The Scariest Issue Of Playboy Ever

 

I really wish that this was a joke, but no, it's not.  That's really the cover for the upcoming issue of Playboy magazine with Marge Simpson on the cover of it.  Is it just me, or does just looking at it make your skin crawl?  There's just something inherently wrong with the idea of a cartoon character on the cover of Playboy, isn't there?  And even if you were going to have a cartoon character up there, why not at least put an attractive female character up there like Jessica Rabbit or any one of the millions of Japanese Anime girls who all sort of look the same.

 

But . . . Marge?  The blue haired housewife with a grating voice?  No, thank you. On the plus side though, at least she's not appearing naked in the issue.  She'll only be featured in a lingere spread, which is still a nauseating concept if you ask me. 

 

Why are they doing this, you ask?

 

Playboy said the cover and a three-page picture spread inside was a celebration of the 20th anniversary of the "The Simpsons" and part of a plan to appeal to a younger generation of readers. Scott Flanders, the recently-hired chief executive of Playboy Enterprises, told the Chicago Sun-Times in an interview that the Marge Simpson cover and centerfold was "somewhat tongue-in-cheek." "It had never been done, and we thought it would be kind of hip, cool and unusual," Flanders told the newspaper. He said the magazine hoped to attract readers in their 20s compared to the average Playboy reader's age of 35.

 

Wait, let me get this straight.  You run a magazine that features beautiful women naked, and you're having a hard time getting younger readers interested in it?  And then, the best thing you can think of to do is to put a cartoon character on the front?  Really?  Wow, I'm going to call this right here and now.  Playboy is a dead magazine if this is the best they can do to compete for attention in today's marketplace.  I'm pretty sure the market to see Marge Simpson naked is pretty damned small.  Chalk this one up as another victory for the internet over printed media.  Free internet porn has made Playboy look not only obsolete, but completely out of touch with what young horny men want.

 

I never thought I'd ever say that.  How sad.