Reason #5642 why Felicia Day is a Geek Goddess!

This video has been floating around the internet for a few days now, but I figured it deserved a post here on geek-tastic. com. Felicia Day has done a video for NASA of all people about galaxies colliding. It is a fun watch. The best part though is genius that Day is she admitted to not knowing much about Astronomy. So what did our girl Felicia do before she filmed this piece. She downloaded 20 books on Astronomy to her Kindle just to educate herself so she could thoroughly understand what she was saying and now she claims she can't stop. This woman is my geek girl idol!!!!

Velma The Monster Slayer

 

I absolutely adore this image.  It's Velma and Scooby Doo from the Scooby gang as they would appear if the world were overrun by zombies and vampires.  The image was created by flickr user Dr. Monster, and damn if this isn't something I'd kill for to have on a t-shirt.

 

But where is the rest of the Scooby gang you ask?  Where's Shaggy, Fred and Daphne?  Well, look closely at the van behind our intrepid monster hunters and you'll see a sad message painted onto the front which reads "RIP S+F+D".  It looks like the rest of the Scoobies didn't make it.  The zombies or vampires must have gotten them.  Now, Velma and Scooby stand alone to face the undead hordes. They look ready though.  Velma has her shotgun and her wooden stake.  She's also got her crucifix.  The Misery Machine is loaded up with extra ammo, gasoline and what has to be the biggest wodden stake I've ever seen before. 

 

This is definitely a woman you don't want to mess with. Monsters of the world, beware.

Random Sadness

 

 

I wanted to include this as part of our irregular Random Awesomeness feature, but as awesome as it it, this image just makes me so sad.  This is the cover for the November 2nd issue of the New Yorker.  It was created by artist Chris Ware, and a sadder statement of our modern culture I don't think I've ever seen. 

 

What makes me so depressed by looking at this is knowing entirely how accurate it is.  You and I both know that this Saturday night, this scene will be playing out in suburbs all over America as parents twitter and update their facebook status.  I can see the tweets now.  "Trick 'r Treating with my kids.  Hope they get good candy so I can steal it later."

 

What has our world come to?  Is it just me?  Am I just a curmudgeonly old man who can't get with our modern times?

 

(Via BoingBoing)

Join The Mighty Klingon Empire

 

 

This is a viral video that's been making the rounds all over the interwebs this week. Most people are speculating that it's a viral video intended to promote Star Trek 2, but those people are idiots. It's far more likely that this is something that was made to promote the Star Trek MMO that will be coming out next year, which is a lot sooner than we'll be seeing Star Trek 2 (which doesn't even have a script yet).

 

Is it possible that it's a viral video for a movie that hasn't even gone into production officially yet? Yeah, but it's also possible that I made this video on my own in my basement over the course of 4 weeks of animating with no sleep whatsoever. Just because something is possible doesn't always mean that it's likely to be true. Consider that my personal bit of wisdom to you for today.

 

And for those of you who don't speak Klingon Fluently, the kind folks over at Trekmovie have gone to the trouble of translating the narration for you. Here's their rough estimate of what the video says.

 

We are members of the Klingon Empire!
We have argued with many dozen planets
and we expand to many more every day
Do you want to influence the planet?
But how?

 

Let's go, we are coming, join us!
Contribute to the enjoyment of Klingon planets
The Empire is good for everyone
The Civilization brings wealth, competitions and good food.
Our Klingon "yeni cheri" are brave, many and fair.

 

Take spoils from the invasions, and many solders join the Empire
The Empire powerfully protects the important planet from the influence and possible decaying that the dictator (brings ... does something with ....)
Put down your small weapons

 

Open your hearts
and join the Klingon Empire.
Get ready but conquer
Get justice now!

 

The very end of the video is actually a web address written in klingon. That web address is for a site called tlhingan.org. If you go there, you'll find some more Klingon propaganda stuff as well as some really cool desktop wallpapers taken from images in the video. Wallpapers like this.

 

 

 

I think we can all agree that's pretty damned cool. The site is definitely worth checking out, especially if you're a fan of Klingons and their glorious imperial propaganda.

How The American Revolution Should Have Been Fought

 

 

It's the story of a fledgling rebellion facing off against the tyranny of an evil empire.  No, I'm not talking about Star Wars, I'm talking about the American Revolution.  I have to admit though, if the American Revolution had included fierce lightsaber battles, maybe the kids of today would know their history better.

 

As a picky Star Wars nerd though, I can't help but point out that it would be more appropriate if the british soldiers weilded the red lightsabers and Washington and his men had the green ones.  Afterall, red is the color of evil. 

 

Red coats = red sabers.

 

(Via Geekstir)

The Best Halloween Food Item Ever - The Meat Hand

 

Behold the single creepiest food item I think I've ever seen.  The Meat Hand.  Yes, it's completely edible.  It's made out of meatloaf.  The fingernails are onion slices, so is the wrist bone.  The skin is browned cheese and there's some ketchup thrown in there as well to give the meat that bloody redish tone.

 

If you're throwing a Halloween party this weekend and are looking for the ultimate creepy food to serve your guests, the Meat Hand has to be at the top of your list. 

 

To see how to make your own, you can check out the instructions here.

 

I totally want to make one of these.  But this begs the question, do I eat from the palm, or the fingers?

Cup of Tears

 

What the hell is this? A Samurai film in space? Fuck yeah! I just randomly found this, but it's apparently a film that comes out next year. I have no idea who stars in it, or who made it, but god damn if every single second of this trailer didn't just blow my mind.

 

I'm not typically one who likes films that are shot almost entirely on green screen. Sure, Sin City was awesome, but more often than not the super stylized films get lost along the way and end up more like The Spirit than anything else. This though, wow. Every shot shown in the trailer made me want to cry from the sheer beauty of them. Cup of tears indeed.

 

I must see this film.

Noyes Notes: Avengers Assemble - October

These reviews came way later than I expected them to but I've been crazy busy lately! I've had tons of DVD reviews to do and I even got to work on a short film last weekend! Hopefully it won't be this long before November's reviews get done as I don't want to get too far behind.

 

 

 

 

The New Avengers 56

 

Writer: Brian Michael Bendis

 

Pencils: Stuart Immonen

 

 

 

Issue 55 left The New Avengers in a bad place with The Hood's Syndicate, now under the leader of Dr. Jonas Harrow. Harrow created a device to take away our Heroes' powers. So when The New Avengers arrived to the fight they all instantly dropped.All but Mockingbird that is, as her powers are skill based. So it's up to her to kick the Wrecking Crew's ass using her teammates' weapons. She holds her own for a while but eventually gets knocked down. Spidey tries to help but gets beat down as well.

 

Meanwhile Luke Cage seems to be suffering a heart attack!

 

Spidey is joined by Ronin and together they attempt to fight the Wrecking Crew, but don't fare that well. Finally The Dark Avengers show up, but The Sentry is dropped by Harrow's device.  Harrow hacks into Osborne's Iron Patriot suit and gives his demands. He wants the same deal with Norman that The Hood had. Norman doesn't believe him so he then drops the rest of The Dark Avengers. And then to show how much power he really wields, Harrow turns off Iron Patriot and Osborne drops to the street at the Syndicates feet.

 

Meanwhile, Loki takes The Hood to find The Stones Of Norn to help return his powers to him without him having to rely on a demon like Dormammu. 

 

This episode starts out strong cause you get to see Mockingbird really kick some ass for the first time since her return at the end of Secret Invasion. Immonen's action really makes the sequence flow. Seeing The Sentry collapse and completely become Bob is really creepy, he is tiny and confused and his costume is just falling all over him. The power struggle between Harrow and Osborne is really intense and it's fantastic to see Osborne brought to his knees.

 

One thing I continue to like about Bendis' work is that he always brings back old forgotten characters and makes them badass. Frankly, I didn't even know who Harrow was and had to look him up online to find out what he was all about. I find myself doing that a lot in Bendis books and I like it.

 

This a solid comic with a great cliffhanger ending.

 

 

 

The Mighty Avengers 28 – The Unspoken Part 2.

 

Writers: Dan Slott and Christos N. Gage

 

Pencils: Khoi Pham

 

When we last left off an Inhuman called The Unspoken had just laid waste to China's Superheroes. Quicksilver and USAgent realized they would need more help and decided to call the Mighty Avengers.

 

In this issue the only one to receive the call is Scarlet Witch (who is really Loki, remember) who promptly turns off the monitor screen to deny them help. Too bad Stature sees this happen. So Scarlet Witch casts a spell on Stature preventing her from telling anyone what she's seen. But Stature isn't beat yet as she has a plan.

 

Meanwhile in China, the Chinese Heroes come to and attack USAgent and Quicksilver thinking that The Unspoken is with them. Luckily, they are able to quickly get past this little understanding. 

 

Elsewhere The Young Avengers return to the ruins of Avengers Mansion to meet up with Stature and Vision. They are obviously butt-hurt about being ditched by their friends, but Stature smoothes things over by inviting them to Hank Pym's new Infinite Avengers Mansion, little do they know that a character hidden in shadow follows after them.

 

Inside the Mansion Stature tells her teammates that Scarlet Witch has joined up with them and it just so happens that she might be Wiccan and Speed's mother. So Wiccan summons her to their location and what they get is a very pissed off God of Mischief who quickly begins to take them all down. Lucky for them the shadowy figure who followed them turns out to be Ronin who jumps in to help.

 

So far I haven't been totally blown away with Mighty Avengers since Bendis left. I like it enough to keep reading it, but I hope it starts to get better. I like the idea of Hank Pym finally being a team leader again, as he was a bit a wussy for too long. But the whole Infinite Mansion thing and Jocasta, this robot that Pym seems to be in love with or something is just a little to strange for me. However, I am curious to see what Loki has planned for them, especially now that his cover has been blown.

 

 

 

Dark Avengers 8 – Utopia Chapter Five

 

Writer: Matt Fraction

 

Pencils: Luke Ross

 

As Utopia comes to a close the shit really starts to go down! Dani Moonstar has gone to Las Vegas to get some power. In San Francisco The Dark X-Men are cleaning up the city. On Alcatraz Dark Beast continues to work on his Omega Machine that rids mutants of their powers, but it seems to be a glorified torture machine and Beast isn't doing so well against it. This really upsets the Dark X-Men.

 

Meanwhile, Beast's team of mutant scientists goes spelunking under the Bay Of Oakland. Why? We're not sure yet, but they do find what they're looking for. 

 

Then the new X-Force team, led by Wolverine, show up in Dark Beast's labs and start messing up the joint hardcore. So The Dark X-Men have no choice but to go up against their former teammates. Elsewhere Scott Summers brings his plan closer to fruition as what they begin to raise what they found under the bay to the surface of the water.

 

The two X-Teams have a pretty brutal fight but the tide suddenly turns when Emma Frost turns and slams Dakken face first into the ground and Namor takes out Mimic. Then, Frost invites the Dark X-Men to join the good guys. This was all part of Scott's plan. So Frost, Namor, Cloak and Dagger take off with X-Force. In the middle of the bay Osborne is stunned to see Asteroid M float to the surface of the water, now serving as Utopia: Scott Summers' safe haven for all mutants. As one might imagine Osborne is none to happy about this and takes his Dark Avengers in to take out the X-Men once and for all.

 

The issue ends with Osborne proclaiming: "Bring me Namor's Head and Emma Frost's heart. And Make sure Summers sees you do it."

 

Utopia has proven to be a very interesting story arc, and seeing a badass plan like Summers' come together is always exciting. The fights are pretty brutal in this issue which is action packed and doesn't let up for a second.

 

Well, that's it for October. Pretty solid month for Avengers Action. A lot going on, a lot to take in. Can't wait to see what happens next!

 

See you next time true believers!

Pat's Book Review - Deathtroopers

 

When Deathtroopers was first announced back in February, I thought it was a joke at first.  A Star Wars horror book?  No way!  Star Wars has always been a very PG universe.  That means no explicit sex and no major blood and gore.  Did you ever notice how everyone ever shot with a Blaster or sliced in half with a Lightsaber never bleeds?  That's what I'm talking about.  PG Universe.  So the idea of a dark and disturbing horror story set in the Star Wars universe just didn't seem like a realistic possibility to me.  When I saw the cover of the book (pictured above), I thought it was some sort of prank.  And when I found out the book was supposed to be about zombies, I was even more convinced it was a joke.

 

But color me suprised, it was real.  Lucasfilm had agreed to allow a known horror writer named Joe Schreiber to write a full-on R rated horror story set in the Star Wars universe.  Being the fan of both Star Wars and zombies that I am, you can imagine that I was pretty excited.  I've spent the last few months eagerly awating October when I would get to read a tale that blended two of my favorite genres into one.  Well, that time has finally come.  The book came out a few weeks ago, I have finally read it, and I am here to share my opinions.

 

Before we get going though, I am going to throw out a MASSIVE SPOILER WARNING here.  I'm not going to reveal every single plot point in the story, but there is definitely one major suprise in the book that I am going to discuss as it pertains directly to some of my thoughts and feelings about the book.  So consider yourself warned.  Ok, here we go.

 

Let's begin with a brief summary of the plot set up, shall we?  Death Troopers is a story that takes place about a year before the events of Episode IV:  A New Hope.  The Empire is firmly in charge of the galaxy, the rebellion has started up and is going strong, Alderaan is still around and the name Luke Skywalker hasn't been heard of by anyone other than some punk kids on Tattooine.  We begin aboard an Imperial prison barge called The Purge as it is flying out to a remote penal colony to drop off a bunch of prisoners.  On board along with hundreds of other prisoners are two teenage boys named Kale and Trig Longo.  They and their father had been arrested for being petty grifters a few weeks back.  Their father had been killed on board the Purge a week or so earlier by a prison guard named Jareth Sartoris, and now the boys had been left to fend for themselves. 

 

They run afoul of a prison gang pretty quickly and are very much worried for their lives when the day-in and day-out routines aboard the prison barge are suddenly interrupted by a major mechanical failure of the ship's engines.  While still a long ways away from the prison colony, the ship drops out of hyperspace in the middle of nowhere.  The Imperial officers running the ship determine that their engines are completely shot as well as the long distance communications systems.  With no ability to go anywhere or call for help, the Purge finds itself in a very desperate state.  Luckily for them though, their sensors are picking up an Imperial Star Destroyer close by. 

 

Something's strange though.  The Star Destroyer isn't responding to any of their hails.  The ship's systems are running, but only a dozen or so life signs are registered on board the massive craft which typically has a crew of 10,000.  Not knowing what else to do though, the Purge's captain orders two teams to board the Star Destroyer to try to find out what's happing over there and to possibly salvage repair parts for their own engines.  Jareth Sartoris ordered to command the teams. 

 

On board the Star Destroyer, no signs of life are found.  It's as if all of the ship's crew had just up and vanished.  Jareth's teams split up and go searching for parts.  A little while later, after some searching, his engineers find the parts they need to fix the Purge's engines.  They call the second team but get no response.  Figuring they must have already gone back to the Purge, Sartoris and his team return to the ship as well.  On the way back down to their ship though, something strange starts happening.  Two or three members of his team start showing severe signs of an infection.  They begin coughing and vomiting and suffering from seizures. 

 

Once back aboard the Purge, the team is taken to the medical bay where the chief medical officer, a woman by the name of Zahara Cody, attempts to treat them.  The disease is like nothing she's ever seen though, and soon enough she realizes that it has already spread throught the entire prison barge.  The disease is lethal too.  Within hours, over 99% of the ship's crew are dead.  The few survivors must have some natural immunity to the disease. 

 

It's here that the story really gets going.  The disease is obviously what creates the zombie army our survivors have to deal with.  At this point, the only people left alive are Dr. Cody, Kale and Trig , Officer Sartoris, and two unknown prisoners who had been holed up in solitary confinement this whole time.  More on those two in a bit though.  As a setup for the story, I was really hooked into how things were going.  One of my favorite things in a horror story is watching as the situation goes from normal to all sorts of messed up, and the author did a great job here.  The prison barge was already a crappy place to be stuck on at the beginning of the book, but as the disease spreads it goes from being crappy to being a living hell hole.  Dead bodies are everywhere, they've covered the walls and floors of the ship with vomit and blood and god knows what else from the disease.  The stink of death is everywhere aboard the Purge. 

 

As horror stories go, that's a pretty sweet setting.  I was really looking forward to seeing the dead stat to rise, and how our main characters would deal with them.  I was also really enjoying the fact that I was getting to read a Star Wars book that didn't have any major characters from the movie in it.  One of my biggest pet peeves about Star Wars books is the fact that the same characters are used over and over and over again.  Exactly how many times do Han, Luke and Leia have to save the galaxy anyways?  20?  30?  100?  In a story telling setting that is literally the size of a galaxy, why do we always have to go back to the same five people time and time again to save everyone?  Are you telling me that no one else is available to save the day for once?

 

My favorite Star Wars books by far have always been the X-Wing series by Michael Stackpole.  Aside from my love of X-Wings in general, this is because the majority of those books are about new characters we've never seen before.  Sure, some minor characters from the films like Wedge Antilles are there in force and you'll get the occasional one or two page cameo by Luke, but the vast majority of those stories were about characters who had never appeared in a movie.  That's a rarity in Star Wars books, and I was absolutely loving that this book was only featuring characters I'd never heard of before.  It was new people doing new stuff.  I was all for it.  Besides, how could you possibly include any of the major existing characters into a zombie story anyways.  That would be insane, right?

 

As I said, I was really enjoying the book's set up and was eagerly awaiting the arrival of the zombies when the ship's Dr. decides to head down to solitary confinement to try to save the two unknown prisoners that are down there.  This too had me excited as I had no idea who was down there and I was looking forward to more new characters to read about.  Soon enough, Dr. Cody gets down to solitary and opens the cells.  And then it happens.  On page 96 of the book, everything that I had been loving about the story so far entirely goes away.  On page 96, what was obviously meant to be a cool suprise for Star Wars fans takes place and not one, but two major characters from Star Wars lore step out of their cells and into this story that they really have no right being in.  On page 96 he swaggers out of his cell with a lop-sided grin a mile wide.

 

Han Fucking Solo.

 

Yeah, that's right, Han Solo and Chewie just happen to be prisoners aboard the ship that is about two seconds away from being introduced to a full on zombie apocalypse.  I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped when this happened.  I was shocked, and not in a good way.  I was not happy to see this development, no not at all.  I was angry.  Why the hell would you include Han Solo and Chewie into a story of this nature?  They were a total distraction to what the focus of the story should have been, the zombies and the survivors.  Han and Chewie are a known element.  We all know that there's no chance in hell that either of these two are going to die from a zombie bite, so any potential dramatic tension regarding them is completely non-existant.  It's like watching a horror film after being told in the opening credits who's going to live and who's going to die.  It sort of defeats the point.

 

The enjoyment of a good zombie story is getting to find out who lives and who dies.  Zombie stories are survival tales where we see a rag tag group of people who are forced to work together, and you know that most of them aren't going to make it.  Having Han and Chewie in there just ruined everything.  It was pretty obvious at that point who our survivors would be, and who was about to become zombie bait.  Who do you think will survive a zombie apocalypse, Han Solo or some random Imperial guard named Sartoris?  That's almost like asking who would die in a Star Trek away party, Kirk, Spock, McCoy or Ensign "No First Name" Johnson?

 

It's not that I don't like Han Solo.  I fucking love Han Solo and Chewbacca.  They (along with Lando) were my favorite characters from the original trilogy.  I love reading about them.  I've read tons of books about them.  However, I did not want to read about them here.  They would have been the last people I would have wanted to see in this story.  You can imagine then that I was highly disappointed at this point.  The book I had been waiting months for had just been ruined, but I was determined to try to enjoy the rest of it.  After all, it is a zombie book and I hadn't even gotten to the zombies yet.  I couldn't quit now.  So, pushing aside the bitter taste in my mouth, I plunged on.

 

I will admit, the rest of the book is decently entertaining.  It's not a great book by any means.  There's nothing mind blowing about it, but it definitely has some solid strengths going for it.  Author Joe Schreiber is a very talented horror writer.  He did an excellent job of making the story every bit as gory and gruesome and creepy as it should have been.  Never before in a Star Wars book have I read lurid details about peope's limbs being severed or intestines falling out.  Never have I ever read detailed descriptions about what happens to someone who takes a blaster shot to the face (it's really not pretty).  As a writer, Schreiber excels at conveying the dark and bloody world of Death Troopers.  This definitely isn't your typical Star Wars book.  This is something far uglier, and I mean that in the best way possible.

 

The book is also rather short (only 234 pages or so), and it's paced very well.  It's a quick and easy read and at no point did I feel that the story felt bogged down or slow.  The ending is a little abrupt though and felt a little anti-climatic.  I was expecting some big action sequence near the end where they blew up the Star Destroyer or something, but that never really happened.  On the plus side though, the story is entirely self contained.  No prior knowledge of Star Wars other than the movies is required to enjoy this book.  Even if you've never read a Star Wars book before, you can still pick this up and be completely entertained.  I liked that a lot as most Star Wars books these days are heavily steeped in expanded universe crap to the point where if you haven't read every other Star Wars book first, you'll have no idea what's going on.

 

Overall, the book is fun.  It's entertaining and will definitely appeal to both fans of Star Wars or zombies.  However, it's a bit short and the inclusion of Han and Chewie was a really poor decision in my opinion.  Maybe it's just me, but I think it's entirely possible to have a good Star Wars book that doesn't feature any characters from the film at all.  I think Death Troopers would have been better had Han and Chewie not been it it.

 

Final Grade:  3 Stars out of 5

Of The Beginnings Of Star Trek Conventions

 

 

While I was randomly wandering the internet the other day, I ran across this amazing piece done by Newsweek about the origins of the Star Trek Convention.  It's not so much an article as it is a photo slide show with narration, but it's an amazing bit of uncovered nerd history that I really wish I got to see more of.

 

The news piece focuses on one of the very first ever Star Trek Conventions that was held back in 1975.  The narration is provided by costume Designer Angelique Trouvere, a self described "Trekkie from way back", who reflects back on the great times Trek fans had back at these early conventions.  This was back when the stars could still mingle with the fans and when William Shatner was rocking a leisure suit that featured multiple shades of peach.  No, seriously, a peach leisure suit.  It has to be seen to be believed.

 

What really impressed me the most though was how the piece took the time to point out that most of these early conventions were mainly female affairs.  They were organized by women, run by women, and the majority of the attendees of the conventions were women.  As someone who is always rallying against the stereotype that geeks are only ever men, it is so incredibly awesome to see something like this that blows that stereotype to little tiny bits. 

 

Star Trek conventions, those things that the majority of the world consider to only ever be attended by overweight and socially deficient males, were in fact originally created by and for women.  Very nerdy women.  Very nerdy and very beautiful women who showed up in costumes that would put modern COSplayers to shame with their awesomeness.  You go ladies!  All of us Trek nerds who have come after you owe you an incredibly massive debt.  If it wasn't for you, we may never have gotten more Trek in the form of movies and then new shows like TNG and DS9.  Your valiant efforts have helped to make the world as nerdy as it is today. 

 

Thank you!

 



 

I have to say this though.  If I ever get access to a time machine, I'm totally going back to 1975 to attend these conventions.  They look so incredible.  They must have been an absolute blast to attend. 

 

Sigh, I wish I had been born sooner so I could have gone to cool stuff like this.  Con's nowadays are all about overcrowding, minimum star/fan interaction, overpriced tickets and food, long ass lines and never getting to see the stuff you really wanted to see.  I do remember going to Star Trek Conventions in the early to mid 90's and I clearly remember them being awesome.  Young nerds today don't know what they're missing.  Old school cons were the best.

Nickelodeon Buys Everyone's Favorite Turtles

 

Wow, this wasn't something I expected to see . . . well . . . ever.  The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have been sold to children's TV Network Nickelodeon.  Weird, I didn't even know the Turtles were for sale.

 

Nickelodeon, a division of Viacom, has acquired the global rights to the property from the Mirage Group and 4Kids Entertainment. Additionally, Nick's sister company Paramount will steer a new "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" feature to the bigscreen, planned for 2012. Scott Mednick ("300") is producing the pic.

 

The deal, which gives Nick the global intellectual property rights to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, cost $60 million. ...

 

Nick, which also acquired all merchandising rights to the Turtles, will begin developing a CG-animated TV series based on the Turtles, also slated to premiere in 2012. Nick will continue to work with its original and longstanding toy partner, Playmates Toys.

 

First off, who knew that the Turtles franchise was worth $60 million?  I certainly didn't.  Secondly, I can't really say that this is a bad thing.  I, like just about everyone else my age, grew up watching and reading about the Turtles.  I love the Turtles, so hearing that Nickelodeon (the same network that has brought us some amazing animated shows in the past like Avatar: The Last Airbender) is now in charge of the Turtles brand and is planning on doing a lot with it is definitely something I'd mark as a positive thing.  A new Movie?  A new CG Animated show?  Funk Yeah!!!

 

I'm going to be keeping a very open mind about this sale.  With any luck, Nickelodeon will pump out some really awesome new Turtles stuff, and the little kid in me will be very happy.  I can't wait to see what they do.

Rockabilly Zombie Music With Ukeleles? Yes Please!!!

 

Many thanks to BoingBoing for pointing out to me the new EP from a band called Mad Tea Party.  The album is called Zombie Boogie, and it's perfect Halloween party music.  With lyrics like this, how could you go wrong?

 

Zombie boogie, it's a killer jive
Zombie boogie, it's not alive
Zombie boogie, no one survives

 

Zombie boogie, it's the latest craze
Zombie boogie, straight from the grave
Zombie boogie, puts you in a daze

 

Zombie boogie, it's a solid fact
Zombies died, now they're comin' back
It's the zombie boogie, and you're a snack

 

To hear the EP's songs, including Zombie Boogie and Cemetery Stomp, go here.  You can also download the tracks there as well for about a dollar a song.  If you download all of them, you get a bonus song, a cover of the 80's classic Abba Cadabra.  Awesome!!!

Godzilla Truly Is The King Of The Monsters

 

When it comes to giant monsters, I'm willing to bet that most of you are like me and generally assume that they're all generally around the same size, right?  When one says Godzilla or King Kong or the Stay Puft Marshmellow man, in my head I picture them all about the sizes of tall skyscrapers, going toe-to-toe in violent and destructive combat through highly populated city centers.

 

It turns out though, that's not the case at all.  In fact, the size disparity between many of the best known monsters is actually pretty large.  You remember that famous Godzilla vs. King Kong battle we've all seen before?  Well, that was total crap.  According to the actual mythologies around both characters, it turns out that Godzilla is actually a great deal larger than King Kong as well as just about every other monster ever.

 

How large, you ask?  Just look at the chart above.  That's how large.  What you see there is a relative size comparison chart which is part of a book series called Visual Aid.  It has all sorts of fun comparative size charts for things like man-made space rockets, fictional starships and other stuff too.  You can see some of these other charts by going here.

 

The picture above is accurate.  If King Kong and Godzilla actually existed and were to actually fight, Kong would be scooped up by Godzilla as a light snack pretty quickly.  Hell, eve the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man is only half of Godzilla's size.  And Optimus Prime?  Forget about it.  He's about the size of a football to Godzilla.  Before he knew what was happening, a good swift kick from the King of Monsters would punt Optimus hundreds of miles away.

 

People say that size doesn't matter, but in the world of giant monsters it definitely does.  There's a reason Godzilla is called the King of the Monsters.  This chart points out exactly what that reason is.

The Left 4 Dead 2 Trailer Makes Me Want To Kill Zombies

 

Valve has released a new trailer for the upcoming zombie killing game Left 4 Dead 2, and hot damn if it doesn't look downright incredible. Seriously, this thing makes me want to grab a bat and go searching for hordes of undead that I can lay waste to.

 

The trailer is made up entirely of footage from the games cutscenes, so it also gives us a look at who the new characters are, and what kinds of personalities they will have. All in all, this game is definitely on my "must purchase on the first day it comes out" list. It can't come out soon enough as far as I'm concerned.

How Well Do You Know Jason Vorhees?

 

I've posted up a few quizzes before from the website Mental_Floss.  They really do come up with some great stuff from time to time.  This is one of their older quizzes, but I just found it and took it for the first time yesterday.  It's the Friday The 13th quiz, and it's suprisingly harder than I thought it would be.  I consider myself to be a pretty big Jason Fan, and even I had to guess at some of the items on this quiz.

 

How well do you know the stories of Jason and Pamela Vorhees?  Do you think you know the legends of Camp Crystal Lake pretty well?  Then give the quiz a shot and see how well you do.  I only managed a 7 out of 13.  Can you do better?

 

The quiz doesn't include the newest remake from last year, but it does include stuff all the way up to the Freddy Vs. Jason film.  Just FYI.

Leonard Nimoy Goes In Search Of . . . Dracula

 

If you have never seen or heard of the show In Search Of, you're really missing out. In Search Of was an amazing (and by amazing I mean so bad and cheesy it was awesome) TV show that ran from 1976 to 1982 which looked at all sorts of strange and unexplained phenomenons from around the world. Atlantis, Bigfoot, the Nazca Lines, Stonehenge, you name it and it was probably covered by In Search Of.

 

What made the show great was a mix of things. First and foremost, it was hosted and narrated by none other than Mr. Leonard Nimoy. When it comes to cool and trippy voiceovers, you really can't get much better than Leonard Nimoy. Secondly, the show was made in the late 70's, so it's got this great classic science feel to it where the research and the technology shown in the episodes are incredibly dated. Finally, the music in the background of every episode of the show is this trippy sort of experimental moog music which just adds to the overall awesomeness of things.

 

In Search Of was one of my favorite shows when I was in high school. I used to come home every day and watch it as I ate a late lunch. Already being the big huge Star Trek nerd that I was, having Leonard Nimoy hosting it was a hook I couldn't escape. Since the show was made around the time of the first Star Trek films too, Mr. Nimoy can be seen on occasion looking young and hip in his cool 70's clothes and 70's hair. It's almost too cool for words.

 

In honor of Halloween, I've included part one of the Dracula episode of In Search Of with this post. It really is a fun thing to watch, filled with a decent historical account of the man Dracula was based upon, along with some rather outlandish myths and legends that surround him. It makes for great halloween viewing. And if you want to see some classic Nimoy, he pops up around the 5:25 mark.

 

If you want to see more of In Search of, just do a search for it on youtube, there's a bunch of episodes on there.

 

Enjoy.

Wes' Book Review - Twilight: Eclipse

 

When we last left Bella, Jacob Black had just simultaneously thrown a wrench in her plans to become a Vampire and gotten her grounded for a really long time by revealing ton her father that she owned a motorcycle (go team Jacob!).  What's a girl to do? I guess plan on fleeing as soon as you're graduated to Alaska where you will pretend to be attending college, but actually have your boyfriend, Edward, attend to you as to make sure you don't kill anyone in your fresh vampire blood lust. While this is going on we hear of an every rising body count in nearby Seattle (dead people!? I'm listening), which not only Charlie Swan (as a police officer) is interested in, but something the Cullen's have been keeping an eye on. Because much like a Harry Potter book, there's no such thing as a coincidence.

 

Bella is soon relieved of her punishment of being grounded, on the stipulation she tries to spend more time with people other than her vampire boyfriend. Mostly what her father means is, Jacob Black, who he prefers far over Edward (and I did too, way to ruin the one good character, but I'm getting ahead of myself here). Edward uses the new found freedom to bring up that Carlisle and Esme (his "parents") had given Bella tickets to visit her mother Renee in Jacksonville Florida for her birthday. So Bella and Edward visit Florida, only for her mother Renee to say something along the lines of "wow you two really are inseparable and he seems to always be protecting you". Bella writes her mother off by making her feel crazy, which I guess is what happens when you used to seem like a pretty decent girl, and somehow in the course of three books became kind of conniving.

 

Bella and Edward return and Jacob has been calling all kinds panicked after ignoring Bella's calls before she left for Florida. Being inept, Bella doesn't realize that her trip away could have meant she was changed into a vampire, thus starting an all out war between the Cullens and the werewolves. Jacob even goes to Bella's school to make sure she hasn't been changed yet and there's a little stand-off between Jacob and Edward, sadly though, neither bothers to entertain ME by tearing the others arms off a'la Chewbacca (be patient Wes, it'll come eventually). So Jacob tells Bella that Victoria (the red haired Vampire that's hunting Bella for revenge against Edward for her fallen love James, a vampire who hunted Bella in the first book, and was killed by the Cullens) came back into town looking for her, and that was the reason Edward actually took her to Florida.

 

Since Alice can see the future (a skill that seems to get a little more powerful in each book as to the suit the storyline) Bella decides after getting the day off from work unexpectedly to race down to LaPush to see Jacob before Edward can stop her. Edward's still apprehensive about letting Bella hang out with werewolves because they might accidentally kill her, even if the viewpoint is only slightly more hypocritical than when Bella assumed the werewolves were the ones killing people in New Moon. Bella fills Jacob in on the events that took place in Italy and Jacob fills Bella in on the entire story of when Victoria was in town and how it almost came down to a fight between Cullens and the werewolves because there might have been some territory crossing. Jacob tells Bella about imprinting, which I've heard about in groundhogs before (thank you Margo Handwerker), but evidently werewolves do also. What happens is once they lay eyes on someone, they fall instantly in love with that person and will do anything to be around them, to protect them, and be whatever it is they need. It had already happened to members of the werewolf pack, once between the leader Sam and his girlfriends cousin (ouchy!), another time between one of the werewolves and a girl that sat next to him in school, and thirdly on a two year old girl.

 

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you Stephenie Meyer? I don't care about the character, I'm concerned about you, for thinking about that. Lets not dwell because that might be an entire article to itself just there, but I don't care about the myth here, that's just icky.

 

Things are heating up, and when Edward leaves town to kill some big game and drink it's blood, he leaves Bella in the care of Alice, against Bella's will, because all she wants to do is go hang out with werewolves again. Though this does give Rosalie the chance to tell her story about how she became a vampire. An upper middle class potential trophy wife to be, Rosalie is the prettiest of the Cullens. Basically she becomes betrothed to an asshole without knowing it, is attacked by her drunken fiance who left her to die in the snow. Carlisle felt bad for the pretty frostbitten girl and turned her. There's even a pretty cool, albeit overly dramatic, story about her getting her revenge on the fiance. Complete with Rosalie wearing the wedding-dress-to-be while murdering him. You know, the kind of stuff these books could use heaping more spoonfuls of. Rosalie does all of this though to give Bella something to chew on as per what she would be giving up by becoming a vampire, the simple things like having kids and, well, that's pretty much about it.

 

After school, Jacob uses Alice's gap in her vision of the future surrounding werewolves to sneak up and steal Bella away to the reservation again. Though the visit doesn't last long as Jacob tells Bella he would rather her be dead than turned into a vampire. Smooth. Though this last trip to LaPush is what makes Edward realize he's just bigoted against werewolves and he really isn't ever going to be able to stop Bella from seeing Jacob anyways (plus we all know what happens to teenage girls when you tell them to not do something). Bella returns from being held captive/being by watched by Alice to a note from her dad that Jacob had called to apologize and that she's missing things from her room. Edward comes into her room and smells a vampire, but it's not Victoria (thank GAWD, this story needed more vampires badly). Bella of course forgives Jacob and calls to accept his apology. Edward asks for the phone so he can inform the werewolves to be on the lookout for vampires who aren't ginger harbingers of Isabella Swan death. The conversation leads to Edward and Jacob starting to get the werewolves and the Cullen family to work together.

 

 

So Bella goes to the reservation to hang out with the pack for a night while they have a bonfire, tell some Quileute legends about the origins of their people, and how it was when the first vampires came to the northwest. Jacob is the great great great (I'm not sure how many greats) grandson of the first werewolf, Taha Aki. Evidently Taha lived long enough to have had three wives and this third wife, to protect him and their sons during a fight he was losing with a vampire, stabbed herself in the chest to send the vamp into blood lust. In it's frenzy for blood, it fought poorly, and lost to Taha Aki. Exactly the kind of thing you want to tell Bella about right?

 

So after some plot point reiteration, we get to another interesting part. Jasper's back story. So Jasper, the tall blonde weak-willed vampire of the Cullen family was changed during the Civil War by a trio of vampire women who wished to rule a territory south of Texas into Mexico. Being a vampire in the south is evidently different than the wandering nomad vampire that kills as needed in the north. There's gang warfare going on all over the place to fight over the territories with dense population where it would be easy for a vampire to feed. The covens would usually use the tactic of creating a bunch of fresh vampires to raid another coven's territory then trade out young vampires as needed.

 

I want to take a moment to give Meyer credit for something here, she added something to her vampire myth I'd never heard before, and being a credit where credit is due kind of dude, I have to point it out. Evidently the newly created vampire is the strongest form of vampire in the Twilight universe, as it's body and muscles still contain mostly human blood. As human blood is where pretty much EVERY vampire mythos says they derive their strength from, it would make sense that a vampire with a body still filled to the tippy top with human 0+ would easily be able to wreck a vampire who has to feed for every drop in his own body.

 

So anyways, back to Jasper. Jasper a former military man himself, made an excellent vampire war tactician, and helped another vampire Maria run what was the most successful coven in all of the south. Eventually Jasper was sick of all the warring and the killing and went on to run a ferry on the Me-Kong river, no wait, that was John Rambo. Jasper left Maria and began to wander with a couple of vampires when he eventually ran across Alice, who seeing the future, was waiting for him in a diner in Philly. Alice knew Jasper wanted out of the killing life and the two of them went to join the Cullens.

 

Bella goes down to visit Jacob on the reservation and this where Meyer completely ruins his character for me. Jacob flat out tells Bella he's in love with her, and she of course responds with "yeah I know, I love Edward" and all is pretty much like you figure it would be until he steals a kiss. When I say steals a kiss, I don't mean in the sweet way where he sneaks up on her and steals a quick kiss. I mean Jacob mouth rapes Bella while she protests and attempts to shove him off of her yelling "no!" the entire time. Even after Bella belts Jacob in the mouth hard enough to fracture a bone in her hand, Jacob is smug about how much he's certain his magic kiss will make Bella realize that she loves him back. In one terrible moment Meyer takes Jacob Black, the ONE character I can truly enjoy in these books and turns him into one of those douche-bags you see at a bar in a shirt with too much print on it and a beard trimmed like George Micheals in the 80's waiting to date rape the next girl that pays attention to them. No means no, never forget it kids.

 

So Bella graduates from high school. Alice throws a graduation party at the Cullen mansion and the entire school shows up out of curiosity. Even some of the werewolves show up, because Bella invited them before she was violated. Instead of tearing his arms off, Edward decides that it would be best if the werewolves and vampires could work together to defeat what they are now certain is a vampire army created by Victoria in Seattle. So, fucking, CLOSE arm tearing!

 

So that's the way of it. Jasper teaches the werewolves about how newborn vampires fight and they hatch a plan to lead Victoria's army to the clearing by using Bella's scent then hiding her on top of a mountain. Working together they're more than confident the can claim victory. So confident in fact that Bella pleads with Edward to stay with her out of the fight, because no matter how many times she sees with her own two eyes that these are super-humans with not unlike Superman invulnerability, she's out of her mind with fear that someone will get killed.

 

All of this is interspersed with Bella trying DESPERATELY to get Edwards penis inside of her. Somehow a night of Bella being determined to finally get some vamp wang turned into her finally breaking down and getting officially engaged to Edward, with the promise that he would TRY to break her off some, without breaking her neck and drinking all the blood from her body, before changing her into a vampire. Which evidently is a problem when you're a vampire trying to give it to a human. So Edward, in his old fashioned ways, doesn't give her anything but an engagement ring, which Bella refuses to wear anyways. Is there anything about Edward that won't make a girl swoon?

 

The fight between Victoria's army and the united Cullens and werewolves approaches fast and they hide Bella's scent by having Jacob carry her to the top of a mountain where she's to hide out the whole thing. A snowstorm overtakes her encampment on the hill so Edward, who has no body heat is forced to let Jacob spend the night with her in the sleeping bag while Bella in her half wakefulness listens to them have a conversation about their jealousy of one other and generally about what it's like being a vampire and werewolf.

 

So after Jacob leaves for the fight the next morning, Bella FINALLY comes to the conclusion about what a terrible person she is for leading Jacob on and sends Edward to bring him back. Jacob comes back and throws a mini temper tantrum about how he might as well go let a vampire kill himself because Bella is just going to hurt him more, and when Bella frantically thinks the worst of her supposed friend Jacob, he asks for a kiss. Basically saying "kiss me or I'll go kill myself". Meyer did everything her power to turn this character from decent guy into a douchebag date rapist extraordinaire. So Bella, queen gullible herself, asks Jacob to kiss her for real this time. Mid lip lock, it strikes Bella, she DOES love Jacob. Not as much as she loves Edward, but loves him none-the-less. Bella pictures what life would be like if they were together, the kids they would have, growing old together, the whole nine.

 

Like I needed MORE reasons to hate Bella. This little bitch can't even decide who she truly loves and who she doesn't, she's stuck between two men essentially, and she's positive she wants to be changed into a vampire for eons and eons?

 

The worst part? Edward doesn't even get pissed at her about it! Edward is never going to tear the arms off this guy no matter how bad I want it! Before I had time to vomit on the book and throw it across the room, the moment I've been waiting thousands of pages for had finally arrived. Fighting. Glorious warfare between vampires and werewolves. Oh where have you been through this whole thing. It arrives just in time to spare Edward from really explaining why he felt it was okay for Bella not only to kiss the mouth raping Jacob, but to break down into tears in her obvious love of him.

 

Jasper's plan works like gangbusters and the army follows Bella's scent right into the trap set by the united werewolves and Cullens. Except for Victoria and a new vampire by the name Riley. Seth, a werewolf left to send information between Edward and the pack, and Edward square off against Victoria and Riley. The fights are pretty much going well but Bella panics and pulls the third wife stunt by cutting her arm open with a jagged rock. The blood causes distraction like Bella hoped for and the fight is over shortly after. Edward even decapitates Victoria (hey decapitation is good). Edward burns the bodies of Riley and Victoria and they head back to see how everyone else fared.

 

 

When they get back to the scene of the real battle, Jane and a couple of the members of the Volturi show up to find themselves unneeded in the fight against the army. They were really hoping they could clean house on both the Cullens AND Victoria's army. The werewolves hide in the forest from the Volturi in the forest because I guess the Volturi don't know werewolves exist. Bella doesn't know it yet, but finds out quickly that Jacob was hurt in the fight trying to protect one of the younger werewolves who was fighting foolishly. Of course Jacob will be fine, werewolves heal quickly.

 

The story ends with Bella going to Jacob and telling him that even though he was right to believe that she did love him, she loves Edward so much more. They agree to stay friends in spite of the love between them. It concludes with Bella telling Edward she's prepared for everything now; to turn into a vampire, to say good bye to her family and friends, and to do it all the proper way with a wedding. Even after Edward sees this, and in his excitement says "we can run away to Vegas, no ceremony" Bella shows maturity (*GASP*!) and says she has to do it properly. Edward even tries to give Bella some hot Angel losing his soul to Buffy action, but she makes HIM wait this time.

 

My thoughts;

 

Even though Meyer decided to ruin the one character I was pulling for in the series with one swift kick to my I-give-a-shit gland, this was easily the strongest book so far. The pacing was finally consistent, and if the size of this review has anything to show for her effort, Meyer kept it going with plot points instead of relying heavily on the romance of the story. The romantic tensions between characters and soap opera drama between Bella, Edward, and Jacob this time played itself out as a single element of the story instead of being it's driving force as was attempted in the earlier books.

 

Fleshing out back stories for Jasper and Rosalie also finally started to show that characters outside of Bella were capable of depth, and again, it gave you a reason to at least care if they lived or died to an extent. In the earlier books most of the characters in the background were just that, background. No different than the trees or the high school. Hell I would have cared more in New Moon if Bella's truck died than if Rosalie did. Now I feel about the same about either Rosalie or the Truck dying.

 

The ridiculousness of Jacob forcing himself on Bella, then her inevitable coming back around to admitting her love for him was ridiculous, but not really beyond what I would expect from Meyer as a storyteller, it fit her M.O. if you will. This is a good sign though, as you can tell that it at least managed to illicit a reaction from me, instead of indifference or laughter which is all the prior books usually got from me, I found myself actually caring that Meyer was ruining a perfectly sensible character.

 

It all just goes to show what, as a guy, I'm willing to forgive in the end if you show me some vampires and werewolves killing one another. The body count in this book was acceptable finally, with enough giant bloody piles of Native Americans and vampires being burned throughout the book to hold my testosterone driven attention. A theme I REALLY hope continues in the next book.

The Bitter Star Wars Nerd Review Of Clone Wars

 

Episode 04:  Senate Spy

 

This last week brought us a very different episode of the Clone Wars than we've seen before.  Instead of the typical Jedi-on-Droid or Jedi-on-Bounty Hunter action we've had in every episode up to this point, this week offered up a tale of political intrigue.  Senator Padme Amidala takes the center stage (finally) in this episode about two-faced politicians who are secretly working for the Separatists.  Specifically, the controversy is around a republic senator by the name of Rush Clovis, whom both the Republic and the Jedi suspect of secretly working for Count Dooku and his army. 

 

The episode opens with Anakin returning to see Padme after a long tour of duty and god damn if this isn't the single greatest scene between the two characters that I've ever had the pleasure of viewing.  This one scene alone is better written and shows more emotion and chemistry than all of their scenes in the whole prequel trilogy put together.  I know that's not saying much seeing as how the Anakin & Padme scenes from the film were so atrocious, and Hayden Christiansen has the acting ability of a granite slab.  Still though, the dialogue between the two in these opening scenes actually makes them feel like the lovers they are for the first time ever.  They playfully tease each other and actually act like two young people in love.  This episode managed to accomplish something that George Lucas' scripts never managed to do, it made me believe in the romance between Anakin and Padme.  It's a shame it took CG animated characters to make that happen, but whatever.

 

Soon enough though, Anakin is called away by the Jedi council.  Padme is pissed, and Anakin leaves her with this stupid statement about how "duty comes first, especially in wartime."  The Jedi council tells Anakin about their suspicians of the Senator, and they task him with convincing Padme to spy on Senator Clovis for them.  They've chosen Padme because she and Clovis entered the Senate in the same year, they served on the same councils and they were "good friends" as Mace Windu puts it.  The Jedi Council has already asked Padme once to spy on Clovis for them, but she refused.  They know that she trusts Anakin though, so they're giving him the job of changing her mind.  Anakin doesn't like this idea at all, but he's got no choice in the matter, so he goes to speak to Padme.

 

When Anakin and Padme talk, they strangely decide to have their conversation about spying on a fellow senator in the middle of the open senate buidling.  Not the most intelligent spot for such a private and secretive conversation in my opinion, but Intelligence has never really been Anakin's strong suit.  Anakin has no intention of talking Padme into working for the Jedi, instead he tries to get information from her about the guy so he can get another spy to follow him.  Unfortunately for him though, he comes off as a bit of an arrogant douche during this scene.  He tells Padme that the mission is too dangerous for her and that he won't "let" her do it.  Padme suprises me here by actually showing some spine for once and tells Anakin off.  She says it's not his decision and he has no place to tell her what she can or cannot do.  Mainly to spite him, she accepts the spying job and goes to see the Jedi Council.

 

 

While speaking with the Council, it's revealed that Padme's past with Clovis was a little more personal than Anakin had expected.  It turns out that the two used to be an item back in the day.  That's right, Anakin's not the first guy get with the former Naboo Queen and he's really not happy about it.  The whole thought of Padme having to hang with her ex brings out some major jealousy issues in him right away and he spends the rest of the episode acting all bitchy.  Padme, meanwhile, meets with Clovis and convinces him to take her on a trip with him to Cato Nemoidia, where he says he has some business to take care of.  He's a pretty easy sell on the idea actually, seeing as how he still has a major boner for Padme.  As with most men who have the hots for a pretty girl, he is thinking with the wrong head and he freely invites her along with him.

 

For the flight out they take Padme's ship and Anakin goes undercover as one of her pilots.  This is one of the more ludicris moments in the episode in my opinion.  How in the hell a Republic Senator doesn't instantly recognize one of the Clone Wars' greatest generals and heroes instantly is completely laughable.  It's been mentioned many times before that Anakin is a huge hero of the Republic.  Pretty much anyone should recognize him, yet conveniently for the plot, Clovis doesn't.  Either he's retarded or is too focused on Padme to care.  Either way, Anakin is along for the trip.

 

As far as I can remember, this is the first time we've ever gotten to see the Neimoidan homeworld, and it's pretty damned cool actually.  I always like it when the show takes us to new planets, and as opposed to last episode's trip to Mustafar, this visit to a planet that has been mentioned in the movies but never seen is wery welcome.  My only hope is that someday one of these episodes will takes us to Alderaan, but that will probably never happen.

 

 

Once on the planet, things move along pretty quickly.  It turns out that Clovis is indeed working for the Separatists and is planning to build a new Droid factory for them.  Padme finds out and manages to copy the data when Clovis isn't looking.  She sneaks the data off to Anakin, who gives it to R2, but there's one major catch.  The Neimoidians, suspecting Padme of spying and trying to find some leverage they can use over Clovis, secretly poison Padme and then hold the antidote over Clovis as a ransom.  They originally just want to control Clovis, but once Clovis realized that Padme has betrayed him and stolen the data, he realizes that if he can get it back he can trade it for the Antidote.  He and Anakin argue over this, but Anakin would rather face the Neimoidans head on (typical Anakin). 

 

Once again thinking with the wrong head, Clovis agrees to help Anakin, claiming he loves Padme and saying he can't bear the thought of her dying.  What a dumbass.  The woman just betrayed you.  If you're going to be a villain, don't do a half assed job of it.  If the life of the woman who betrayed you is in jeopardy, then you let her die.  Don't go trying to save her.  That's what villains do.  But no, Clovis is  tool and decides to help out.  He and Anakin (with an unconscious padme in tow) go looking for the Antidote.

 

Even though they're in a massive palace, they only have to go about 20 feet before the Neimoidians find them and a big confrontation is had.  At gunpoint, the antidote is handed over and the group beats a hasty retreat back to their ship.  Once they get there though Anakin closes the hatch before Clovis has a chance to board, thus pulling a total dick move on his part and screwing the guy over for what will most assuredly be torture and death at the hands of the Neimoidians.  Nevermind the fact that the guy is a traitor, he did give himself up and help saved the woman that Anakin loved.  Nevermind that Anakin is a Jedi and is supposed to help people when he can.  Nevermind that bringing Clovis along could have probably have led to some handy plea bargaining back on Coruscant where the Republic could have gotten a ton of useful information out of him.  No, completely out of jealousy Anakin decides to ditch the guy and leave him to his fate.

 

Now that's some dark Jedi behavior if I ever saw some.  I love it.  Anakin should be acting like this.  Obi-wan would have saved Clovis, Anakin chose not too.  Therein lies the difference between the two.

 

 

Overall, this was a solid episode.  It is notable that not a single blaster was fired and not once did a single lightsaber get turned on during the entire show.  It's really cool to see the Clone Wars change things up a bit and not give us the same mindless action week in and week out.  This was a whole episode devoted to plot, not action.  I loved it.  However, I do have one major problem with this episode.  I am sick and tired of seeing a helpless Padme being saved over and over again by Anakin or Obi-wan or whoever else has to come to her rescue.  It's getting old.

 

For Christ's sake, this is the woman who will be the mother of Princess Leia, one of the coolest and strongest female characters in science fiction.  Why can't her mother get an episode or two where she gets to be the badass?  Why doesn't she show any of the traits that her daughter will show later?  At the beginning of the episode, that's what I thought we might be getting.  It was wonderful to see her and Anakin argue, and for Padme to shut him up and put him in his place.  He needed it.  Then, for a while I thought I was going to get to see her be the badass she should be.  She conned Clovis, stole the data and was almost home free.  Then they had to go and poison her and Anakin once again had to come to the rescue.  By the end of the episode he was once again carrying her unconscious in his arms like the big dumb hero he is. 

 

How great would it have been if Padme was able to pull everything off on her own?  How much fun would it have been to watch Anakin getting more and more frustrated as he sits on the sidelines watching and being completely useless.  It could have been such a strong character defining episode for Padme, where she proclaimed her place as an action/adventure hero like her daughter is.  But no, instead she is once again the damsel in distress and while she does accomplish the mission, she needed a man to help her do it.  How sad.



Final Grade:  B

What Did Skeletor And Jack Skellington Actually Look Like?

 

Forensic reconstruction is a technique that's been used by police for a long time now.  It's a process in which a trained police sketch artist will try to reconstruct what someone looked like in life based on the shape and contours of their skull.  The process has been rather successful when trying to identify bodies of victims that are found which are far to decomposed to identify otherwise.  Many of the sketches turn out to be strikingly similiar to the actual victim once their identity is discovered and photos of the victim are compared with the sketch.

 

Logic would then dictate that such a process could be used to discover the appearance of fictional skeletons as well, wouldn't it?  People like Skeletor and Jack Skellington couldn't have been born looking like that, right?  They must have had skin on their heads at some point in the past.  If so, then forensic reconstruction should be able to at least give us a fairly accurate depiction of what they looked like.

 

Running with this idea, the folks who run the blog Ironic Sans decided to try this theory out.  Above you can see the results for what He-Man's greatest nemesis probably looked like before he started going with the bleached bones look.  And before you can say anything, yes, I know that Mattell actually released toys of what Skeletor looked like before he lost his skin, but I didn't really like those toys and disbelieve the image of the smarmy prince that they tried to give us.  I totally believe this version to be more realistic given the shape of Skeletor's head.

 

And here's what Jack Skellington looked like.

 



 

And just for good measure, here's Manuel Calavera from the game Grim Fandango.  I think he's my favorite of the three.  You just know he must have had that mustache and goatee during his life.  It's too perfect.

 

Contra Vs. Duck Hunt

 

Duck Hunt is one of those truly classic games from the glory days of the old Nintendo Entertainment System. Much like many of those classic games though, Duck Hunt is also one of those truly agitating and anger inducing experiences that we've all been forced to endure. I'm sure I'm not alone here with my memories of constantly being mocked by that damned dog after missing one of the ducks. Oh how he would laugh and laugh at my poor hunting skills. I really wanted to put a bullet between that dog's eyes. In fact, I still do.

 

Unfortunately, since I'm pretty sure that PeTA will never allow Nintendo to make a game called Dog Hunt, I'll never really get my chance to take that damned canine out. I guess I'll just have to take some small solace in this wonderful video where one of the characters from another classic NES game, Contra, finally does what we've all wanted to do for over 20 years now. He kills every duck in those god damned bushes.

 

The guy from Contra is now my new hero.

The GT Podcast: Episode 09 - The Halloween Episode

 

Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Halloween episode of the Geek-tastic Podcast. 

 

 

You can download an MP3 of the Podcast by clicking HERE (if you dare)

 

OR

 

You can stream the podcast online by clicking HERE (not for the faint of heart)

 

 

In this Halloween themed episode of the podcast, it's all about horror films.  We discuss the new Nightmare on Elm Street trailer, we do movie reviews for the films Zombieland and Trick 'r Treat, and we count down our top three favorite horror movie villains of all time.  It's a spooktacular show, and we hope you enjoy it.

 

Now, on to the show notes.

 

SHOW NOTES

 

Be sure to check out Christina's excellent article on Neil Gaiman.

 

Here's the Nightmare On Elm Street Trailer we're talking about.

 

This is the trailer for Zombieland.

 

This is the Hero Complex article that I mistakenly refer to as an IO9 article during the Zombieland discussion.

 

And this is the trailer for Trick 'r Treat.

 

Here's a rundown of the people we mention during our discussion of the greatest Horror movie villains of all time:

 

• Anthony Fremont


• Blair Witch


• Dracula


• Jason Vorhees


• Michael Myers


• Vampires from 30 Days of Night


• Zombies from 28 Days Later


• Zombies from the Dawn of the Dead Remake

 

And finally, one of the greatest commercials of all time.  Spike TV originally ran a bunch of these commercials, but I was only able to find one online.  The video quality is kind of crappy, but it's better than nothing, right?  Enjoy!

 

Uncharted 2

 

Now here's a gem that got released as a PS3 exclusive. Since it's released it has been receiving well received reviews. And unstandibly so.

 

The concept of the story is they have stumbled upon clues of Marco Polo finding the path to Shamballah, aka Shangri-La. The treasure hunt is pretty genuine and the scenes they have picked are very well designed. The fighting is very clean, the music is good, it sets the mood, and the puzzles aren't overly complicated but well done. Now for the good parts of it:

 

Easily one of THE most, well designed tutorials I have ever played. It doesn't flow away from the story to teach you how to duck and shoot or throw a punch. It's very linear and keeps you in the game.  And also a good amount of practice and repetition so that what you just learned gets embedded into your flow that you don't forget it immediately or have to look up the move again.

And secondly, one of the strong points of the game, the script. Very well written, like the first one. The main hero, Nathan Drake, is a smart ass, humorous, very charismatic and knows how to talk to the ladies.

 

The weapons have unique difference which lets you expand on choices based on what the current situation warrants. You can get away with using the 357 Mag, but, only 6 bullets and way bigger kick back. You can use the .45 which has a higher ammo clip and easier to group your shots, but, of course, less stopping power. And of course this applies to the bigger guns, like AK47s and shotguns. You can only carry one big gun, one sidearm, and grenades all with limited ammo cache. So even though it is kind of a survival/adventure because you have to ration your bullets, but you can pick up the other weapons your dead targets have dropped, and then your limited to how much ammo that newly acquired gun can carry. And a good addition is you can pick up the riot shields enemies carry. How many times have you encountered someone with a bullet proof shield and you can't pick it up for yourself? And to add more realism, the harder hitting weapons knock you off balance a bit more when your hiding behind the shield.

 

This is a solidly made game by the makers of Crash Bandicoot and also gives me faith in their next installment of Ratchet And Clank.

 

For PS3 owners, this is a recommended game.

 



 

 

Update: After putting in more hours, the music gets a lot better when more tense battles begin. The puzzle solving gets a little bit trickier but there is a good hint system so you dont get stuck forever. And there is an addition on here that is ideal. Uncharted 2 can access your twitter account and sent out tweets that update your progress in the game. I didn't let it access because I didn't feel the need to tweet my achievements, but it is a unique and cool idea for a modern social site.

 

The multiplayer I am hearing is a lot of fun and the co-op runs pretty well. But one thing I came across is the fact that your partner in certain situations does engage in firearm combat. Another woman with a gun shooting at enemies, sound sort of frightening because of shellshock from Sheva of Resident Evil 5? Need not worry, this sidekick (Chloe) already knows what to do. She doesn't walk in the path of your shot, and will actually make a decent kill. And this actually happens, she will kill someone that is firing upon you if you get stuck in the crossfire of two opponents. And since she uses her own ammo and gun, you dont have to supply her with anything. How ideal is that!?

Primeval get's a season 4 & 5

 

If you don't know about Primeval. It first got released for the BBC Feburary 2007.  It's a PG show with graphic violence, there are deaths, some pretty bloody, but most of it is done by a digital beast. But, what else can you do with a monster from a different time period.

 

So the concept of the show is "anomalies' start to appear, it's a glimmering portal that seem to open time lines on Earth. Some open to a period with Dodo birds, a Columbian Mammoth, a Pteranodon and, as pictured above, a Gorgonopsid (wider mouthed creature). Around the middle of the first season the theory begins to expand that the anomalies can open to time lines in the future. Also pictured above is the future predator. The cast features people with different backgrounds that manage to pool each other's strength's to solve a common problem.

 

The third season ended in a cliff hanger of epic proportions.

**SPOILER ALERT**

If you haven't seen the show but intend to...

In the third season they killed off the main character Nick Cutter and the main antagonist Helen Cutter (the wife) and no one has really stepped up to the reigns as the "leader" of the group.  The 2 longest members of the team get trapped in the Cretaceous period after being chased by a pack of Deiononychus and the only other member who had the opportunity to become a leader get's trapped in, what is basically, the cradle of man, when the first colony of homonids come around. Then the sun begins to set as the season finale ends.

And like a tv station that comes up with reality shows that have been copied over here in the US, it got cancelled. Even though it was popular with books, toys and a fan base. They posted a huge loss financially and dropped their shows that needed production values and a cast to keep their other shows alive. Sounds all too familiar doesn't it?

 

But here's the shiny line now, like most tv shows are doing, they are listening to their fans. After it was deemed for cancellation in June 2009, there was outcries from fan sites demanding more seasons, or at least even closure. Now September comes along and Primeval gets a second chance at life and is renewed for 2 more seasons.

 

With recent shows being given life after death like Futurama, that maybe some production companies may actually start listening to the people they are catering to.

 

Oh and the show, it's got some mother fucking dinosaurs!

Learn Your ABC's With Wolverine

 

Comic Artist Shawn Murphy is strangely enough an exclusively contracted artist for DC comics, but on the side he's been working on a series of art on his that has Marvel Comics' most popular mutant Wolverine making up each and every letter of the aplhabet. So far, Mr. Murphy has only gotten up to the letter H, but already the series is looking to be more awesome than I can comprehend.

 

Marvel Comics have apparently contacted Murphy about his series, and he's stated that he's not against working with the big M once his contract with DC runs out.

 

I've been approached by two Marvel editors who want me to "switch teams" once my DC exclusive is done, so maybe something with the ABCs can be worked out if that happens. But if you're looking to buy something then find me at a convention next year. My art dealer Paolo at Cadencecomicart.com is looking to make up prints. I'm thinking either prints of the whole alphabet, single prints of each letter, or custom prints for people who want their child's name spelled out for the nursery (which is why the series isn't too violent). Maybe all three. I'll do a poll at some point to see what people would be interested in.

 

Personally, my vote would be for all of the above. Why should we have to choose? I think it would be rad to get a full print of all of the letters as well as individual letters to spell out whatever you wanted. Just imagine how cool the Geek-tastic logo at the top of the page would look if it was spelled out entirely by Wolverine.

 

Be sure to check out Shawn Murphy's Deviant Art page to see his Wolverine Gallery as well as some of his other great work too.

 

(Via IO9)

Will Megan Fox Die In Transformers 3?

 

I haven't really been reporting much on the whole Transformers 3 development process, nor have I been reporting on the real-life internet squabling that has been taking place between Transformers Director Michael Bay and totally talentless star Megan Fox since Transformers 2 came out this last summer.  I haven't been covering this for two reasons.

 

1. I really don't care about the squabbling that Bay and Fox have been doing because I'm not a follower of celebrity gossip and could give two shits what either of them have to say about each other.


2. Transformers 2 was such a giant piece of crap that I really would rather not think about the possibility of Transformers 3 being made.  Just the thought of it is making me stomach churn.

 

Anyways, something has come up that I finally feel good enough about to report, but before I do I should probably gloss over the back story so you have some context.  Ok, here we go:

 

Shortly after Transformers 2 was released, Megan Fox started doing these interviews where she came out with some really nasty comments about both the film and its director Michael Bay.  Basically, the comments boiled down to the film is pretty crappy, she just did it for a paycheck and Michael Bay is a really shitty director to work with.  Really, she even compared working with him to being like working with Napoleon or Hitler.  Shortly after this happened, a bunch of the crew from Transformers 2 put up a statement online saying that Fox is a thankless spoiled brat who is lucky that Michael Bay plucked her from obscurity and she'd better watch out because he can put her right back there.

 

Bay, for his part, tried to downplay the whole thing and released a statement where he said he doesn't condone either the crew's statement or any of Fox's statements either.  Instead he said that Megan's crazy comments are just a part of her crazy charm and that he was looking forward to working with her for Transformers 3.

 

That was a few weeks ago.  Then, more recently, this news came out.

 

Rumors are swirling online after InTouch magazine released an article saying that Michael Bay is planning to kill off Megan Fox in Transformers 3.  And there's more.  Not only will she possibly be killed off in the film, but rumors have it that she may very well die in the film's first few minutes just so she can be replaced by a new lead actress for the rest of the film.  Here's a quote from an unnamed "insider" in the Intouch article.

 

"Michael's pretty much discovered Megan and now he's very quietly looking for her replacement," said the insider. "He hasn't decided if he's going to kill her off in the next movie, but he just wants to be prepared."

 

Of course, we are quoting from a magazine that is basically a tabloid, so the truth behind any of this is questionable at best.  Whether or not Megan Fox will die in the first few minutes of Transformers 3 is entirely up in the air right now.  I just wanted to bring to your attention that the possibility was out there.  After the horribleness of Transformers 2, the only thing that could possibly make me want to go back to see more of this in the theater (other than a lobotomy or about a dozen shots of Tequila in a row) would be the opportunity to see the main human characters get killed off in completely gruesome and painful ways.

 

Personally, I would argue that killing off Megan Fox isn't going far enough.  Kill Shia La Beef as well.  Kill off his parents too and their annoying dog.  Kill off every human that has ever appeared in either of the films.  Then, when that's done, the fourth film in the series can be what I've always dreamed of from the beginning.  A fully CG'd Transformers film that takes place entirely on Cybertron, where no human ever has, or ever will step foot on.  That's all I really want.  I don't think that's asking to much, do you?