WARNING: This review will contain some spoilers. I will try to minimize the number of them, but there will be some in here. Just so you know, before you start reading.
It's always hard to tell going into a remake of old sci-fi properties whether you're going to be seeing something cool or not. Sci-fi remakes, as a whole, are hit and miss. A lot of them tend to be very bad knockoffs of the original (Planet of the Apes) where you walk away wishing they hadn't wasted everyone's time by remaking a classic. Occasionally though you'll get a truly incredible remake (Battlestar Galactica) where the new version takes what was great about the original property and expands upon it in new and interesting ways.
So it was that with an open mind and some high hopes I sat down to watch the new remake of the Sci-Fi classic The Day The Earth Stood Still. I'm sad to say though that this is one of those films where you walk away wishing that they had left the original well enough alone.
For those of you who may have never seen the original, here's a quick plot synopsis:
A UFO lands in the middle of Washington DC. An alien named Klaatu who looks completely human steps out of the ship to say hi and is promptly shot by scared US soldiers. Klaatu's bodyguard, who's a robot about 12 feet tall named Gort, then comes out and zaps a bunch of the soldiers weapons. Klaatu is taken to a hospital where he recovers. He says he has a message for all mankind and asks to speak to the leaders of the world. He's denied this by the US government, so he breaks out and wanders around trying to learn about mankind. He makes friends with a woman and her kid and he meets a professor. The professor gets together a grouping of the world's greatest scientists and they listen to Klaatu give a warning speech about how the other races of the galaxy are watching Earth, and if man can't get their stuff together and stop acting violently then they're going to send in a big police force of Gorts to wipe us all out.
The whole purpose of the original film was a warning message against the cold war and the need for a strong United Nations. The idea was that humanity needs to work together as a people, or we're going to destroy ourselves.
The new film starts off well enough. An alien comes to earth in a giant glowing globe thing and it lands in the middle of Central Park (why does everything have to happen in New York nowadays?). An alien steps out and is promptly shot by US soldiers. Gort then comes out, looking totally badass as he's now a 30 foot tall robot (seriously, super cool). The alien is then taken to a hospital and he recovers. He has a message for the world's leaders, but the US government won't let that happen, so he breaks out.
So far so good, right? Unfortunately though this is where the film starts to go off the rails and things start getting stupid. Yes, the alien does make friends with a woman and her kid, and yes he meets a professor, but the interactions between these characters and what comes from them is badly written, melodramatic crap.
The woman Klaatu befriends is Jennifer Connelly, super scientist extraordinaire. Her relationship with her son isn't as simple as it was in the first film though. It turns out he's her step son, and the dad died before the film began, and he totally doesn't care for Jennifer. The kid is so damned annoying during the whole film. From his very first scene he's got an attitude and is totally disrespectful of the woman who is trying to take care of him. In almost every scene he's in I found myself wishing someone would just slap the hell out of him and put him in his place. He needed it, trust me.
About halfway through the film, the US military kidnaps Gort (who by the way are the ones who actually name him Gort) to try to study him. And then in a turn of events that makes no sense whatsoever, the kickass giant robot breaks down into a swirling storm of metallic locusts that destroys everything it touches. The swirling Gort mass then begins to spread out and starts a destruction rampage that is headed straight for New York.
While this is happening, Klaatu meets John Cleese who has an enjoyable cameo as the professor. There's actually a great scene between them at a chalkboard that to me was probably the best scene in the whole film. However, Mr. Cleese is the only person aside from Jennifer and her kid that Klaatu ever ends up speaking to throughout the entire film. No message is ever given to an amassed group of leaders. No addresses are made to the public. No one ever finds out why Klaatu was there except the main characters before the alien ship leaves. If you stop and think about that last point, the whole purpose for the film falls apart.
Klaatu came to earth to give a message. I even liked the message he had to give this time around too. His message is that mankind is killing the earth because they're stupid, the rest of the galaxy won't allow the earth to die because there are so few planets in the galaxy that can support life. So if humans don't shape up and stop killing the earth, the rest of the galaxy's civilizations are going to wipe humans out and give our planet to someone else.
No one ever hears this message though. As far as the rest of the world knows, an alien shows up, a giant cloud of stuff kills thousands, part of a city is destroyed, and then the aliens leave. Only Jennifer Connelley, her kid and John Cleese know why Klaatu showed up in the first place. The rest of the world is still convinced aliens have come to invade. How the hell is that supposed to make the human race treat the earth better? No wisdom was given to us. No warnings or threats were made to the population at large. Nothing happens that would make the world want to change its ways.
A lot of reviews I've seen have been placing a lot of the blame for the film's problems on its main actor Keanu Reeves, but I disagree with this. I think he was an excellent choice to play the role of Klaatu and he did a wonderful job of portraying the character. The problem with the film was the script. Visually, the film was pretty. The special effects were cool. I liked the big glowy orbs as spaceships (although I know there are those who disagree with me on this) and when Gort first walked onto the screen I was actually amazed at how cool he looked.
The story made no sense at all though. I could go on and nitpick the film to the nth degree if you want, but then this review will be even more obnoxiously long than it already is. Suffice it to say that I saw no reason why Klaatu would change his mind near the end of the film and decide to spare humanity, the character of the kid was horribly annoying and Gort turning into a giant cloud of Locusts was the stupidest thing I've seen on film in a long time.
As a remake, whose goal should be to make a film at least as good as the original (if not better), the film fails. The original is still far superior, which is a shame because the remake had some really good updates and ideas in it, but the execution was lacking and the overall film suffered for it.
Final grade for the film: C
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