BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

So with Pat gone in San Francisco for the WonderCon, I have hijacked Geek-tastic to bring all you lovely readers a giant dose of the single and only geek thing this website lacks; some 100% pure, unfiltered geek hate, grown fresh in California, refrigerated, and shipped straight to you, the consumers!

 

It seems that everywhere I turn these days everyone wants to tell me how excited they are for whatever-flavor-of-the-moment geek thing is on the horizon. I, as a general rule, hate everything until I see it for myself and decide only then if it's earned the merits it's probably already been given by the rest of the geek community. This counteracts something I like to call the "midichlorian effect" or in laymen, the inability to see the flaws in a movie in lieu of your insane excitement. I was so excited for Episode One they could have started the movie by admitting to me that Obi-Wan was actually Luke and Liea's father, and I would have thought it was the most ingenious plot twist since Vader being their father. Yeah, I was THAT delusional with excitement. Not again though, fool me once Hollywood, shame on you, make me watch Phantom Menace five times before I even start to realize that Jar Jar Binks is annoying, shame on me. In the words of The Who "won't get fooled again", and we all know, The Who are awesome.

 

Now I'm not here to talk about Watchmen, because at this juncture, it's useless. Everyone is already convinced with religious conviction that it's the next Dark Knight, and whenever I tell them the ending has been changed and that bothers me (I don't care how good it is Pat! I want to see some vagina-mouthed-squid-monsters on the big screen, I WANT TO SEE THAT!!!) they want to yell at me like I haven't been reading comics since I was in diapers.

 

It's more about how everyone expects me to like things because I label myself as a geek/nerd/suave mother effer. I should like Family Guy right, they make references to nerd culture constantly? WRONG. I hate that show. I'm not saying it's a bad show, I personally just don't enjoy it. The writing staff is lazy and about as creative as most bad stand-up comics I've seen booed off the stage. Dollhouse is another show that seems to offend fans if you hate. Sorry, just because Joss has created the best story lines in television and comic book history doesn't mean everything he produces is a gem. I would bet hard cash that Doll house is as bad as it is because Joss was prepared for it be cancelled after a single episode, and if not, then I have no explanation as to why the show is as bad as it is. I don't like the movie 300, ANY of the Pirates of the Carrabien movies, pretty much everything Johnny Depp was in (except Ed Wood  Platoon and Sweeney Todd, X-men 1 and 3, Spider Man 3 with a vengeance), I could go on all day.

 

I catch a lot of heat for hating things this way. For walking into media skeptical, instead of filled with enthusiasm like a lot of my nerd brethren. For me though, it works out so much better in the long run. If a movie/tv show/comic can win me over when I am skeptical of it, doesn't that prove it's merits much more than starting off expecting a great movie? When Pat informed me that Avatar; The Last Airbender was the greatest cartoon ever, of course I was skeptical. When I watched it and it proved to be one of the greatest cartoons I've ever seen, doesn't that say a lot more about the show than if I were to go into it trusting completely that Pat was correct in his assumptions? Sweeney Todd is another great example of this. I watched it ONLY because we were reviewing it for GeekRoundTable.com, because as previously stated, I hate Depp. Doesn't it say more that I can admit wholeheartedly that I hate Depp, I think Tim Burton is FAR FAR passed his prime, and that Sweeney Todd was a good movie? Wouldn't you trust that kind of review over someone who went to the premier of the movie wearing a hot topic cavalcade of Tim Burton merchandise?

 

My point in conclusion, geeks, DON'T BE AFRAID TO HATE. Wrath of Khan wouldn't be as amazing as it was if Star Trek fans hadn't had the guts to say "we hate Star Trek the Motion Picture". The squeaky wheel gets the oil and no one attempts to fill a half full glass. I don't care what Kevin Smith tricked you into thinking about internet ranting, that guy sold out harder than the Iggy and the Stooges songs in commercials for cruise lines.

 

Yeah, I said it, Kevin Smith is a sell out.

 

(Fun Fact: I worte this from work while the rest of GeekRoundTable.com cast is on stage at Wondercon giving a panel)