Two new trailers have come out for some of this year's big summer action films. Specifically, the movies I'm referring to here are Transformers 2 and GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Let's take a look, shall we? We'll start with the less painful one to watch . . . Transformers 2.
Ok, admittedly not horrible. It's got some pretty sweet looking action scenes. We see an aircraft carrier get blown to hell, there's some decent looking robot-on-robot action, and it's always awesome to hear Optimus Prime speak. However, there are also a number of problems I have with this trailer too.
Does anyone really care about any of the human characters in the film, or what happens to them? Be honest here, would you really be disappointed if every human in the film were somehow killed off in the first five minutes of the film and then for the next two hours all we saw were giant robots fighting? I know this can't just be me, but who cares about watching Shia La Beef go to college? I certainly don't. And other than the fact that she looks pretty, who gives a flying fuck what happens to Megan Fox's character in the film?
Also, it looks like this film is going to have the same problem that the first one did and in typical Michael Bay fashion, the robots are all overly complicated in their designs and they all look the same. Other than Optimus and Megatron I can't tell any of the rest of them apart. For example, which autobot is being sucked into Devastator's giant mouth at the end of the trailer? Yeah, I can't tell either. Would it be too much to ask for that we can tell the robots apart? Maybe that's why we're getting stuck with annoying humans in the film. At least then we have identifiable characters we can follow and we're not spending the entire film trying to figure out which robots we're watching fight.
Well, at least Megatron is back. That should be good for something at least.
Ok, now comes the painful part. I present to you the new trailer for GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Be prepared for super high levels of crappiness. You have been warned.
UPDATE: It looks like the trailer has been taken down from youtube. Never fear though, you can still go here to check out a version that is still online. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Oh god . . . . . make the pain stop! Please! Why do you torture me so with such a bastardized version of my favorite childhood property?
Where do I even begin with this one? Ok, I know . . . I fucking HATE HATE HATE those stupid ass god damned lame accelerator suits. They're pure shit, and they have single handedly ruined the entire film before it even had a chance to begin. The GI Joe team are a group of highly trained military soldiers. They're not fucking superheroes! They don't leap off of the roofs of buildings and go flying into the air, they don't go jumping through the windows of a speeding train, and they certainly don't go jumping and flipping down the street in slow motion as they avoid badly CG'd missile attacks.
Maybe, just maybe, I'd allow Snake Eyes to pull off a stunt or two like that. But Duke? Ripcord? Hell no!!!
Speaking of Snake Eyes, his fight with Stormshadow is one of only two things I'm looking forward to seeing in the film. At least that fight looks like it could be fun. And what's the other thing I'm looking forward to, you ask? Well, I'll admit that I'll probably be happy with just about any scene in which the Baroness is on screen for any length of time. I've had a crush on that character since I was five years old, and Sienna Miller looks amazingly hot in the costume. And as much as I enjoy watching Christopher Eccleston as Destro, he needs to be wearing his silver mask. Where the hell is it?
Also, note that in both trailers now, we haven't seen a single shot of Cobra Commander. That's rather odd for a film named Rise of Cobra, don't you think? Well, based on how goofy his toy looked, I can only imagine how bad he's going to look in the actual film. It's no suprise to me then that the film studio would want to keep his role in the film a secret. If he were to pop up in the trailer, his goofyness would make people far less inclined to spend money to see the film.
One last thought. While watching Cobra destroy the Eiffel Tower at the beginning of the trailer may look pretty. From a terrorist point of view, it's kind of lame when compared to the fact that in the recent GI Joe: Resolute series on Cartoon Network, Cobra wiped the city of Moscow off the face of the earth in the first five minutes of the story.
Just think about it. Which terrorist organization would you fear most? One that can fire missles and take out important historical landmarks and maybe kill a hundred or so people in the process, or a terrorist organization that can destroy entire cities with the push of a button and kill 10 million people without even blinking.
I don't know about you, but I'd go with the latter. And that's just one more reason GI Joe: Resolute is a million times cooler than the Rise of Cobra film will be.
For Transformers I am glad that they have what looks like an awesome Devestator. But the robot that looks like is being sucked into his menacing jaws. Could be a new one since they said there are going to be a few new introductions.
ReplyDeleteAnd one thing that bugged me about the first one that's in the second one, is another scene that looks like Armageddon.