Pat's Movie Reviews: Transformers 2 - Revenge of the Fallen

 

I will admit that when the first Transformers film came out, I was pleasantly suprised.  While it was by no means a great film, it was at least enjoyable to watch and was entertaining.  Sure there was a lot of stupidity to it and you couldn't really tell most of the robots apart, but it had cool special effects and pretty robot fight scenes and enough explosions to cement it's place as a classic summer big budget action film.  I actually ended up liking it for the most part, especially when one considered how bad it could have turned out.

 

The first Transformers also made a bajillion dollars (actual amount, I checked) at the box office, so the fact that a sequel was made was an absolute no-brainer.  And as with all big summer blockbusters, the job of the sequel is to somehow take all of the action and adventure from the first film and find a way to make it even bigger.  Much like how most superhero films have one villain in the first film and two in the second, so too did Transformers have to deliver more of what people loved from the first film.  That means more robots, more fight scenes, bigger explosions, and a better story. 

 

After having seen the film, I would have to say that Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen delivers on three of those four criteria.  I guess that's not too bad, right?  Let's break it down:

 

1.) More Robots:  There are indeed a lot more Robots in Transformers 2 than there were in the first film.  In fact, there are a crapload more.  While some of these new robots are fan favorites like Soundwave, Ravage, Jetfire and Arcee, the vast majority of them are either nameless robots shown in the background whose sole purpose is to die.  However, there are also a handful of new robots that are brand new Transformers who are making their first appearance here.  These robots though are all thoroughly annoying and stupid characters that will make you want to punch Michael Bay in the face for having included them at all. 

 

The worst, by far, of these new robots are the Ghetto Twins.  I call them the Ghetto twins because they are two of the worst inner city African American stereotypes I have seen on the big screen in a long time.  They both speak in ebonics and one even has a gold tooth.  A ROBOT WITH A GOLD TOOTH!!!  My friend Brian referred to them after the film as "robot versions of the Wayans brothers" and I can't really say that he's wrong in that comparison.  Personally, I see them as the robot equivalents of two people doing a blackface routine.  It's really bad.

 

Also, Transformers 2 still suffers from the same problem that plagued the first film so badly.  You can't tell any of the damned robots apart.  Aside from the main players like Optimus and Bumblebee and Starscream, all of the other robots look the same.  It gets really annoying when the fight scenes start and you can't tell who's fighting who and who's dying.  I swear I thought I saw Megatron get killed about three times before I realized that it was just some other random shmuck robot that happened to look exactly like Megatron.

 

2.) More Fight Scenes:  There's more hot robot-on-robot action in this film than you can shake a piece of rusty metal at.  This was by far the strong point of the film.  ILM really outdid themselves here with the special effects.  The Transformers themselves looked absolutely gorgeous (when you could tell them apart) and when the big fight scenes got going, it was pretty much bonafide badass!  About halfway through the film there is that big fight in the woods that you see in all the trailers where Optimus Prime is fighting a group of Decepticons in a forest, and that fight scene is absolutely amazing.  The final battle is also pretty damned epic and is a joy to watch.  Now if only the parts of the film that had talking in it were as good.

 

3.) Bigger Explosions:  Absolutely.  We get to see more explosions than I can count in this film.  We seen an Aircraft Carrier get sunk, we get to see what feels like half of Cairo's suburbs get decimated, we get to see a pyramid ripped apart.  The explosions were definitely bigger this time around.

 

4.) A Better Story:  Oh, if only this was true.  As awesome as all of the fight scenes and pretty explosions are in this film, they are made null and void due to the god awful giant steaming pile of poo that is the plot of Transformers 2.  Michael Bay is sort of infamous for being a hack action film director who wouldn't know what a well written film was if you beat him with the script of one.  Transformers 2 is like the epitome of a Michael Bay film.  Almost every single scene in the film which involved a human character or even just had characters talking was torture to sit through. Most of the scenes that handled the plot development of the film had at least one mind-bending moment of stupidity in it.  The humor in the film is so low brow it can't even be called potty humor, the characters and the acting are more robotic than the giant robots they are surrounded by, and there's so many holes in the story that to say there's plot holes is an inaccurate statement.  It would be more accurate to say that there's one giant hole with occasional bits of plot strewn about it in a random fashion.

 

It amazes me that this film was written by the same two guys who wrote the Star Trek film.  While I admit that the plot of that film was by far it's biggest weak point too, at least Star Trek had a story that sort of made sense and was able to be followed without having to completely turn my brain off for fear that it would be turned to jell-o if I left it on while watching it.  This isn't really the case with Transformers 2.  At over 2 hours in length, the story here drags on interminably.  It takes forever to get things going, there's some awesome fights at about the one hour mark, and then the film drags and drags and drags its way to the climax fight (which still isn't as cool as the fight from an hour earlier).

 

On the plus side though, there were some cool plot points that were included from the original TV series which should make fanboys rather happy.  Energon as the Transformers power source is mentioned for the first time, and factors heavily into the story (although sadly not in cube form).  Also, the Matrix of Leadership plays a key role in the latter half of the film.  It was really nice to see these little touches and nods to the original source material.  It was almost enough to make me willing to put up with watching two dogs humping near the beginning of the film. 

 

Almost, but not quite.

 

In the end, I will say that I walked out of Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen having enjoyed the film far more than I had expected to.  I think this is mainly due though to the fact that I had lowered my expectations of the film so much that it would have been a rather large accomplishment to disappoint me.  I walked in expecting this thing to be the worst piece of crap that I have seen all year.  As it turns out, that honor still goes to X-Men Origins: Wolverine. 

 

Transformers 2 is a perfect summer action film.  It has wicked cool special effects, gigantic explosions, over-the-top action and vast sweeping shots from far off places all over the world.  It also has a a story and dialogue that feels like it was written by retarded monkeys, wooden acting and characters that I would pay good money to see killed just so they can't return in the sequel.  The film is full of what I call "Bayisms" in which the audience is subjected to some of the stupidest, least common denominator levels of humor (an example of which includes a tiny transformer humping Megan Fox's leg).

 

If you are looking for a pretty film to veg out to for two hours, this is the film for you.  If you want something that's intelligent or at least has something resembling a decent narrative, avoid this film like the plague.

 
Final Score: D

 

P.S.  Without trying to give away any major spoilers, let me just say that I'm really (and I mean REALLY) pissed off at the use of Devastator in the film.  Or should I say the lack of use of Devastator?  They could have done so much more with that character, and he was utterly wasted.  And then, when he gets taken out, he gets taken out like a pussy.  Fucking stupid!

 

P.P.S.  Oh, and as for The Fallen himself . . . total fucking wuss.  Megatron was still the main villain as far as I'm concerned.