Some days, as I wander the vast and glorious interwebs looking for cool things to post here at Geek-tastic I am lucky to come across news so amazingly awesome it leaves me flabbergasted. Other days, I find news so horribly god awful that it wrenches my heart out from my chest, beats it with a 2x4 filled with poison tipped rusty nails and then steps on it with soccer cleated shoes.
Today, unfortunately, is one of those latter days.
It appears that a new Buffy The Vampire Slayer movie is being made. But don't go getting all excited on me. I know that on the surface that news sounds great, but it's all a lie. The truth will make you wonder how the world can be such an unjust place. It turns out that this new Buffy film will be made WITHOUT any input whatsoever from Buffy creator (and nerd icon) Joss Whedon.
Pardon me here . . . . but What The Flaming Fuck!?!?!?!?!?!?!
No Whedon? How in god's name do you make a Buffy film without Joss Whedon? They did that once, back in 1992, remember? It was that cheesy film that starred Kristy Swanson and Luke Perry that was a major bomb at the box office and which most people hate. Ok, admittedly I have a soft spot in my heart for that film because it's fun and hey, it has Paul Reubens too. But even I can tell you that to remake Buffy now, without Whedon and without any connection to the massively successful Buffy TV show is the stupidest idea I've heard in a long time.
Let's do the math here:
Buffy without Joss Whedon = 1 failed movie that was panned by critics and audiences.
Buffy with Joss Whedon = 7 seasons of critically and fan acclaimed TV plus a spinoff show and successful comic book and novel lines and a ton of merchandising such as posters and toys and god knows what else.
Just think about this folks. With no connection whatsoever to the incredibly beloved TV show, this new film will have no Xander or Willow, no Angel, no Spike, no Giles, no Faith, no Tara, no Cordelia, no Wesley Windham Price and most importantly of all . . . . . NO ANYA!!!
On the plus side though, it won't have any Dawn or Riley. I guess it's not all bad, right?
Wait, no. Never mind that. The missing good outweighs the missing bad here by about a light year. Seriously, who in their right minds could possiblt think that this could be a successful idea? Sarah Michelle Gellar and crew aren't too old to resume their respective roles yet. An amazing film could be made here that would be a continuation of the show, much like the film Serenity was to Firefly. You could have a story about Buffy in her 30's, dealing with getting older and being the mother to an entire generation of young slayers. You could adapt the very successful comic book line that takes place after the show ended if you wanted to. Those were even written by Joss Whedon. This could be done so much better in so many ways.
Please, to those developing this . . . listen to the fans. Stop what you're doing. Make a proper Buffy film, otherwise you're just destined to failure.
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