Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Getting Old Sucks

spidey

 

Aging, it's one of the difficult realities we all have to face in this life. Our youth won't last forever. It's sad, but it's true. One day, each and every one of us will be wrinkled up, gray haired, frail little old people. No one can escape this, not even superheroes.

 

Sure Superman may be faster than a speeding Bullet, but even he can't outrun the ravages of time. Yes, Wolverine's healing factor definitely slows down the aging process, but that doesn't make him immortal. Eventually he'll grow old and die too. And when that day comes, even the greatest of heroes will be only hollow shells of their former selves.

 

However, they'll also be really funny looking . . . as this wonderful gallery of superheroes in their advanced years hilariously shows us. The pieces were created by an Italian artist named Donald Soffritti, and they really are rather charming.

 

I think my favorite by far is Spider-man (pictured above). There's just something about seeing the poor wall-crawler wearing a pair of Depends that pulls at my heart strings. That young kid named Peter Parker will one day be destined to be more pathetic than the ancient Aunt May. I bet Mary Jane still looks good though. You just know she's going to pump herself full of botox and will probably have about a dozen plastic surgeries to keep herself looking young. Can we say Cougar people?

 

bats

 

After Spidey, I'd have to go with this image of an elderly Caped Crusader and the not-so-much-a-boy-anymore wonder as they go racing around the Magic Kingdom in what must obviously be one of Batman's senile moments where he mistakes the Disney Theme Park for one of the Joker's old lairs.

 

Be sure to check out the rest of the images for some great portraits of heroes like Superman, Aquaman, Thor, Wolverine, Doc Ock and Iron Man as they'll most likely appear in the autumn years of their lives.

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