Meet Transformers 2's The Fallen

 

As we're all aware of, this summer's big Transformers sequel has the subtitle Revenge of the Fallen.  Exactly who is The Fallen though?  I don't remember watching any Decepticons by that name back in the old cartoon series.

 

Well, apparently, he's the guy you see above.  As far as I can tell, this is the first officially released image of the big baddie from the new film.  But aside from looking like a giant robot version of the Green Goblin suit from the first Spider-man movie, we still don't know a whole hell of a lot about who The Fallen actually is.  Thankfully we have that constant pillar of wisdom Shia La Beef to explain things to us.  Take it away La Beef!

 

Basically, the Fallen is to them what cavemen, Neanderthals were to us... He's the ancestor, the first version of this exoskeleton. He's the first version of this sentient being. That's what he is. He's the origins of what they came from. [The relationship between him and Megatron is] the Emperor and Darth Vader - it's that kind of situation... He's the main villain, so two and two makes four. He's a badass. He has to be. The Fallen, his transportation method is really unlike any other robot's transportation method. The way he fights is also very different. It's spectacular, visually stunning, really incredible.

 

La Beef, obviously, seems to not understand very well exactly how an analogy works.  See, when making an analogy about how one thing is just like something else, it's usually best not to completely state the opposite of what your analogy is trying to state in your very next sentence.  For example, saying that The Fallen is to Transformers as Neanderthals are to humans not only suggests that he's their ancestor.  It also suggests that he's a more primitive version of them and is therefore probably not as evolved or as powerful. 

 

Exactly how then is this guy supposed to be the Emperor to Megatron's Darth Vader?  Would Vader have taken orders from a more primative being than himself?  Hell no he wouldn't.  But then again, who am I to question La Beef's intellectual prowess.  Afterall, he's getting paid millions of dollars to fight pretend robots and make out with Megan Fox while I'm getting paid less than one percent of his annual income to sit in a cubicle and play around in excel all day.

 

I think when it comes to comparing life decisions and where it's brought us to, I'll have to grant that La Beef has me beat here.  But at least I know how to make a proper analogy!