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Thursday, December 4, 2008

The Top 50 WTF Moments In Comics



 

Mattman, my friend and Geek-tastic's Batman reviewer extraordinaire has pointed out to me a rather amazing, lengthy, thorough, and highly entertaining list called The Top 50 WTF Moments in Comics. As the name implies, the list compiles 50 of the greatest moments in comic book history that made fans and the public in general turn to each other and say "WTF?".

 

The list has compiled some truly amazing moments from comics history. Some are humorous (Captain America punching out Hitler), some are sad (Spider-man's black cover and issue dedicated to the September 11th attachs), and some are just downright strange (Green Arrow's sidekick Speedy is discovered to be a heroine addict). All of them though make for an amusing read.  Pictured above is the cover from list item #25, the issue of the X-Men in which Wolverine gets the ever-loving crap beaten out of him by Magneto who then goes on to do something totally messed up to him:

 
Wolverine is Marvel's ultimate bad ass, putting the fear into many an evil mutant with one simple sound effect: Snikt! But even he has been on his knees screaming in agony. That gift of humility and pain came courtesy of Magneto, during the Fatal Attractions storyline. For years, Wolverine had always threatened to disembowel Mags, but he was always rebuffed. X-Men, they said, don't kill. This time, however, Wolverine got seriously close, taking a swipe at the evil mutant's midsection.

 

Pissed, Magneto pulled the adamantium (the super indestructible metal) from his skeleton through every pore in his body. Every. Pore. In his body. The act leaves Wolverine fighting for his life as his healing factor worked overtime to compensate for the shock. As shocking as that was, it was made even more so when, an issue later, Wolverine instinctively popped his claws only to find them made of bone. Fragile, breakable bone.

 

As with all lists of this type, there's bound to be some arguing over what positions certain events are given on the list. Why is Batman getting his back broken lower on the list than Superman dying? Or people will wonder why certain events aren't on the list at all. Where the hell is the Spider-man Clone Saga? I shall leave those arguments and discussions for you to have in the comments section. Me personally, I'm just annoyed that this story wasn't #1 on the list:

 

#28: Spider-man's ex gives his arch enemy a "Happy Ending".


 



 

Amazing Spider-Man #509-514

 
Imagine your dad getting it on with your girl. Pretty bad, right? Not as bad as your sworn archenemy getting it on with your dead high school sweetheart, a girl with nary a blemish on her except for the fact that she slept with the Green Goblin. Oh, and she had his kid. Twins, in fact. Welcome to The Jerry Springer Show, Marvel style. Fans cried "Foul!" Marvel and writer, J. Michael Straczynski, had perverted the memory of one of the most loved characters in Marvel Comics history. It was worse than having Kitty Pryde raped by Wolverine (the picture of which is now stuck in YOUR head). For all those people who call Spider-Man "the everyman hero," Peter Parker has eight middle fingers just for you.

 

I've said this before on this site many times, and I'll say it again.  This is the story that single handedly made me stop reading comics on a regular basis.  I was so disgusted with what J. Michael Straczynski did to the character of Gwen Stacy and the storyline involving her death and the death of Norman Osbourne that I couldn't continue reading comics regularly without getting sick to my stomach anymore.  Maybe that's just my personal problem, maybe I take my desire for good storytelling too seriously, but I just couldn't take it anymore.  So fuck you J. Michael Straczynski!  You destroyed one of my favorite things in this world.  I hope you're happy, you bastard!

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