This Pillow Will Slowly Digest You Over A Thousand Years

 

Oh good lord, some creative geek out there has gone and created a pillow version of Return of the Jedi’s Sarlacc Pit monster. This pillow was made by flickr user scrumptiousdelight as part of a geeky crafting challenge called Stitch Wars.

 

While I admire such a truly geeky crafting endeavour, I can’t help but be slightly weirded out at the sight of the Sarlacc Pit in adorable plush form. This is the fabled Pit of Carcoon. This is the beast that ate Boba Fett and probably thousands of others. It is an ancient beast and should be feared. It shouldn’t be cute and cuddly.

 

Also, am I the only one who thinks that the pillow also looks sort of like an alien being born? Ewww! I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t rest my head on something that looks like tentacles and a beak coming out of a woman’s nether regions. Maybe that’s just me, but I couldn’t find that comfortable.

Geek Item Of The Week - 07/08/09

 

Star Trek Holodeck T-Shirt

 

In the Star Trek universe, the Holodeck is an amazing bit of technology. It first appeared in The Next Generation series aboard the Enterprise D and has since appeared on every Star Trek show since except Enterprise, which took place before the Holodeck was invented (although they did run across an alien race that had their own holodeck). You can program the holodeck to do anything. Want to be a detective? Want to play Sherlock Holmes? Want to play baseball? Want to fight at the Alamo? Want to punch Sir Lancelot in the face? Want to have some “private time” with some sexy hologram ladies? All of that and more can be achieved with the right holodeck program.

 

Be warned though, the holodeck is very often prone to failure. That Alamo program may just kill you with real bullets, or Sherlock Holmes’ greatest villain (Professor Moriarty) may just outsmart you and end your life, or that rash you get from your hologram hookers may just be real afterall.

 

Basically, what I’m trying to say here folks is be careful with what you do in the holodeck. And remember, what you do in there is your own private business. Just like the shirt says, what happens in the holodeck stays in the holodeck. It’s best that way.

The Relationships In The X-Men Books Are More Twisted Than Those Found On Most Soap Operas

 



 

(To see the full image, click on the picture above)

 

Wow, and you thought your family was screwed up?  You've got nothing on the X-men.  I always knew that Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters and all of the students that went there had some complicated relationship entanglements going on, but I had no idea it was this bad.  Seriously, the X-men and their enemies have slept around so much and have lived such complicated love lives that even Jerry Springer and Maury Povich combined couldn't help to sort out this mess.

 

Just looking at this chart gives me a headache.  I do have to say one thing though, while Storm and Dazzler may be total floozies, no one in the X-Men universe compares to the sluttyness that is Wolverine.  Just looking at his vast number of connections makes me feel dirty.  I wonder if his mutant healing factor protects him from STD's.

 

(Via BoingBoing)

Getting Old Sucks

 

Aging, it's one of the difficult realities we all have to face in this life. Our youth won't last forever. It's sad, but it's true. One day, each and every one of us will be wrinkled up, gray haired, frail little old people. No one can escape this, not even superheroes.

 

Sure Superman may be faster than a speeding Bullet, but even he can't outrun the ravages of time. Yes, Wolverine's healing factor definitely slows down the aging process, but that doesn't make him immortal. Eventually he'll grow old and die too. And when that day comes, even the greatest of heroes will be only hollow shells of their former selves.

 

However, they'll also be really funny looking . . . as this wonderful gallery of superheroes in their advanced years hilariously shows us. The pieces were created by an Italian artist named Donald Soffritti, and they really are rather charming.

 

I think my favorite by far is Spider-man (pictured above). There's just something about seeing the poor wall-crawler wearing a pair of Depends that pulls at my heart strings. That young kid named Peter Parker will one day be destined to be more pathetic than the ancient Aunt May. I bet Mary Jane still looks good though. You just know she's going to pump herself full of botox and will probably have about a dozen plastic surgeries to keep herself looking young. Can we say Cougar people?

 



 

After Spidey, I'd have to go with this image of an elderly Caped Crusader and the not-so-much-a-boy-anymore wonder as they go racing around the Magic Kingdom in what must obviously be one of Batman's senile moments where he mistakes the Disney Theme Park for one of the Joker's old lairs.

 

Be sure to check out the rest of the images for some great portraits of heroes like Superman, Aquaman, Thor, Wolverine, Doc Ock and Iron Man as they'll most likely appear in the autumn years of their lives.

New Geek DVD Day - 07/06/09

Ok, so I'm going to have to cheat a bit with this week's new geek DVD's.  To be honest, this week's releases were incredibly weak and didn't have a whole lot of geeky goodness in them.  However, last week's releases had some amazingly geeky and awesome DVD's.  And since I wasn't able to post an article for last week due to my lack of internet and apartment still filled with unpacked boxes, I'm going to go ahead and post what should have gone up last Tuesday and pretend this week just didn't happen.

 

Sound good to you?  Ok, here we go.

 

Oh, I guess I should also mention that Street Fighter - The Legend of Chun Li came out last week too, but it looks so god awful, and has gotten such bad reviews, that I didn't really feel like it was worthy of an official listing.  I just thought some of you die hard Street Fighter fans might like to know.  Consider yourselves notified.

 



 

The Good:  Parker Lewis Can't Lose - The Complete First Season

 

Why It's Good:  I haven't seen Parker Lewis in a long, long time.  This is definitely an older show that originally aired in the early 90's.  However, I do remember this show being incredibly cool, what with its synchronized swatch watches and funky 90's t-shirts. 

 

I'm sure the show will feel incredibly dated today, but I think there's probably still enough coolness in it to warrant a return viewing.  Parker Lewis is sort of like the Ferris Bueller of his high school.  He's the cool kid who has a group of wacky and strange friends and every episode he manages to finagle his way out of whatever weirdness is going on in his life.  If my memory serves me correctly, Parker Lewis Can't Lose was a bit of a groundbreaking TV show style-wise.  They used a one camera, almost movie style way of storytelling instead of the typical 3 camera sitcom setup.  It  definitely added to the uniqueness that was this great show.

 



 

The Badass:  The IT Crowd - The Complete Second Season

 

Why It's Badass:  Roy and Moss (two of the stars of the IT Crowd) are two of the most entertaining geeks on TV Today.  They work in the IT department of a large corporation, are shafted with an office in the building's basement, and have a boss named Jen who while being a cool lady, doesn't know a thing about computers.

 

Season 2 isn't as great as season 1 was. I'll admit that, but it's still a highly amusing show to see and has some classic moments that are definitely quote worthy later with your friends.  Moss alone is worth watching this show for.

 



 

The Awesome:  Eureka - Season 3.0

 

Why It's Awesome:  I think I've mentioned here before how Eureka is one of my favorite shows on TV, right?  It's the story of a small town sheriff who happens to be the only normal guy in a town full of super scientists.  Every week, some brainiac's invention goes haywire and he has to figure out how to save the day.  The show is incredibly funny, has great characters and has very witty dialogue. 

 

Admittedly, this is the season 3.0 box set, which means that the Sci-Fi channel is once again ripping off their audience by making us pay twice for a season of TV by releasing only the first half of the season in this box set.  Yes, I think this practice is total bullshit too.  Charging us $100 for two box sets instead of just $50 or $60 for one box set is something that really pisses me off, so instead of buying this I suggest you rent the set or watch it on netflix.  Don't allow Sci-fi to rape your pockets, but at the same time don't miss out on an incredibly charming and entertaining show.  I think it's by far the best thing Sci-Fi has going for it right now.  If you love fun science fiction stories, this is not a show to miss.

NO! NO! NO!

I know that our fearless leader Patrick gave up on Heroes many, many moons ago. I sadly kept watching. Mainly because the people I was living with at the time still watched. Plus, when I heard that Bryan Fuller was coming back there was hope. Of course he left again shortly after coming back, so that hope flew out the window.

Well, this might be the straw that breaks Christina's back! According to this article on ign.com Miss-I-Want-To-Save-The-World Claire may be having a lesbian experience as she heads off to college.

It appears from the article that Claire might not even be pursuing a full on homosexual relationship. She will just be experiencing one of those lesbian liasons that every girl that goes to college encounters. This is one of the worst ideas I think that Heroes has ever thrown out there. Not that this kind of thing doesn't happen or that there is anything wrong with it, but to me it just seems a bit of out of place with the whole Heroes theme.

Looks like their target audience next season will be those leering, pimply-faced, comic book geeks they so prominently stereotyped last season, because nothing draws them in more than a little girl-on-girl action.

Ahhh Heroes....you never fail to disappoint anymore.

Geek-tastic Is Back . . . Sort Of

 

Hey there everyone.  Ok, so it's been over a week since my last post, and the week before that didn't really have a lot of posting going on either.  I'm really sorry about that.  As I mentioned earlier, I have spent the last two weeks or so packing up my apartment (otherwise known as the Patcave) and moving all my stuff from one place to another.  Thankfully, the move went rather well and was even rather painless except for the part where a 70 lb TV fell on my hand. 

 

I'm ok though and am glad to report that I am oficially done unpacking and can now get back to writing articles here for the site.  With that said though, I do need to say a few things.  As I had also mentioned earlier, I'm a cubicle jockey in the real world and have a day job that I go to every day from 8am to 5pm.  This job has recently cut off my access to Geek-tastic's website while I'm at work, so the regularity with which I was posting items during the day is unfortunately going to be a thing of the past.

 

I'm still going to try to post things regularly though, but there's going to be less time in my day to do so from now on.  As as result I've been thinking a lot about the format here at Geek-tastic and will be experimenting with some changes going forward.  Since I will be posting fewer articles, I'm going to try to make up for this by making those posts more quality postings.  Yes, I'll still be posting geek news when I can, but I'm going to be a bit more select about what I post about and I'm going to try to talk a little more about each item or event I'm covering.  Lately, I had gotten into the habit of posting items with little or no commentary to them at all.  I'd like to change this, and I hope you guys appreciate the change. 

 

Also, the San Diego Comic Con is coming up at the end of this month, and much like last year and then Wonder Con back in February, I will be covering this event and will be sending photos to the Geek-tastic Flickr account.  So that's something to look forward to.  And as for the regular weekly articles like New Geek DVD Day and Geek Item of the Week and Friday Happy Hour, those are still going to get posted on their regular days too.  So while some things will be changing, some will stay the same.

 

Again, I am really sorry for the lack of new content here at the site lately.  Sometimes life has an annoying tendency to get in the way of the stuff you want to do, doesn't it?  Things should be getting back to normal pretty soon though.