Bruce Wayne Calls It Quits

 

USA Today has an article up regarding the current Batman R.I.P storyline that sort of gives away the ending (so don't go blaming me for the spoilers here, it was already done by a newspaper that has waaaaaaaaay more readers than I do) to next week's issue which will be concluding the story arc. 

 

Just as The Dark Knight closes in on $1 billion worldwide gross, DC Comics is ready to have Bruce Wayne "die" — or at least give up the cape — in his monthly comic.

 

Batman #681, due Nov. 26, wraps up writer Grant Morrison's Batman R.I.P. story line, in which the crimefighter is so shaken by a secret from his past that a new Batman must be found.

 

Ok, where do I start here.  First off, it's completely retarded to call your big ass storyline Batman R.I.P. if Batman isn't actually dying at the end of it.  If he's just giving the cape, it should have been called Batman: Social Security, or maybe Batman: AARP.  But Batman R.I.P.?  I'm sorry, I'm not buying it.  You've built up fans for months now teasing the possible death of Bruce Wayne...only to have him retire because of some deep dark secret that shakes him up.

 

That's lame.  Not only is it lame, it's an obvious and pathetic excuse for the story to not have to have any serious long term consequences.  If Bruce Wayne actually died, then maybe this story would mean something in the long run, but as it is, he's only stepping down.  And any comic fan with an IQ above seven will be able to tell you that isn't going to last long.  It's only a matter of time before Bruce "comes out of retirement" and reclaims the mantle of the Bat.

 

This whole thing is nothing more than a redo of Knightfall from the 90's when Bruce had his back broken by Bane.  Back then, Azrael took up the suit, changed it into an awesome robo-Batsuit and went on a killing spree.  It got bad enough that Bruce and his new surgically repaired spine had to re-train to be Batman just so he could kick Azrael's ass for running Batman's name through the mud.

 

Something similar will happen here, we all know it.  This story will go for maybe a year or so, but sooner or later something so big and menacing will face Gotham city that Bruce will have no choice but to step in and take back over for whoever ends up taking his place while he's gone.  Either that, or he'll just man up and stop being a whiny little bitch and will get over whatever this dark secret is and go back to whooping hoodlum ass.

 

I hate it when comic companies do this.  Every now and then these huge stories crop up out of the woodwork and promise to "Change a character forever!".  Well guess what?  Nothing lasts forever in comics.  Characters will always find a way to revert to their default setting.  Superman died and came back with a mullet, Batman got his back broken only to have it repaired.  Spider-man had that whole clone saga nonsense.  Jason Todd was killed by the joker only to return.  Norman Osbourne killed himself only to return with a wicked scar across his chest.  Aunt May, Cyclops, Jean Grey and Professor X have all died at least a half a dozen times each.

 

None of it means anything.  I don't get why comics fans repeatedly buy into this same shit over and over again.  Who here really thinks that Bruce Wayne retiring here will be permanent?  With Dark Knight being the highest grossing film this year?  Yeah right, not gonna happen.  This is just another big advertising ploy, and in a year or two's time, none of this story is going to matter.