Wednesday, October 1, 2008

As If Smallville Wasn't Bad Enough

 

 

Don't get your hopes up.  The story I'm about to tell you is nowhere near as badass as the above picture is.  In fact, it's the exact opposite of that poster in its high level of lameness.

 

Variety is reporting that the CW network has announced a new live action series based on a DC Comics character, much like Smallville.  That character...Dick Grayson.

 

Generally, you'd think that a show about Robin would be a fairly cool thing.  But then you'd be forgetting what the live action Birds of Prey series was like.  Remember how crap-tastic that series was?  Ok, well take that and raise the crap bar a little higher.  This series, called The Graysons, is about Dick Grayson's life BEFORE he becomes Robin.  That's right.  No capes, no superheroes, just him and his circus performing family.  And to make matters even worse, he's not going to be called Dick in the show.  Hell, he's not even going to be called Richard.  He's going to be called D.J.  Why the hell they're calling him that, I have no fucking clue.

 
In the one-hour "Graysons," which will be set in modern times, young DJ will face challenges involving first loves, young rivals and his family as he grows up. Souders and Peterson have come up with an original take on the character.

 

They've come up with an original take on the character all right.  They took everything that made Dick Grayson cool, stripped it away, and decided to make a show with what they had left.  Who really gives a fuck about Dick Grayson's life before he met Batman?  Before he became a superhero, all Dick did was hang out with his family and perform in the circus.  How exciting can that be? 

 

What people want to see from Dick Grayson is superhero stuff.  They want to see him dealing with the death of his parents.  They want to see him training for his new role in life as Batman's sidekick.  They want to see him whup supervillain ass.  They don't want to see him parading around and doing tight rope walks and trapeeze stunts.

 

What the hell is wrong with Warner Brothers?  Why the hell do they insist on making their heroes star in Dawson's Creek rip-off shows? 

 

I predict this will last about as long as Birds of Prey did.  And it shouldn't even last that long.  What's next, a show about Bruce Wayne before his parents are killed called "Bruce Wayne: Normal Kid"?

 

Oh, and if you're curious as to what the above poster is, it's a poster for a fan-made fake movie trailer.  The fake movie is called Grayson, and it's about an older Dick Grayson investigating the murder of Batman and I can guarantee that it's about a million times cooler than the new CW show could ever hope to be.  You should check out the Grayson trailer here.  It's good times, and it'll help to ease the pain of the news of this new TV show.

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