.  Seriously, if you were alone in a dark alley and Alan Moore walked into it, wouldn't you be a little scared too?

 

Another thing that really bugs me about Moore is his hypocrisy.  In the interview he both decries Hollywood while schilling his own DVD at the same time.

 
There is one film that Moore is supporting right now. It's the new DVD release entitled "The Mindscape of Alan Moore" and it's an artfully executed documentary that is built entirely around Moore sitting in his somewhat spooky living room and ruminating about art, storytelling, magic and culture.

 

Sure, you'll back Hollywood when it's a movie specifically about you.  But everything else you'll call regurgitated worms.  I'm sorry, but this level of hypocrisy and sense of self-importance Moore seems to have bugs the crap out of me.  Sure, you wrote some of the best comics ever.  But you also wrote your best work 20 years ago.  So can you please shut up now and let us enjoy ourselves as we see talented people adapt your works into other mediums?  And besides, what are you even doing nowadays?

 
Moore said he is now working on new installments in his marvelous comics series "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen," which is far more nuanced and daring than the forgettable film of the same title. The new stories take the narrative to the moon where there is a war underway between the giant insects (inspired by the H.G. Wells 1901 book "The First Men In The Moon") and nude lunar amazons.

 

A comic about a war on the moon between giant insects and nude lunar amazons?  Yeah, that sounds like a real masterpiece.  You have fun with that.

 

I will admit though that Moore did say one thing I totally agree with in this interview though.  He described how he sees the current state of the comic book industry, and god damned if the crazy guy isn't dead on.

 
"There are three or four companies now that exist for the sole purpose of creating not comics, but storyboards for films. It may be true that the only reason the comic book industry now exists is for this purpose, to create characters for movies, board games and other types of merchandise. Comics are just a sort of pumpkin patch growing franchises that might be profitable for the ailing movie industry."

 

I completely agree with this statement.  It really does seem to me that the larger comic companies like Marvel and DC now only exist to create properties for movie companies.  And smaller companies seem to be only making new comics that look and feel like they'll be easily adapted to a movie.  It's a sad state if you ask me. 

 

So I'll grant that Moore may be right about that one thing.  But I really do wish he'd shut up about the Watchmen movie.  Yes, you hate hollywood, we get it.  But you know what, we (your audience) don't care.  We love Hollywood.  You can call us brain dead masses all you want, but if it wasn't for us you wouldn't be able to afford your creepy living room in your house in England.  And I'm fairly certain you're going to make a vast amount of cash from this Watchmen movie.  So just sit there with your bags of cash and shut the fuck up and let us enjoy our movie.

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