Showing posts with label Wednesday Wes Rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wednesday Wes Rant. Show all posts

Friday, February 27, 2009

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

So with Pat gone in San Francisco for the WonderCon, I have hijacked Geek-tastic to bring all you lovely readers a giant dose of the single and only geek thing this website lacks; some 100% pure, unfiltered geek hate, grown fresh in California, refrigerated, and shipped straight to you, the consumers!

 

It seems that everywhere I turn these days everyone wants to tell me how excited they are for whatever-flavor-of-the-moment geek thing is on the horizon. I, as a general rule, hate everything until I see it for myself and decide only then if it's earned the merits it's probably already been given by the rest of the geek community. This counteracts something I like to call the "midichlorian effect" or in laymen, the inability to see the flaws in a movie in lieu of your insane excitement. I was so excited for Episode One they could have started the movie by admitting to me that Obi-Wan was actually Luke and Liea's father, and I would have thought it was the most ingenious plot twist since Vader being their father. Yeah, I was THAT delusional with excitement. Not again though, fool me once Hollywood, shame on you, make me watch Phantom Menace five times before I even start to realize that Jar Jar Binks is annoying, shame on me. In the words of The Who "won't get fooled again", and we all know, The Who are awesome.

 

Now I'm not here to talk about Watchmen, because at this juncture, it's useless. Everyone is already convinced with religious conviction that it's the next Dark Knight, and whenever I tell them the ending has been changed and that bothers me (I don't care how good it is Pat! I want to see some vagina-mouthed-squid-monsters on the big screen, I WANT TO SEE THAT!!!) they want to yell at me like I haven't been reading comics since I was in diapers.

 

It's more about how everyone expects me to like things because I label myself as a geek/nerd/suave mother effer. I should like Family Guy right, they make references to nerd culture constantly? WRONG. I hate that show. I'm not saying it's a bad show, I personally just don't enjoy it. The writing staff is lazy and about as creative as most bad stand-up comics I've seen booed off the stage. Dollhouse is another show that seems to offend fans if you hate. Sorry, just because Joss has created the best story lines in television and comic book history doesn't mean everything he produces is a gem. I would bet hard cash that Doll house is as bad as it is because Joss was prepared for it be cancelled after a single episode, and if not, then I have no explanation as to why the show is as bad as it is. I don't like the movie 300, ANY of the Pirates of the Carrabien movies, pretty much everything Johnny Depp was in (except Ed Wood  Platoon and Sweeney Todd, X-men 1 and 3, Spider Man 3 with a vengeance), I could go on all day.

 

I catch a lot of heat for hating things this way. For walking into media skeptical, instead of filled with enthusiasm like a lot of my nerd brethren. For me though, it works out so much better in the long run. If a movie/tv show/comic can win me over when I am skeptical of it, doesn't that prove it's merits much more than starting off expecting a great movie? When Pat informed me that Avatar; The Last Airbender was the greatest cartoon ever, of course I was skeptical. When I watched it and it proved to be one of the greatest cartoons I've ever seen, doesn't that say a lot more about the show than if I were to go into it trusting completely that Pat was correct in his assumptions? Sweeney Todd is another great example of this. I watched it ONLY because we were reviewing it for GeekRoundTable.com, because as previously stated, I hate Depp. Doesn't it say more that I can admit wholeheartedly that I hate Depp, I think Tim Burton is FAR FAR passed his prime, and that Sweeney Todd was a good movie? Wouldn't you trust that kind of review over someone who went to the premier of the movie wearing a hot topic cavalcade of Tim Burton merchandise?

 

My point in conclusion, geeks, DON'T BE AFRAID TO HATE. Wrath of Khan wouldn't be as amazing as it was if Star Trek fans hadn't had the guts to say "we hate Star Trek the Motion Picture". The squeaky wheel gets the oil and no one attempts to fill a half full glass. I don't care what Kevin Smith tricked you into thinking about internet ranting, that guy sold out harder than the Iggy and the Stooges songs in commercials for cruise lines.

 

Yeah, I said it, Kevin Smith is a sell out.

 

(Fun Fact: I worte this from work while the rest of GeekRoundTable.com cast is on stage at Wondercon giving a panel)

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Wednesday Wes Rant - The Black Cauldron

Ah Disney, your thieving ways throughout the years, how sneaky they are. I'm not 100% sure how it worked out for the author of THIS AMAZING BOOK RIGHT HERE when it was given the Disney once over. In 1984 Disney released a movie called the Black Cauldron (WIKI) and to be honest it was freaking AWESOME. So awesome in fact Disney denied even making it for years and years after pulling it from theaters only showing it for a VERY limited time (urban myth ranges from one month to one week).

 



 

I remember scrounging comic cons with my high school friend as she asked after ANY sort of merchandise from the Black Cauldron. The responses went from polite a polite "good luck with that hun" to the outright laugh in the face or "are you kidding me?". When I finally managed to scrounge a VHS bootleg it was SO worth it. This was a DISNEY MOVIE about a bad guy collecting dead bodies to form an army! I could've squealed when I saw it!

 

Then years later I was introduced to the concept that there was in fact a book that the movie was based on and that I had been given the Disney version of the story. WHAT THE F-CK?!

 



 

I'm not going to lie, I don't own this book, but I will tomorrow I SWEAR to you. Writing this article has forced me to remember that this book kind of kicked a ton of ASS. Seriously, as with everything else, they only used a tiny weight watchers sliver slice of what was in the book the black cauldron for the movie, and even better that, it's one book of an ENTIRE SERIES!!! Do I really have to sell this to you? It has an evil guy, making an ARMY OF THE DEAD by STEALING CORPSES and sticking them into the cauldron to RE-ANIMATE THEM, now go buy!

 

I don't understand for an instant why the books aren't sold as a set on Amazon, but the individual books are cheap used on Amazon. Oh jeez and here I am excited about re-reading these soon. Hell, it might even make me feel better since I've been reading Nietzsche lately and I could use a pick-me-up.

 

Also, Matt, WOW that's a mouthfull. I love you Bro.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Wednesday Wes Rant

I'm feeling blah today. As excitement builds around the Watchmen movie I feel like the little boy screaming that the emperor isn't wearing any clothes. I don't understand why someone is allowed to get away with altering so many things about one of the greatest comic books ever written and that my "nerd" friends are all welcoming this with open arms. Crap all over our genre and beloved books and evidently the fecal material will be eaten with the largest spoon the "nerds" can find. Change giant important elements of the story and it's all okay as long as the buildings look the same as in the comic book. The most solid arguments made in favor of this just sound like a beaten woman explaining to me that it's okay because her husband really does love her deep down.

 

Kevin Smith isn't allowed to judge what should and shouldn't be in an action movie until he makes one and it doesn't suck balls. As Funny as the giant spider story is, it pales in comparison to how cool that moment is in King Kong when Kong comes through the gates. This isn't some made up villain to increase box office gross like the giant spider, in the case of Watchmen, the nuclear bombs (or whatever it ends up being) ARE the giant spider.

 

I guess this whole sub-rant is the point of this article.

 

I'm not sure why it came up on GeekRoundTable.com but lately there has been a lot of buzz around the idea of a Wizard of Oz remake. I don't know if it's because of the remake that's been slated that now has a director or what, but here's my problem with it; The original Wizard of Oz is the definition of a classic movie. Even if it differs greatly from the book and books sequel return to Oz (which also was made into a much darker but much more book accurate movie) Judy Garland and company gave us what the definition of what the Wizard of Oz means.

 

The original book for Wizard of Oz was populist party propaganda from beginning to end (Thank you senior year US History) and in the book it's so thick it even manages to come across in the movie (if you're looking for it). The difference between the book and movie I think is BOTH the book and movies strong suit. This isn't the book you read if you want to see more of the land of Oz, this is the book you read if you want your perceptions of what the Wizard of Oz is changed. That option has always been there. Nothing about this situation has changed for the better part of a century. Until Hollywood ran out of ideas.

 

About a decade and a half ago Hollywood plain ran out of ideas. Good ones anyway. In response it began a desperate hunt for new material in which to feed the giant money machine it had created, it turned to comic books and remakes. Remakes of all kinds of things from old television shows to movies that could have fared better in the end with a little computer animation and an extra explosion or two. Even this sat alright with me because thus far they had managed to keep their greed away from the classics.

 

Today when I turn on my computer (I don't watch TV and the Internet is where I'm subjected to advertising) I see movies like King Kong and The Day The Earth Stood Still remade by people with far less imagination than their creators and acted out by pretty boys who don't have the talent the original actors had in their pinkie fingers.

 

All I'm saying is just because the source material exists doesn't mean it should be made into a film. I understand that the original Wizard of Oz is much different than the book it's based off of, but if you're so bent up about that, you COULD read the book. You read this rant, and if you're capable of that I'm sure you could eat right through the original book without so much as breaking a sweat. You might even, like me, find the exercise relaxing and enjoyable. Your laziness doesn't warrant the trashing of a novel or artistic idea.  Why should I have to sit through another half arsed attempt by a director to make a great story his own by altering and skewing it away from it's original perfection? Because you're too lazy to read a book and wait around for movies to be made of it?

 

Now you might say to yourself, "But you're all about sticking to the source material", and admittedly, I am. I'm also willing to take into account that the original wizard of Oz was made in a time when sticking to the source material of the book would have been impossible and that now that it's been made, we should just leave it at that. Also if you think this new movie is going to be any more faithful to the book than the original one was, you're on crack. There isn't anything in Hollywood that isn't taken to extremes. That's why Micheal Bay keeps getting to make movies. When they hear the book was darker, they do their best to make it look like Tim Burton directed it. The idea of a Tim Burton version of the Wizard of Oz gives me cold sweats.

 

I guess the decision is yours to make. you can choose to take it laying down for the rest of your existence. Be the stereotype the rest of the world has for Americans. You can take your McDonald's version of art with your big explosions and money is most important ideals and march happily hand in hand with a Disney-tastic New York City. Maybe it's the years I spent listening to punk rock that affected my brain this way, but maybe just maybe, the art is important. The integrity of the original ideas. That some things in this world weren't meant to have a sleek Hollywood finish lacquered onto them in an effort to squeeze another record box office weekend into the WB's bragging rights. That sometimes art means making the effort. That the relationship between artist and enthusiast means the viewer should make an effort to understand it instead of shutting off their brains and letting JJ Abrhams take over what you should feel for two hours of pretty lights.

 

I choose to make the effort, can you?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The 5th of November...

So it would seem I'm slightly beaten to the punch, but once again, if you liked the movie you should really give the comic book a read.

 



 

V For Vendetta comes from the twisted wonderful mind of Alan Moore,  who's amazing works have been butchered by Hollywood time and time again, culminating most recently in the biggest travesty of them all (in my opinion), Watchmen. Moore has no love for film making in his skewed psyche because of the crimes committed against his works, I think most notable of which was The League of Extraordinary Gentleman. How it must have hurt him to be so betrayed by fellow funny talking bearded man Sean Connery. If there's anything that's supposed to be certain in this world, it's the loyalty of fellow crazy talking bearded men.

 

Here's a reference for Moore if you want to know how crazy he is, just look at him;

 



 

How can anything this guy writes NOT be awesome?! He looks like a Gandalf, Aragorn, Sauron, Gimli, and Legolas all rolled into one!

 



 

So as much as the nerd in me was excited to see Padme naked with a shaved head in the rain (which actually until that point had been pretty much exactly how my Amidala fantasies played out in my head), the movie really doesn't hold a candle to the book. I'm probably being overly critical this time, and this is something about myself I'm more than willing to admit, because of the movies semi-faithfulness to the comic book. Really there wasn't a lot of content that got axed in the translation, and the supplemental stuff wasn't as jarringly thrown in there as it is with most comic book movies. I was pleasantly surprised to see that Evey Hammond didn't fall madly in love with V, and they didn't run away together in the end forgetting about their revolution. As far as adaptations of comic books go, Moore has little to complain about here, and neither do I.

 

This doesn't mean it should replace the book itself though. Read it!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Halloween Wednesday Wes Rant!

So in honor of the eve of all saints day (big ups to my Catholics), I thought I could do a festive Halloween Wes style geezer rant. I thought about this one long and hard and nothing could come to me when, as Mr. Smead would say in Hook, I was struck by an apostrophe! Crawl out from under your rock if you've never seen this;

 



 

It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. A freaking classic. A complete and total trip down memory lane of awesome nighttime cartoons on ABC for the holidays! The Garfield Halloween Cartoon?! Okay before I lose track of myself and start ranting about the amazing California Raisins Halloween Special.

 

As an adult you can receive an entirely new depth of the classic Peanuts characters in Charles M. Schulz's peanuts comics (Wikipedia page: HERE). Really these strips reflect the characters as being so much more mature and humorous. I think Charlie Brown and his friends get a bad rap for being a comic strip, I really do. I think its high time we gave that comic respect.

 



 

Honest to god, THAT comic right there is the FIRST EVER Peanuts strip.

 

Perfection.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Wednesday Wes Rant

I'm not 100% health wise yet, so forgive me for another hastily thrown together Wednesday post from me. I promise a high quality rant next week. If not high quality at the very least something a little less obvious. In the wave of the late 90's early 00's there was a market for hastily produced super hero films. The shining example of which, for me at least, is Daredevil (not linked to Amazon on purpose, no one needs to buy this movie).

 



 

UGH. Just looking at that picture gives me an I-need-a-shower-someone-rubbed-a-glazed-donut-on-my-body-all-over feeling. Remember the scene in the park? Ben Afflek's terrible "I'm blind" face? ANY SCENE WITH COLIN FARRELL AT ALL?! Is your name Bullseye? I couldn't tell by the way you said your name more times than John McCain says maverick and the scar on your forehead. Just in case you missed it folks, he's Bullseye.

 

This is a clear case of don't judge a super hero by his poorly cast and hastily directed movie. Instead bop on down to your local comic book store or click your way over to Amazon and pick up this gem;

 



 

Daredevil: The Man Without Fear

 

Wonderfully illustrated by John Romita Jr (one of my favorite artists and all around nice guy) and written by Frank Miller in his prime. This is long before Miller descended into the giant hands and feet phase of art, and way way before everyone in his comics reffered to Batman as "the god damned Batman". This is two masters of the genre at their best. If Marvel had stuck with the tone and style of this comic, Daredevil could've gone on to be the blind Batman of their universe. Oh well. At least we still have Man Without Fear to read.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Wednesday Wes Rant

Okay so I'm sick as a dog, but I told Pat I'd do this every week, and since he's been so generous as to keep his promise of several articles a day every weekday, it would just be plain rude of me not to hold up my end of the bargain. That being said I figured I'd go with the softball rant.

 

So everyone and their mother saw this amazing movie.

 



 

Now I'm sure everyone thinks I'm going to say "go read the "Dark Knight Returns" (which you should), but no way. If you want to see Batman earning his stripes and how he became the way he is today in comics and movies, then you should sit down to this meal of a book:

 



 

Batman: Year One

 

This book was introduced to me in the format of a Frank Miller hardbound collection along with a story where Batman fights an army of Santas and my all time favorite comic, The Dark Knight Returns. Unfortunately for me, a kid in my eighth grade class stole this book from me, and it would be YEARS before I got another copy of it. I remember as a child being blown out of seat reading this as I flew from North Carolina back to Southern California to live. It was more than a little life changing flight, let me tell you.

 

It was well known that during the writing and production of Batman Begins that Batman: Year One was the inspiriation. I even got the chance during the San Diego Comic Con to ask Frank Miller what he thought about Year One being their muse. Frank Miller was kind enough to respond with "I don't". God is Frank Miller scary.

 

You can pick up a copy on Amazon.com for less than ten dollars so theres really no excuse NOT to buy it.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Wednesday Wes Rant! (all new!)

My name is Wes, and Patrick has been nice enough to loan me space on his soapbox of geekdom to blog once a week. I have a reputation for being a crotchety old man when it comes to what I think is geeky and not geeky, although I myself feel I'm more a purist in the face of the ever growing trend of making everything and everyone "geeky". Which brings me to the subject of this and future articles I'd like to write for geek-tastic; What you are watching and enjoying and what you should be READING. For me it's all about the comic books. As awesome as these Hollywood blockbusters and TV shows that have been recently blowing us all away are, making us all "geeks", it all comes back to the books.

 

For my maiden voyage I chose Heroes.

 



 

I'm going to assume everyone here is already watching Heroes so we can take that "as read". Have you read "Rising Stars" by J. Michael Straczynski?

 



 

If you haven't I think you should, I mean, if you like Heroes. I LOVE Heroes, but the one thing that plagued me through the entire first season was how much it just FELT like I was reading Rising Stars again.

 

I was lucky enough to read Rising Stars when it was discovered amongst the collection of comic books owned by my previous landlord. Will, my aforementioned landlord and fellow geek, turned me onto many many more comics than he will ever know. If I'm correct my Hetero Life Mate Matthew pulled it from his collection and thrust it into chest demanding that I read it. He's always correct about these things, and the odds double if it's something that is thrust into your chest.

 

Boy howdy was he right.

 

All the characters from Heroes are in this book. All the awkward attempts by the characters to meld into society with their unique abilities are in this book. The book has the same feel of flash-backing and going to the light and dark side of the issues being faced. Even some of the characters are similar, eerily similar.

 

Check out the Wikipedia article about Rising Stars and see if that grabs you (the part at the bottom that says Sam Raimi has expressed interest in making Rising Stars into a series grabbed me). You can get the compendium for less than 40$ on Amazon.com and I'm sure individual trades for much less than that. The Amazon.com synopsis made me laugh though, if only for this line:

 
"Launched in 1999, Rising Stars is about a group of people who are born with special abilities after a mysterious light appears in the sky. Parallels have been drawn between this series and The 4400 TV series on USA Network and Heroes on NBC."