Avon Will Bring About The Zombie Apocalypse

 

I feel so vindicated right now. 

 

I've always expected the Avon company to be a false face for an evil corporation that was bent on destroying the world.  Sure, they may pretend to the world that they are an innocent distributor of feminine beauty products, but there's always been something shady about their business practices that I just never trusted.  How they turn regular housewives into mindless slaves that hock their products.   I've never trusted them.  And now I have proof of their evil intentions. 

 

Avon is going to bring about the end of the world.  They are now selling the T-Virus to unsuspecting women all across the world.  The zombie apocalypse can't be far behind.

 

For those of you unaware, the T-Virus comes from the Resident Evil series of video games and movies.  It was created by the evil Umbrella Corporation, originally as a skincare product that could reanimate dead tissue.  It worked a little too well though and it brought the dead back to life with an all powerful hunger for human flesh. 

 

Of course, Avon isn't calling their new product the T-Virus.  They're calling it ANEW Clinical, a skincare product that will eliminate wrinkles and make one look younger.  Here's the product description.

 

First from Avon: injectable-grade facial filler. A skin care breakthrough! Fullness perfected, not injected!* Dramatic results for dramatically less! Super concentrated serum.** 3x the level of injectable-grade hyaluronic acid for dramatic filling & plumping.*** In just 3 days, begins to reduce the look of deep folds. In 2 weeks, 82% of women saw more youthful fullness in the cheek area.**** In 4 weeks, dramatically reduces the look of deep facial folds and hollowness.

 

Pictured above on the left you will see what the bottle for ANEW Clinical looks like.  I'm sure it's no accident that it looks strikingly similar to the bottle on the right which is, of course, a vial of the T-Virus. 

 

Consider yourselves warned people.  The zombie outbreaks should be starting soon.  Be sure to swing by Wal-Mart today and stock up on supplies.  You're going to need a shotgun, lots of ammo, food, water, and a lot more.  To be fully prepared, I highly recommend reading this handy dandy guide to surviving the coming zombie scourge.

 

If you still don't believe me that Avon is about to bring about our doom, perhaps you should take a look at this commerical for Umbrella's original skincare product Regenerate and tell me you don't see Avon making something like this in the near future.

 



 

We're all doomed.  Doomed I say!!!  I wonder though, does this mean that Avon is a subsidiary of the Umbrella Corporation.  I wouldn't doubt it.

 

(Via Geekologie)