George Lucas hates you, and I have proof. Say hello to possibly the lamest character in Star Wars history. His/her name is Ziro the Hutt, and she/he is Jabba's uncle. Appearing for the first time ever in the animated Clone Wars film, Ziro is described as follows by MTV Movies Blog:
He’s a purple Hutt, bedazzling in sky blue tattoos, a peacock feather nestled behind his rumbled head, a character “Empire Online” called “a cross-dressing pimp” who holds court in “Downtown Coruscant.” He’s sure to be the most talked about new character in the entire Republic when “Star Wars: The Clone Wars” is released August 15. And he’s absolutely “FAB-U-LOUS!”
Ok, let’s be straight for a second: Jabba’s uncle, Zero the Hutt, a new character introduced specifically for the upcoming animated series, is a gay stereotype that makes what Jar Jar Binks represented to the island of Jamaica look subtle by comparison. It’s not the look or design that pushes it over the top into stereotype, of course, but the voice (performed by Corey Burden), a lispy, high-pitched twang purposively reminiscent of Truman Capote.
Wait, what? He's purple?!? He speaks english?!?!? He sounds like Truman Capote?!?!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, who makes this shit up? Is the director to blame? The writer? Who is responsible for this? We must know so we can we take them out into a dark field and bludgeon them to death with toy lightsabers!
Turn's out, it's Lucas himself (big suprise). It turns out that George had a personal hand in this character:
George Lucas insisted on it, “Clone Wars” director Dave Filoni confessed.
“Zero, Jabba’s uncle, originally spoke in Hutt-ese, like Jabba and then he had a different sluggish voice just like Jabba, and then George one day was watching it and said ‘I want him to sound like Truman Capote.’ He actually said that and we were like ‘Wow!’” Filion revealed. “It’s a hybrid of it but the inspiration is definitely there on Capote. It’s one of those things that takes him from being an interesting character and I think really does put him over the top and does something. He’s a favorite among the crew here.”
If this isn't proof that George Lucas needs to never be allowed anywhere near the creation of another Star Wars product, then I don't know what is. I'm being totally serious here. Star Wars fans should be suing lucas for mental stress and try to get a restraining order put on him so that he can't step foot on Skywalker ranch anymore.
And for the director of Clone Wars to say that Ziro is a favorite among the crew? Is that sarcasm? I sure hope so. Because if he's being serious then the problems at Lucasfilm go much farther than its namesake. Either the crew of Lucasfilm are so scared for their jobs that they refuse to ever say no to Lucas on any of his ideas, or they're so deluded that they actually think that what he has to say are good ideas. Maybe he's putting drugs in the water up there, I don't know.
All I do know though, is that I have now lost all hope of this film being any good at all. I'm still going to see it, but I flat out expect to want to tear my own eyes out by about twenty minutes in.
And if this hasn't been enough to make you fear how bad the Clone Wars may be, here's a picture of what Jabba's son Rotta (aka Stinky) looks like.
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