Feast your eyes folks on this travesty against nature. This here is the international poster for the GI Joe: Rise of Cobra movie which will be coming out later this summer and will make me cry myself to sleep for at least a week afterwards.
Good lord, how many bad things can one movie poster have? I think the designers of this must have been going for the grand prize in the crappiest poster ever contest. Seriously, it looks like it was put together by someone with the photoshopping skills of a drunken five year old. What the hell is going on with Baroness' face? Is that even Sienna Miller? It sure as hell doesn't look like her. And what's with the really crappy sunglasses they copied and pasted onto her? They're about twice as big as they should be.
And of course, let's not forget Cobra Commander on the top right. Or as he's known at that point in the film (before he gets his full scuba mask) . . . the doctor. What? Could the prop department not afford a full Darth Vader mask replica, so they only got him the bottom half?
As for the Joes, just who exactly is playing Snake Eyes in this film again? Per the poster it looks like he's about the size of Sloth from the Goonies, with the exact same misshapen and oversized head. Really, is he going to be about 8 feet tall in the film? That's how he looks in the poster. And I don't know about you, but if I was Scarlett I'd slap duke for staring at my tits so blatantly.
I could go on and on with the things in this poster that make me want to cry, but what's the point? Nothing I say is going to change anything. The film has been made, it's going to suck mad donkey balls. The only left to do really is to grab myself a bottle of whiskey and start chugging. It's the only thing that helps with dulling the pain.
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