What with the Watchmen Movie being a gigantic big budget hollywood movie coming out next year, we all knew merchandise tie-ins were inevitable. Toys would soon be lining our store shelves, t-shirts with the Nite Owl on them would be worn by geeks everywhere and Rorschach will be next year's most popular halloween costume.
What I hadn't stopped to think about though, was video games. But I clearly wasn't thinking because what big budget action/comic book movie comes out anymore without a video game tie in to it? I don't know why I didn't see this coming, but a Watchmen video game, sadly, makes sense.
However, far be it for Warner Brothers to be content to just make a standard, run of the mill movie adaptation where you basically take a brawler game design, allow players to choose characters from the movie, and then play through levels from the film beating up and killing wave after wave of street thugs and (in the case of the comedian) pregnant women.
No, that would be way too simple. Instead, the WB has decided to create Watchmen: The End is Nigh. The game is actually set to be a prequel to the original comic story. That's right, you heard me, a frakking prequel. Set in 1972 (five years before the superhero ban), The End is Nigh follows Rorschach and the Nite Owl as they go wandering around the city and beating up people and god knows what else.
Look, I don't know who wrote the script for this game, and to be honest I don't care. This should NOT have been made. You wanna make a Watchmen film? I'm totally cool with that. WB is going to demand a videogame tie-in? Ok, whatever, that always happens so that's fine too. But to make the game adaptation a prequel to the story? To make a brand new Watchmen related story? No...I'm sorry. Fuck you. That's where I draw the line. There's no reason for that. Why couldn't you just make a game version of the movie? What, were you worried that the Vietnam levels where you get to play as Dr. Manhattan blowing up people just by pointing at them would be too controversial?
What's sad is that as the internets are sure to be fuming right now with the righteous anger and fury of geeks everywhere, somewhere deep in a dark room with the curtains pulled shut to block out all the light...Alan Moore sits alone and howls with laughter into the night. "See? Do you now see!?!?!" he screams maniacially. "This is what I tried to tell you. I tried to warn you, but you wouldn't listen. Now you must rot in the graves you have dug for yourselves!!!"
I have no idea if Alan Moore actually speaks like that, or for that matter if he ever howls with laughter or screams maniacially. I'm just totally guessing based on how he looks and how he's acted in the past. I'm totally convinced I'm right though.
(Via IO9 where you can see a bunch more screenshots from the game)
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