Pat's Movie Review - The Spirit

 

Anyone who's been reading this site for a while now knows that I've been pretty much expecting The Spirit to suck for quite some time now.  Initially, I had high hopes for the film.  But as the trailers came out and I read interviews and saw more footage of the film, I began to feel that Frank Miller was confused as to the kind of film he was making.  Visually, the film looks very much like Sin City did with it's black and white color palette.  However, every line of dialogue from the trailers sounded corny or cliched, like it was almost a parody of a comic book film.  I couldn't tell what to make of The Spirit from it's marketing campaign, which is something I usually take to be a bad sign.  If a film can't be clear about what it is in its advertisements, chances are it doesn't really know what it is.

 

Having seen The Spirit now, I can tell you that the film definitely knows for sure what it is.  And the answer is it's a campy noir superhero spoof. 

 

I realize that The Spirit is getting horrible reviews just about everywhere.  From major newspapers to random bloggers like myself, it seems that everywhere I look I find a negative review of The Spirit.  And while I can certainly see where the average movie going public would have a problem with this film, as a geek who grew up reading campy comic books, I can't help but like this film.  I've decided that to really be able to enjoy The Spirit, one has to look at it in the right context.

 

The Spirit is the story of a former cop named Denny Colt who was killed in the line of duty.  For reasons unknown to the audience at the beginning of the film, Denny had come back from the dead and now was stronger and faster than before.  He could also take a lot of punishment without getting seriously injured.  Having been a cop before he died, Denny (who now calls himself The Spirt) decides to work with the city's police commissioner to fight crime and to help out the police department.  Along the way we meet The Octopus (played by Samuel L. Jackson) who is the big bad guy in town, and is the Spirit's arch nemesis.  We also learn that the Spirit has a fondness for cats and pretty much falls in love with every woman he lays eyes on. 

 

The plot is fairly straightforward, the Spirit is on the trail of the Octopus as he is trying to steal something that will make him immortal, but it's accidentally stolen before he gets there by a thief named Sand Serif (Eva Mendes) who was actually trying to steal something else.  Sand and The Spirit go way back, but haven't seen each other in years.  The mix up with the stolen goods forces Sand and The Octopus to have to make a trade and The Spirit is caught in the middle. 

 

Now here's where that context I was talking about comes from.  I think the reason people are giving the film such bad reviews, and why it's performing so badly in the theaters (it only made $10 million in its opening weekend) is that people are going in expecting to see a different film than what they're getting.  This, I will admit, comes from director Frank Miller's choice to have the entire film shot in that Sin City-esque style of stark colors and artificial looking backgrounds.  People are seeing that and expecting a darker and more violent film.  But that's not what The Spirit is.  I understand why Frank Miller made the visual choice he did, but I think in the long run it is going to hurt him.  The film looks the way it does because The Spirit is at it's roots a noir crime story.  The costumes, the sets, they're all designed to inspire a nostalgic feeling for those old crime movies of the 40's and 50's.  At the same time though, the film is also spoofing those old films and is making a tongue-in-cheek homage to the genre that inspired the character.

 

Does the film have flaws?  Yes, it definitely does.  Is the visual style conflicting with the script?  Yes.  Is the acting horrible and over the top?  Yes.  But that's sort of the point.  The film isn't supposed to be taken too seriously.  It's a cheesy comic book film.  Much in the same way that the old 60's Batman TV show was both horrible and hilarious at the same time, so is The Spirit.  If you go into the film just looking for a fun time and don't overthink things, The Spirit can be a fairly enjoyable popcorn movie.  If you go in though expecting something dark and gritty like Sin City or the Dark Knight, you're going to be sorely disappointed.

 

The film has a stellar cast.  Gabriel Macht is perfectly cast as the square jawed fast talking superhero The Spirit.  All of the women in the film are absolutely gorgeous cookie cutter femme fatale characters, and Sam Jackson delivers one of the hammiest performances he's ever done.  To me though, the stand out actor in the bunch was Dan Lauria.  You may not know his name, but you'd recognize him if you saw him.  He played the dad on The Wonder Years.  Anyways, Dan Lauria plays police commissioner Dolan, and he turns in an amazing performance as an old school, tough talking, big city cop.  He's absolutely great in the role.  This man needs to be given a retro cop TV series to star in.  I'd watch it. 

 

While the script does have a lot of problems, there were a number of moments that I absolutely loved in the film.  There's a ton of comic book references, including a laugh out loud reference to the tagline of the first Superman Movie "You will believe a man can fly".  Ok, so I was the only person in the theater laughing out loud at that line, but that's only because I was probably the only die hard comic book geek in the audience.

 

This film isn't for everyone, I know that.  Almost everyone in the average moviegoing crowds are going to hate it, but that's because they don't get it.  Much like the live action Speed Racer movie that came out over the summer, The Spirit is a very stylized, yet incredibly faithful adaptation of the material it is based on.  As a result, only a small niche group is going to like it.

 

I did realize one thing while watching the film.  Frank Miller took a movie studio's multi million dollar investment and turned it into what he must dream about at night when he sleeps.  The Spirit is very much like watching a two hour version of one of Frank Miller's wet dreams.  But looking at the stunningly beautiful women he has in the film (Scarlett Johansson, Eva Mendes, Sarah Paulson, Paz Vega, Jaime King) and how gorgeous they look in it, let it never be said that Frank Miller doesn't have amazing taste.

 

Final Grade:  B

A Geek-tastic Update

 

 

I'm on vacation this week, and as a result the postings here to Geek-tastic are going to be shoddy at best.  I'll try to post things here and there as I come across amusing stuff on the internet, but I'm going to be busy playing Left 4 Dead and Dead Space all week. 

 

To keep you entertained in the meantime, here's one of my favorite youtube made music videos.  The song is a remix of Fett's Vette which is written and performed by the great nerd rapper MC Chris.  The video was made by some dude with way too much free time on his hands, using footage from the MMO game Star Wars Galaxies.

 

Enjoy!  Ok, now back to video games for me.

Mac Vs. PC

 

 

The Mac vs PC debate has raged on and on for many years amongst computer users.  Then came the commercials with John Hodgeman and Justin Long.  Now comes this.

 

It was only a matter of time I suppose, until computers evolved to the point where they could transform and fight each other.  Now, finally we will find out who is superior.  Mac or PC?

The Popcorn Mafia

 

My good friend, and occasional Geek-tastic contributor, Robert Magness is this week's guest host for a really great podcast series called the Popcorrn Mafia.

 

The Popcorn Mafia is a film centric podcast that is hosted by Grae Drake and Gariana Abeyta.  Each episode they have a guest host join them as they discuss the latest film releases in theaters.  They do reviews, upcoming movie news, and even discuss the latest trailers that have come out.  The show is a lot of fun to listen to.  We here at geek-tastic highly recommend giving it a listen.

 

This week's episode can be found here.  In the podcast Grae, Gariana and Robert review both the original and the new versions of The Day The Earth Stood Still and they discuss the new Wolverine trailer and the trailer for Race to Witch Mountain.

 

To check out other podcasts from this great show, be sure check out their archive section at their website, www.popcornmafia.com

How The Rorschach Stole Christmas

 

 

Oh wow, I don't even know how to introduce this.  Whoever did it is a mad genius.  They're truly insane, demented and sick, but also brilliant and inspired. 

 

They've taken Dr. Seuss' The Grinch That Stole Christmas and have turned it into an amazingly hypnotic story starring Rorschach from the Watchmen.  Unfortunately, there's no video to be had.  There's just the static image of Rorschach holding a gigantic bag of goodies, but the story is really worth listening to.  It's a little long, it's over 9 minutes, but it's definitely worth sticking around until the end.

 

The basic story involves Rorschach as he goes around stealing the drugs and the booze and the weapons from the pimps, whores and crack dealers of the city.  And the narrator does a really good job of capturing the gruff and gritty voice of Rorschach.

 

It's a shame there's no video to go along with this story though, I would absolutely love to see someone create an animated film that goes along with this story.

 

Merry Christmas from Geek-tastic!!!  I hope you are having a great holiday.

Guess What Fox Pictures Got For Christmas

 

Santa was very good to the folks over at Fox Pictures this year.  Under their tree this morning they found an amazing gift indeed.  For Christmas they got the complete distribution rights to the Watchmen movie.

 

In a suprising turn of events, the judge presiding over the lawsuit between Fox Pictures and Warner Bros over who exactly has the rights to release a film based on Alan Moore's comic masterpiece has reversed an earlier decision he made which said the case was complicated enough to require a trial to figure out.  Now he's saying he has an answer, and Warner Bros are not going to like the answer.

 

“Fox owns a copyright interest consisting of, at the very least, the right to distribute the ‘Watchmen’ motion picture,” the ruling said.

 

In other words, this means Warner Bros is totally screwed.  They now find themselves in the difficult position of having invested hundreds of millions of dollars on a project that is now legally up to Fox whether it ever sees the light of day.  I highly doubt the film won't be released.  Fox would have to be retarded not to want a film released that is guaranteed to be a big money maker for them.  The only real question at this point is how exactly Warner and Fox will work together to release the film.

 

In ruling on Wednesday, Judge Feess advised both Fox and Warner to look toward a settlement or an appeal.

 

“The parties may wish to turn their efforts from preparing for trial to negotiating a resolution of this dispute or positioning the case for review,” he said.

 

Fans around the world will now sit with our collective breaths held as we wait for the next step in this case.  Will the film come out?  Will it not?  Will we all have to picket the Fox studios and burn the place down if they deny us the opportunity to watch what could easily be the greatest comic book film of 2009?  I sure hope not.

It's The Sled That Made The Mountain Run In Less Than 12 Parsecs

 



 

I don't live somewhere where it snows (which is sad, I know), but if I did live where it snowed I would totally buy this super-cool Millennium Falcon Sled.

 

Sadly, it is only big enough to fit one person at a time, so you can't go riding down the hill with a wookie co-pilot, but at least you can glide down the mountain in geeky style, shouting out Star Wars quotes as you fly past people.

The Spirit.....Of Christmas

 

 

Typically, I'm not a big fan of G4 or the stuff they create.  More often than not they're usually making fun of geeks (their fanbase) and insulting them as opposed to glorifying what it means to be a geek.  I can't say that I really have a problem with that kind of comedy really.  I respect their ability to do it, I just don't usually care to be mocked by the things I watch is all.

 

However, the above clip was so good I had to share.  It's a fake trailer for a parody film called The Spirit of Christmas.  It takes the visual style of Frank Miller's The Spirit movie, as well as moments from the trailer, and it mocks the hell out of it by turning it into a Christmas movie.

 

I think my favorite line was Santa saying, "Somebody bring me a hat, and it sure as hell had better be red!"

 

(Via ToplessRobot)

How Well Do You Know Your 80's Cartoons?

 

You folks know how much I love a good geeky quiz, and the folks over at Mental Floss have gone and created another great one.  This time it's all about 80's cartoon shows.  Don't be fooled by the above image though, there are no Danger Mouse questions to be found anywhere in the quiz (sadness).

 

I managed to score a 13 out of 15 on the quiz.  Beat that bitches!!!

 

For those curious, I missed the Care Bears question and the Rainbow Brite question.

That's a Helluva Lot Of White LEGO Pieces

 

I've always been a fan of LEGO's.  There's just something about the little plastic bricks, and the fact that you can do a billion different things with them, that makes me happy.

 

Take for example, the above pictures.  Flickr user Brickplumber has posted up an amazing piece of LEGO art, which recreates the epic Battle of Hoth from The Empire Strikes Back.

 

Using 60,000 lego pieces, the artist has recreated Echo base in loving detail (complete with lighting) as well as the trenches outside and the incoming Imperial Walkers. 

 

Be sure to check out the gallery for more amazing photos from this project, including numerous close up shots that give a better view of the detail included with this piece.

 

(Vie Geekologie)

New Geek DVD Day - 12/23/08

Ok, this week is really weak for geek DVD releases.  Seriously, only one really geeky thing came out.  Otherwise it's all generic movies that the mainstream audiences went to see.  Due to this, we're not having the typical three categories this week of The Good, The Badass, The Awesome.  Instead, we're changing things up to The Gawd Awful, The Good and The Awesome.

 



 

The Gawd Awful:  Siegfried & Roy - Masters of the Impossible

 

Why It's Gawd Awful:  Wait, what?  How the hell did this ever get made?  Two guys who did cheesy magic shows in Vegas got an animated show?  Who thought this would ever sell?  I've got so many questions about this.  First off, who would ever want to watch this?  Secondly, it was made in 1996, why is it now (12 years later) getting put on DVD?  Is there that big of a demand for this show on DVD?  Really?

 



 

The Good:  Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - On Blu-ray

 

Why It's Good:  It's Johnny Depp playing Hunter S. Thompson.  Do you really need more?  Ok, how about great dialogue, hilarious scenes, and Johnny Depp beating away imaginary bats with a fly swatter?  There's also a great look at classic Las Vegas, which I'm always a fan of.  This film is one we should all see.

 



 

The Awesome:  Resident Evil - Degeneration

 

Why It's Awesome:  Following along the lines of Final Fantasy: Advent Children, Capcom has released a full length CG movie based on the Resident Evil franchise.  As opposed to the live action films starring Milla Jovovich, this film actually follows characters from the games and falls more in line with the game's stories and timelines.  Just check out the trailer.  Even if you're not a fan of Resident Evil itself, chances are you'll dig watching a film about a zombie invasion in an Airport.

It's All About The Marathon's Baby!

 

One of the fun perks of the Christmas season are the needlessly long marathons most TV stations put up either the day before, or the day of the holiday.  They know viewers aren't watching for the most part, so the programmers just say "Fuck it, we'll run the same show all day".

 

If you go here you'll find a great listing of all of the marathons that will be running on television over the next few days.  To help you out though, I've gone through and weeded out all of the crap programs we geeks don't care about and have created a mini, geek-centric list.  I hope this helps you get through the next few days with your family.

 

Christmas Eve

 

• Spike TV:  James Bond Films


• Sci-fi Channel:  Scariest Places on Earth


• Discovery Science:  Discovery Project Earth/Ghost Hunters

 

Christmas Day

 

• Sci-fi Channel: Star Trek - The Next Generation


• Discovery Channel:  Mythbusters


• History Channel:  UFO Files


• Discovery Science:  How It's Made


• And (0f course) TBS will be playing A Christmas Story all day long

 

The Day After Christmas

 

• Nicktoons:  Avatar - The Last Airbender


• Sci-fi Channel:  Highlander - The Series


• History Channel:  UFO Hunters

 

 

(Via PopCandy)

The Land Of The Lost

 

Over the weekend I headed out to the movies.  I didn't really see anything particularly geeky while there, so I won't be reviewing anything this week.  However, while at the theater I did see this totally awesome poster for the movie version of Land of the Lost that is coming out next June.

 

I can't help but look forward to this movie.  I grew up watching the Land of the Lost on TV.  It's a guilty pleasure, I know.  The show was so horribly awful and  cheesy it went past the point of being bad and went all the way to hilariously awesome. 

 

To a 6 or 7 year old Pat, this show had it all.  Action and adventure, stop motion dinosaurs, dudes in cheap Sleestak costumes.  It really did make for good times.  For those of you who never watched the show show from the 70's, you can learn about it here. Yes, there was a remake of the show in the 90's, but that show was crap. Let us never speak of it again.

 

The show's intro is an absolute gem all by itself.  Just watch it yourself if you don't believe me.

12 Droids A Dancing

 

Seriously, what is cooler to get on the 12 day of Christmas?  Would you rather have 12 drummers drumming or 12 droids a dancing?  Sure, I suppose if you're a hippie who loves a good drum circle you may choose the drummers, but if you're reading this site...chances are you're a geek and you're choosing the droids.

 

So here you go.  12 interactive R2-D2 robots dancing to the theme from the Mos Eisley Cantina.  I happen to own one of these droids (not one of the particular droids featured in the video, just one of the same toy line) and the dance program is indeed as fun as it looks.  Be warned though, the R2 droids were programmed a little too well.  R2's infamous attitude is definitely on display with these things.  I actually got into a bit of an argument with mine last week, and the feisty little bucket of bolts won.

 

(Via Geekdad)

The One Christmas Tree Guaranteed To "Exterminate" The Holiday Blues

 



 

This Dalek Christmas Tree makes me giddy with nerdy pride at the same time that it makes my brain hurt.  If there is one alien species that is absolutely positively guaranteed not to celebrate any kind of joyous holiday, it's the Daleks. 

 

For those of you unfamiliar with the Daleks, they're from the great sci-fi show Dr. Who.  They're a race of beings who have been genetically altered to not feel any emotions whatsoever except hatred and anger.  They believe all other emotions to be unworthy of sentient life forms and have worked hard to eradicate them from all other living things.  The see themselves as the universe's superior race and believe all other races should be either turned into Daleks or they are exterminated.

 

So...yeah...they're the perfect alien race to turn into a Christmas tree.

 

(Via IO9)

Just Another Muppet Monday - The Holiday Episode (Part 5)

 

Happy Holidays everyone, and welcome to another great week at Geek-tastic!

 

This week, of course, is Christmas, and as such postings on the latter half of this week may be a little sparse, but I will do my best to try to post at least one or two things a day.  I'm also going to be on vacation all next week, so the postings here won't be at their regular levels until after New Years.  Sorry folks, but I badly need a break.

 

Never fear though, the new year is almost upon us, and some exciting things will be happening here at Geek-tastic.  Just be patient.

 

This week also brings us to the conclusion of the Muppet Family Christmas.  The greatest christmas special ever in my opinion.  I hope you've enjoyed it!

The Week In Geek - 12/19/08

This week on Geek-tastic, we learned the following:

 

• I really didn't much care for the remake of The Day The Earth Stood Still.


• The new trailer for X-Men Origins: Wolverine looks pretty damn cool.


• Whoever had the idea to remake The Crow needs to be shot.


• The Watchmen trial has been delayed.


• Kevin Conroy will once again be voicing the Batman, but this time it will be in video game form.


• The live-action Avatar: The Last Airbender movie is racist.


• I've begun writing a new weekly article for GeekRoundTable.

Geek Item Of The Week

 

The R2-D2 Aquarium

 

Just look at it and behold its greatness.  An aquarium that comes inside the body of an R2 unit.  Oh the nerdy glory! 

 

The Droidquarium (term Copyrighted by Geek-tastic right now at this moment) measures in at 20" H x 14" W x 14" D.  It holds 1.75 gallons of water and it weighs nine pounds.  It also has some rather cool features.

 

The domed head rotates with any vocal command you issue and he utters his familiar "bleeps" from the Star Wars movies. His radar eye houses the eyepiece to a built-in periscope that provides an intimate view of the aquatic activity below, allowing you to watch your charges swim towards the food you've dropped in from the dome's removable feeding door. Includes filter and overhead LED tank lights that randomly morph between red, blue, and green (lights can be disabled). Includes a two-sided waterproofed cardboard insert depicting scenes from the movie as a background.

 

I'm not even a big fish owning person, but I totally want one of these.

All Gamers Share An Unspoken Gamer Telepathy

 

 

Thanks go to my good friend Tony for pointing out this brilliant X-box commercial to me.  It really is great.  If only life were that cool.  I'd love to participate in an event like this.

 

The commercial also reminded me of the great fake gunfight scenes from Spaced, in which Tim and Mike teach Brian about the unspoken male telepathy that all men share.

The Second Greatest Music Video Of All Time

 

There are way too many awesome things that take place in Cyndi Lauper's music video for her song "The Goonies 'R' Good Enough" than is possible to ever completely list.  Aside from being the Goonies theme song (which is super rad already), the music video they made for the video is the most insane, nonsensical, wacky, outrageous, brilliant video you will ever see.  I say that it is the second greatest music video of all time only because it is second to Michael Jackson's Thriller.  Although, it really is almost a tie in my mind.

 

Where do I even begin in trying to explain the greatness of this video?  It starts off with Cyndi and her "family" running a gas station, but they're in debt and the station is about to be taken from them by evil creditors.  Her father, once again played by WWF wrestler Captain Lou Albano (who also played Mario on the Super Mario Brothers Super Show), laments his financial woes to a picture of his "great great grandfather Captain One-eyed Pegleg booze guzzling mean Lou Albano" (which is a picture of Captain Lou in a cheesy pirate outfit).  Captain Albano apparently had a fortune of pirate treasure, but no one knows where it is.

 

Then the evil creditors show up, and they're played by WWF wrestlers "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, The Iron Shiek and wrestling legend "Classie" Freddie Blassie.  Arguing starts between Roddy and Captain Lou, and then for no reason whatsoever WWF wrestler Nikolai Volkoff rides by on the back of a truck as he's milking a fake cow and singing a song in Russian.  Then WWF female wrestlers The Fabulous Moolah and Wendy Richter start arguing and a bunch of Japanese chefs start cooking food from nowhere.

 

Perhaps in an attempt to get away from this craziness, Cyndi starts packing up the gas station that they're about to lose.  As she takes down the painting of Captain Albano though, she sees a huge gaping hole behind it.  She decides to explore this discovery and finds herself in a hidden cave where she finds a pirate skeleton with a map to the treasure.  All of this is helpfully explained for us by helpful subtitles that pop up and explain what things are as they appear on screen.

 

Now, just with the above stuff, this video already ranks as one of the craziest and coolest things ever, but we're only about 3 and a half minutes into this video, and it's 12 minutes long. 

 

Now comes quite possibly the best part of the video.  With no explanation whatsoever, and quite literally appearing out of thin air, the entire cast of the Goonies shows up in the cave.  Yep, that's right.  Corey Feldmen, Sean Astin, the kids who played Data and Chunk.  Hell, even Martha Plimpton and Josh Brolin are there.  And they've got a map too, so they start working with Cyndi to find the pirate gold.

 

Then, jsut to get the point across that this is a movie tie-in, tons of clips from the movie are played.  It's like a mini trailer for the film within the video.

 

The wrestlers then show up and kidnap the Goonies.  Cyndi is chased off by some pirates, and then there's lots of running around down in the caves.  Somewhere along the way, the wrestlers find some pirate outfits and swords and they begin chasing Cyndi.  As she's running, she finds that the mysterious japanese chefs are now somehow down in the caves too (complete with their hibachi grill).  She stops for a second to grab some food, and then the chase is on again.

 

Cyndi then finds herself on a set from the film  You know the one, where there's a wood log over a raging river.  It's from the scene where Data uses his slick shoes.  Anyways, Cindy finds herself surrounded on both sides.  To one side are the pirate WWF wrestlers, to the other are the pirates from the caves.  Not able to handle the pressure, Cyndi sits down on the log and starts crying.  She then breaks the fourth wall and cries out to Stephen Speilberg for help.

 

The camera at that point cuts away from the action to an editing room where none other than Stephen Speilberg himself is watching the footage of the music video.  He turns to the camera and says he doesn't know how to help her.  And then a narrator kicks in and the first half of the video closes to a cliff hanger ending.

 

Yes...you heard that right.  The music video has a cliffhanger ending halfway through it.  Name me one other music video EVER that has one too.  You can't!  You wanna know why?  There aren't any, that's why!  This is the only video ever with a cliff hanger in the middle of it.

 

As the video comes back, the narrator brings us up to speed.  Cyndi has been taken prisoner and we're now on the set of One-eyed Willie's ship from the Goonies film.  The pirates and the Wrestlers are getting along and working together.  Cyndi is forced to do manual labor, and her family is tied to the ship's mast.  We also find out that the Goonies have been chained up and are on the ship as well.  Things are looking pretty bleak for our heroes.

 

Then the octopus that was originally cut from the Goonies movie shows up and a giant tentacle starts to strangle Cyndi.  As she grabs a sword and starts to cut away at it, we see some new pirates on the ship.  These pirates are fairly young attractive women, and if you look closely enough, you'll realize that they're played by another 80's musical group...the Bangles.  Yes, the same Bangles who gave us such songs as Manic Monday and Eternal Flame are now dancing around in pirate garb with WWF wrestlers.

 

I believe we've just achieved possibly the greatest moment in musical awesomeness ever.  The Bangles, a bunch of WWF wrestlers, the Goonies, and Cyndi Lauper are all together on One-Eyed Willie's boat dancing and singing the Goonies Theme song.  They may possibly be too much awesomeness for me to handle all at once.

 

Luckily though, Cyndi's family and the Goonies escape from their bonds and the tide is turned against the evil pirates.  And then the treasure is found.  Some more movie clips are shown for no reason at all, some of the treasure is thrown to the Pirates to distract them.  As they're fighting over the greasure, Cyndi and the Goonies make their escape.  They get back to the gas station where Cyndi gives a bunch of the treasure to the evil creditors (who I guess aren't the same people as the wrestler pirates afterall, that's weird).  The wrestlers don't like the treasure though, and they turn down her offer of it.

 

In desperation, Cyndi whistles and out of an explosion of smoke comes Andre The Giant who is wearing a sort of Conan The Barbarian outfit, but with bright blue boots on.  Andre then proceeds to beat up all of the other wrestlers and runs them off from the gas station. 

 

As he leaves, Roddy Piper can be heard complaining about Stephen Speilberg and Richard Donner (the video's director).  Roddy's mad because, and I quote, "The video wasn't supposed to end this way!"

 

Once they're gone, Andre The Giant joins Cyndi and her family as they celebrate.  They've run off the wrestlers, stolen the pirate gold, and live happily ever after.  Although I'm confused as to why, if Cyndi could call up Andre The Giant whenever she wanted just by whistling, why didn't she do that at the beginning of the film?

 

But there I go again, trying to make sense of things that never will, no matter how much I try.  I should just shut up and enjoy the video for what it is,  the most insane music video that has ever (or will ever) be made.  God bless it!

The Best News You'll Hear Today

 

I've mentioned before how I'm a bit worried about Tim Burton's upcoming film adaptation of Alice In Wonderland. Specifically, I'm worried that he'll turn Wonderland into the same dark, gothic, Halloweentown setting he pretty much uses in all of his films.

 

Well, even if that happens and the film totally sucks balls, there will still be one thing I'm excited about. Alan Rickman will be the voice of the Caterpillar!

 

The caterpillar is pretty much my favorite character from Alice In Wonderland.  He's snarky, condescending and arrogant and his hookah pipe always fascinated me as a kid.  I'm also a huge fan of Alan Rickman.  If there's any actor out there who can totally nail the required amounts of sarcasm and arrogant condescension required to play the caterpillar, it's Rickman.  His voice is perfect for the character.

 

If nothing else about this film is good at all, I'm still going to absolutely love any scene Rickman's Caterpillar is in.

The Spirit Gets Bad Reviews (Why Am I Not Suprised?)

 

As I had feared, Frank Miller's new film The Spirit is starting to see the first reviews come in and...well...let's just say they're not too good.  Variety has posted up a rather disparaging review of the film that certainly makes me even more worried to see it than I was before.

 

A slain cop is resurrected as a masked crime-fighter in "The Spirit", but Frank Miller's solo writing-directing debut plunges into a watery grave early on and spends roughly the next 100 minutes gasping for air. Pushing well past the point of self-parody, Miller has done Will Eisner's pioneering comicstrip no favors by drenching it in the same self-consciously neo-noir monochrome put to much more compelling use in "Sin Sity". Graphic-novel geeks will be enticed by the promise of sleek babes and equally eye-popping f/x, but general audiences will probably pass on this visually arresting but wholly disposable Miller-lite exercise.

 

Ouch.  That's not good to hear at all.  But that's not it.  It gets worse.

 

The question of how Colt acquired his powers is meant to propel the story forward, but an air of inconsequence sets in almost immediately with the first mano-a-mano clash between the Spirit and the Octopus, neither of whom seems capable of destroying the other. Barely 15 minutes in, the sense of anticlimactic overkill is palpable.

 

There's a lot going on here, but none of it sticks -- not the shopworn plotting nor the arch, stilted dialogue. The actors often seem to be delivering their lines in ironic quote marks, suggesting a straight-faced sendup of noir and comicbook conventions that, whatever the intended effect, falls mostly flat.

 

The Spirit himself doesn't supply much of a rooting interest; Macht's role is colorless in more ways than one, and we see more of the actor's nicely sculpted torso than his face (most bigscreen heroes have the decency to take off their masks once in a while).

 

Ok, so based on this review and some of my own thoughts from watching the trailers I've started to prepare myself for what I will be watching next weekend.  It sounds to me like the film is in the tone of the 1960's Adam West Batman TV show, but with the visual style of Sin City.  This isn't necessarily a bad thing.  I don't think it's the most intelligent creative decision that could have been made, but I suppose it could have been worse.  I doubt the film will be as bad as Batman and Robin was.

 

I just am worried that the decision to make it look like Sin City is going to draw people to it expecting to see the gory R rated violence that is associated with that film.  That's just not what they're going to get here.  Oh well, I guess we'll find out.  I'll definitely be reviewing The Spirit once I've seen it.

Majel Barrett-Roddenberry R.I.P.

 

Unfortunately, I have some more truly sad geek news to report today.  Majel Barrett-Roddenberry, wife of the deceased Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry, has passed away at the age of 76.  She had been fighting Leukemia for a few years now and sadly lost her battle this morning.

 

It was only a week ago today that I posted about how happy I was that JJ Abrams had the sense to cast Mrs. Barrett-Roddenberry in his new Star Trek movie, but now comes the news that she has has passed on from this world, and now I am very sad.

 

She was the indisputable queen of Star Trek, appearing as multiple characters over the course of several different shows.  In the original Star Trek series she was the original first officer in charge of the USS Enterprise in the pilot episode.  She then went on to paly Nurse Chapel throughout the series.  In The Next Generation she played Deanna Troi's mother Lwaxana.  She is also the only person to work on every single Star Trek TV show as well as several of the movies, where she appeared as the voice of just about every computer in the Star Trek universe.

 

Her final work will be once again as the voice of the USS Enterprise's computer in the new Star Trek movie that will reboot the franchise for the 21st century.  While I am definitely glad that she was able to provide her voice for the film and that audiences everywhere will get to hear her familiar voice one last time, I am saddened that we will never again get to hear her again. 

 

She will definitely be missed.  May she rest in peace, alongside her husband.

 

(Vie GeekDad)

New Article Stuffs - The Weekly What's Cool

 

Just so you know, I've started writing a new weekly column for the GeekRoundTable website.  It's called Pat's Weekly What's Cool and each week I will point out one or more things I think are really cool and which I hope others will find cool too.

 

To see this week's first article in the series, you can check it out here.

 

The above picture, by the way, has absolutely nothing to do with what this week's article is about.  I just thought the idea of Stormtroopers at a bar was hilarious.

10 Worst Sci-Fi Remakes

 

Continuing on with this week's loose theme of how the remake of The Day The Earth Stood Still was really crappy, here's a fun list I found on IO9 that points out the 10 Worst Science Fiction Remakes that have been made.

 

Included on the list are such gems as Tim Burton's remake of Planet of the Apes, The Island of Dr. Moreau and of course the American remake of Godzilla...just to name a few.

 

It's a fun read and at the same time is a sobering reminder of just how hard it seems to be to make a good sci-fi film in the first place, let alone a good remake.

The Sexual Revolution...In Cartoon Form

 

BBC radio has an interesting article up entitled The Sexual Revolution...In Cartoon Form that has a very brief overview of the history of comic and cartoon characters that have changed the world's view of women and our perceptions of femininity.  Since it is a BBC article I must admit that a number of the characters discussed are British comic characters I'm unfamiliar with, however there are a number of characters even a non British audience will recognize, such as Betty Boop, Wonder Woman and Tank Girl.

 

Accompanied by her faithful kangaroo Booga and her various cohorts, Tank Girl partied, plundered, rioted, and stuck two fingers up at the establishment.

 

The tank she drives is also her home. When first introduced she undertook missions for a nebulous organisation, but after a series of mistakes was declared an outlaw.

 

Tank Girl is not your average heroine. She is a tough, no-nonsense, hard-drinking, chain-smoking, shaven-headed feisty character. However her attitude is all part of her appeal and charm and today she is recognised as a lesbian icon.

 

The strip was initially set in a stylised post-apocalyptic Australia and her creators Jamie Hewlett and Alan Martin described her as "Mad Max designed by Vivienne Westwood". The comic's style was heavily influenced by punk visual art.

 

Unfortunately, the article isn't anywhere near as in depth as it could be, but as a promo piece it does its job.  The article is actually a promo for a radio show on BBC Radio 4 called Drawn To Be Wild.  Unfortunately, I couldn't seem to find the archived radio show because the BBC's iplayer only holds shows on its site for seven days and the show originally aired back on December 11th.  So it looks like the show has been taken down already, which is a shame because I would have loved to listen to it. 

 

If anyone else can find the show online somewhere, let me know.

 

Lack of the radio show aside, the article still brings up an excellent point that I think generally gets overlooked.  Comics have been a big force behind the women's liberation and the feminist movements.  Yes, they still do tend to be heavily male centric, and there's that whole Women in Refrigerators thing to worry about, but on the whole I believe comics have done more good than harm.  A character like Wonder Woman, who even though she started off as a bondage pin-up girl, has gone on to become a symbol of female strength and independence.  And she's not the only one. 

 

Aside from those mentioned in the article, what other characters do you think have been empowering to women?

The Avatar Movie Is Racist (And Doomed)

Last week, casting choices were announced for the live-action Avatar: The Last Airbender movie that is to be directed by M. Knight Shyamalan, and the news isn't good.  In fact, it's so bad that it has the fans of the TV show starting up a letter writing campaign to get the casting choices changed.

 

The problem with the casting of the main characters?  The choices made appear to fans everywhere as racist.

 

The Avatar series is about a cast of multicultural characters as they travel around an ethnically diverse world that is heavily influenced by Asian culture.  The main character (The Avatar himself) is Asian.  His two closest friends are from an Inuit tribe at the South Pole.  They're being chased by an evil prince who also happens to be Asian.

 

So who gets casted to play this group of characters?  A bunch of white kids of course. 

 

So far, only the casting for the main four characters of the film have been announced.  Aang (The Avatar) will be played by an unknown martial arts student named Noah Ringer (who was discovered at a Texas casting call).

 



 

Aang's best friends Sokka and Kitara (the aforementioned Inuit people) will be played by Jackson Rathbone and Nicola Peltz respectively. 

 





 

And finally, the evil Prince Zuko will be played by Jesse McCartney.

 



 

Notice anything wrong with those casting choices?

 

How in the world M. Knight Shyamalan thinks he can make an Anime inspired show using an all white cast just completely blows my mind.  Do they really want this to turn out as badly as the Dragonball Z movie?  It's already a hard enough task you're setting yourself up for by trying to make a successful live-action adaptation of a beloved cartoon series, but when the very first step towards that action is completely panned by your core audience of fans...well I can only predict doom for this movie.

 

Fans of the show have already begun a revolt.  As mentioned earlier, a letter writing campaign (with the brilliant site name of "aang-aint-white")has been started to try to get the casting decisions changed, and fans are also flocking to message boards and fansites to vent their anger at the casting choices.

 

The article about this on IO9 has a number of excellent angry fan letters as examples of what kinds damning things the fans are saying.  Here's one example:

 

Acting ability aside, no it is NOT RIGHT. The Avatar animated series is mired with and 100% composed of Asian influences. The world, the cultures, the people, the costumes, the script, the belief systems, the references, the mythology - everything is Asian-or-Inuit based. Casting all-white actors to play roles that should go to fully capable Asian/PoC actors is insulting and discriminatory.

 

As for acting ability: I refuse - refuse - to believe that there are ZERO Asian and/or PoC and/or mixed-race actors to play these parts. It's a pathetic idea that only white kids were capable of acting and looking like all four main roles... I'm glad you think it's just a movie. Must be really nice to have such a life where you don't feel discrimination, and therefore cannot possibly conceive how it must feel to have something that clearly celebrates multiculturalism taken away from you. Great! Just don't tell me to 'chill out' because I'm angry. I can make my voice heard and I want to entreat others as well. So let us cute widdle PoCs make our cute little grr!fight and you can run along pretending racism is over, okay?

 

Way to go Paramount and Mr. Shyamalan.  In one fell swoop you've pissed off the vast majority of the built-in fanbase your movie would have had, and you've turn them against you.  Good job...idiots!

Two More Reasons I Want To Buy Batman: Arkham Asylum

 

Aside from the super cool looking game footage I posted about earlier, and the fact that the point of the game is you playing Batman as he wanders through the insane asylum beating the crap out of Gotham's looniest citizens, I now have two more reasons for us all to have to buy the upcoming video game Batman: Arkham Asylum.

 

1.  Kevin Conroy will be voicing Batman/Bruce Wayne the game.

 

2.  Mark Hamill will be voicing the Joker.

 

Those two points pretty much sell me on the game already.  They've gotten the difinitive voice actors for those two characters to step back into a sound booth and once again breathe life into the Caped Crusader and his arch enemy.  This is the best news I've heard all day.  Now I really can't wait for this game to come out.

 

(Via Joystiq)

Christmas Tree Star Destroyer

 

 

To go along with Josh's earlier post about the Cardboard Millenium Falcon, here's an awesome looking Star Destroyer that can double as a sort of sideways Christmas Tree.

 

It's so pretty and green.  What I find really amusing though is that the tree decorations are most likely turbolaser batteries that are used to kill rebel scum all across the galaxy.  That thought just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  Afterall, that's just the Empire's way of spreading good cheer to different alien species everywhere.

 

(Via Geekdad)

Watchmen Trial Delayed Two Weeks

 

It looks like we're going to have to wait a little longer to find out what's going to happen with the Watchmen movie.  The trial to decide whether the WB has the rights to release the film has been pushed back from January 6th to January 20th due to a scheduling conflict with the judge presiding over the case.

 

Judge Gary Allen Feess set the new trial date Monday, noting that he's required to handle a criminal matter on Jan. 6. He also refused to make a pre-trial summary judgment -- as requested by both sides -- because, he said, the contracts between Fox and "Watchmen" producer Larry Gordon are so open to interpretation that a trial is required.

 

In the meantime, the WB doesn't seem to be backing down from its set release date for the film (3/6/09).  Since the decision was made for the case to go to trial, they've put out new trailers and new posters and are continually leaking behind the scenes footage and some movie footage out onto the internet.  Fox, I'm sure, is none too pleased about this.

 

I'm still crossing my fingers here and hoping they can come to some sort of agreement.  I think fans everywhere will probably storm the Fox Pictures offices and burn the place to the ground if the film gets banned, and that would make me sad because then the kickass looking Wolverine movie will get delayed.

 

Damn you Fox Pictures!

New Muppets On NBC Tonight

 

 

Somehow, I only just now became aware of this (I blame the fact that I don't have cable) but The Muppets are going to have a new Christmas special that airs tonight on NBC at 8pm.

 

It's called A Muppet Christmas: Letters To Santa, and it's an hour long special that looks like it will star the entire Muppet Cast both old and new.  Check out the above clip for a preview of some of what you'll see.

 

Ooh, I'm excited now.  I'm going to have to find a way to watch this.

Millenium Falcon out of Carboard! :)

 

Nothing could be as geeky and nerdy at the same time as building your own Millenium Falcon out of some nicely placed cardboard slices.  The sounds effects are my favorite part of the video.

 

Enjoy! :)

The Stupidest Idea You'll Hear All Week

 

They're remaking The Crow.

 

Yeah, I know.  The stupidest thing I've heard all week.  Hell, the stupidest thing I've heard in months.

 

Stephen Norrington has signed on to write and direct a reinvention of “The Crow,” based on the comic created by James O’Barr.

 

Ryan Kavanaugh’s Relativity Media is negotiating with producer Ed Pressman to acquire the film franchise and finance the film.

 

Pressman produced the 1994 Alex Proyas-directed screen transfer, in which rock musician Eric Draven is murdered trying to rescue his girlfriend from thugs, and returns from the dead one year later to exact vengeance. Though the original became a gothic-style hit that grossed nearly $100 million worldwide, it is primarily remembered for a tragic accident in which star Brandon Lee was killed during filming.

 

Ok, I've got no problem with people remaking films from the 50's or 60's, but there is absolutely no need to remake a film that originally came out in 1994.  For god's sake, the film is only 14 years old.  What possible new take can you have on the character of the film that necessitates it getting made so quickly after the original was made?

 

I'll give Stephen Norrington his fair due credit for making the original Blade.  That film was the first really successful Marvel Comics film and is what paved the way for Spider-man and the X-men films getting film deals, which ultimately leads up to the glorious explosion of geeky comic book films we get to experience today.  To a degree, he started it.  The original Blade film was a rated R comic masterpiece that proved comics could be big box office players.

 

But let's not also forget that Norrington is also the man who brought us the amazing crapfest that was the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.  A film so bad he hasn't even directed another film since.  And now he want's to remake the Crow?  Not even taking into consideration the tragic death of Brandon Lee during filming, The Crow was a trendsetting film that was a major force behind the goth scene becoming mainstream in the 90's.  It was the first $100 million grossing picture I can think of that had a lead character wearing leather pants and doc martens and had a soundtrack that featured such dark industrial bands as Nine Inch Nails and My Life With the Thrill Kill Cult. 

 

I think the store Chain Hot Topic is only a success today because of the popularity of The Crow and the generation of little goth and punk kids it inspired (amongst which I will admit I was a part of).  And now, less than 15 years later there are plans to remake it.  And the vision the new director wants to take the film?  Well...just brace yourself.

 

Whereas Proyas’ original was gloriously gothic and stylized, the new movie will be realistic, hard-edged and mysterious, almost documentary-style,” Norrington told Daily Variety.

 

Oh dear god no.  Somebody, please, stop this man.  Where the hell is James O'Barr?  Can't he do something to put a stop to this, or has he already blown through all the cash he made from the original film, it's two god awful sequels, and the TV show that was so horrendously awful that not a single person on this entire planet could force themselves to sit through even a single full episode?

 

(Via Hero Complex)

New Geek DVD Day - 12/16/08

 

 

The Good:  The Mummy - Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

 

Why It's Good:  Ok, so by now I've accepted that no Mummy film will ever be as good as the first one with Brendan Frasier was.  That film had so many fun moments and great lines in it.  It was a throwback to the fun of classic adventure films.  Then came the second, god awful Mummy film.  However, the second film spawned a spinoff called The Scorpion King which I actually liked a lot.  It was a tongue in cheek barbarian film that reminded me a lot of the old Conan films.  It was a lot of fun to watch.

 

Now we have this, the third in the Mummy series.  Is it as good as the original?  No.  It it at least better than the second film?  I'd say yes.  And to be honest, I'd say it was more enjoyable to watch than the remake of The Day The Earth Stood Still.  So I suppose you could do worse than watching this.  It's got Brendan Frasier beating up Mummies.  That's at least good for a laugh.

 



 

The Badass:  Bottle Rocket (The Criterion Collection) on Blu-ray

 

Why It's Badass:  Director Wes Anderson's amusing tale about a group of friends who create an overly complex plan to rob a bookstore, this is the film that introduced us both to Anderson's unusual directing style that we would learn to love through films such as Life Aquatic and The Royal Tennenbaums as well as both Owen and Luke Wilson.

 

This new collection features a restored print of the film in high definition as well as commentary from Anderson and Owen Wilson, a making of documentary, eleven deleted scenes, the original 13 minute black & white short film the feature film is based on and much more. 

 



 

The Awesome:  Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog

 

Why It's Awesome:  I can explain why this is so awesome to you with only three little letters...N...P...H.  That's right, Neil Patrick Harris.  I don't know how he's done it, but NPH has gone from being the annoying kid actor who played Doogie Houser to being a bonafide nerd hero.  From his role as himself in the Harold & Kumar films to the always suited up awesomeness of Barney Stinson on How I Met Your Mother, NPH has redefined himself as both being cool and at the same time totally nerdy.  His role as Dr. Horrible just adds to that image.  Here he is, the maniacal supervillain who is just a total nerd at heart. 

 

Oh, and the whole thing was written by a guy you may have heard of before.  Joss Whedon.  He's the guy who created the Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Angel TV shows as well as the second most amazing sci0fi show to come out in the last 10 years...Firefly (sorry, Battlestar takes the #1 spot).  Then add in Nathan Fillion (the guy who played Captain Mal on Firefly) as the arrogant and full of himself hero Captain Hammer and the gorgeous Felicia Day (The Guild, The Legend of Neil) as the love interest and you have some amazing cast chemistry.

 

And the whole thing is a superhero.  Did I mention that yet?  Seriously, you can't get cooler than that.  Wait...I take that back.  Yes, you can get cooler than that.  Throw in an evil supervillain league named "The Evil League of Evil" that is lead by Bad Horse (the thoroughbred of sin) and other supervillains with awesome names like Fake Thomas Jefferson and Dead Bowie and you somehow manage to crank up the awesomeness factor of this show all the way past 11 and on towards 12.

Three Great Words Make For One Awesome T-Shirt

 

I think I've decided to make the theme here at Geek-tastic this week about how truly bad the Day The Earth Stood Still remake was.  And in line with this theme I offer you this awesome t-shirt that you can buy here.

 

Proudly emblazoned across the front of the shirt are three of the greatest words in geek history...Klaatu Barada Nikto (or if you're Ash from Army of Darkness: Klaatu...Barada...Nehumphehumehum).

 

Accompanied by a picture of the classic Gort robot, this shirt stands as a proud reminder of how awesome the original film was, and how crappy the remake was.  Nowhere in the remake did Keanu "clearly" say these three command words (yes, I'm aware he said it all muddled after he got shot, but that was lame) and giant robots don't turn into clouds of locusts. 

 

(Via IO9)

New Wolverine Trailer FTW!!!

 

So if you've read my review of The Day The Earth Stood Still you already know how disappointed I was when going to the movies last Saturday.  However, I do need to point out that my trek out to the cinema wasn't a total waste.  Before the horrible remake I was treated to a trio of awesome trailers that made up for some of what I would have to endure later.  The first two were trailers for Watchmen and Star Trek, which I've posted here before and discussed ad nauseum.  The third trailer was for X-Men Origins: Wolverine. 

 

Other than a recent Gambit post, I haven't really given this film much coverage here on Geek-tastic.  This is mainly due to the fact that I have fully been expecting this film to suck for some time now.  I must say though that after watching the trailer I may have to take back my earlier reservations.  The film looks like it could be pretty frakking sweet. 

 

No only do we get to see Wolverine in a number of flashback sequences that show him during events like WWII and the US Civil War (wearing a blue coat because of course Wolverine fought for the North despite the fact that he's totally from the south), but we also get to see The Blob, Deadpool, Sabertooth...and even Gambit looking pretty badass.

 

And then at the end Wolvering jumps a motorcycle off of a Hummer and hurls himself into a Helicopter.  Take that John McClane!!!

 

Check out the trailer for yourself and tell me what you think.  Oh, and for your viewing pleasure, here's two screen grabs I took from the trailer.  First up is the aforementioned Civil War Era Wolvie!

 



 

And here's WWII Wolvie!

 

Pat's Movie Review: The Day The Earth Stood Still

 

WARNING:  This review will contain some spoilers.  I will try to minimize the number of them, but there will be some in here.  Just so you know, before you start reading.

 

It's always hard to tell going into a remake of old sci-fi properties whether you're going to be seeing something cool or not.  Sci-fi remakes, as a whole, are hit and miss.  A lot of them tend to be very bad knockoffs of the original (Planet of the Apes) where you walk away wishing they hadn't wasted everyone's time by remaking a classic.  Occasionally though you'll get a truly incredible remake (Battlestar Galactica) where the new version takes what was great about the original property and expands upon it in new and interesting ways.

 

So it was that with an open mind and some high hopes I sat down to watch the new remake of the Sci-Fi classic The Day The Earth Stood Still.  I'm sad to say though that this is one of those films where you walk away wishing that they had left the original well enough alone.

 

For those of you who may have never seen the original, here's a quick plot synopsis: 

 

A UFO lands in the middle of Washington DC. An alien named Klaatu who looks completely human steps out of the ship to say hi and is promptly shot by scared US soldiers. Klaatu's bodyguard, who's a robot about 12 feet tall named Gort, then comes out and zaps a bunch of the soldiers weapons. Klaatu is taken to a hospital where he recovers. He says he has a message for all mankind and asks to speak to the leaders of the world. He's denied this by the US government, so he breaks out and wanders around trying to learn about mankind. He makes friends with a woman and her kid and he meets a professor. The professor gets together a grouping of the world's greatest scientists and they listen to Klaatu give a warning speech about how the other races of the galaxy are watching Earth, and if man can't get their stuff together and stop acting violently then they're going to send in a big police force of Gorts to wipe us all out.

 

The whole purpose of the original film was a warning message against the cold war and the need for a strong United Nations.  The idea was that humanity needs to work together as a people, or we're going to destroy ourselves.

 

 The new film starts off well enough.  An alien comes to earth in a giant glowing globe thing and it lands in the middle of Central Park (why does everything have to happen in New York nowadays?).  An alien steps out and is promptly shot by US soldiers.  Gort then comes out, looking totally badass as he's now a 30 foot tall robot (seriously, super cool).  The alien is then taken to a hospital and he recovers.  He has a message for the world's leaders, but the US government won't let that happen, so he breaks out.

 

So far so good, right?  Unfortunately though this is where the film starts to go off the rails and things start getting stupid.  Yes, the alien does make friends with a woman and her kid, and yes he meets a professor, but the interactions between these characters and what comes from them is badly written, melodramatic crap.

 

The woman Klaatu befriends is Jennifer Connelly, super scientist extraordinaire.  Her relationship with her son isn't as simple as it was in the first film though.  It turns out he's her step son, and the dad died before the film began, and he totally doesn't care for Jennifer.  The kid is so damned annoying during the whole film.  From his very first scene he's got an attitude and is totally disrespectful of the woman who is trying to take care of him.  In almost every scene he's in I found myself wishing someone would just slap the hell out of him and put him in his place.  He needed it, trust me.

 

About halfway through the film, the US military kidnaps Gort (who by the way are the ones who actually name him Gort) to try to study him.  And then in a turn of events that makes no sense whatsoever, the kickass giant robot breaks down into a swirling storm of metallic locusts that destroys everything it touches.  The swirling Gort mass then begins to spread out and starts a destruction rampage that is headed straight for New York.

 

While this is happening, Klaatu meets John Cleese who has an enjoyable cameo as the professor.  There's actually a great scene between them at a chalkboard that  to me was probably the best scene in the whole film.  However, Mr. Cleese is the only person aside from Jennifer and her kid that Klaatu ever ends up speaking to throughout the entire film.  No message is ever given to an amassed group of leaders.  No addresses are made to the public.  No one ever finds out why Klaatu was there except the main characters before the alien ship leaves.  If you stop and think about that last point, the whole purpose for the film falls apart. 

 

Klaatu came to earth to give a message.  I even liked the message he had to give this time around too.  His message is that mankind is killing the earth because they're stupid, the rest of the galaxy won't allow the earth to die because there are so few planets in the galaxy that can support life.  So if humans don't shape up and stop killing the earth, the rest of the galaxy's civilizations are going to wipe humans out and give our planet to someone else.

 

No one ever hears this message though.  As far as the rest of the world knows, an alien shows up, a giant cloud of stuff kills thousands, part of a city is destroyed, and then the aliens leave.  Only Jennifer Connelley, her kid and John Cleese know why Klaatu showed up in the first place.  The rest of the world is still convinced aliens have come to invade.  How the hell is that supposed to make the human race treat the earth better?  No wisdom was given to us.  No warnings or threats were made to the population at large.  Nothing happens that would make the world want to change its ways.

 

A lot of reviews I've seen have been placing a lot of the blame for the film's problems on its main actor Keanu Reeves, but I disagree with this.  I think he was an excellent choice to play the role of Klaatu and he did a wonderful job of portraying the character.  The problem with the film was the script.  Visually, the film was pretty.  The special effects were cool.  I liked the big glowy orbs as spaceships (although I know there are those who disagree with me on this) and when Gort first walked onto the screen I was actually amazed at how cool he looked.

 

The story made no sense at all though.  I could go on and nitpick the film to the nth degree if you want, but then this review will be even more obnoxiously long than it already is.  Suffice it to say that I saw no reason why Klaatu would change his mind near the end of the film and decide to spare humanity, the character of the kid was horribly annoying and Gort turning into a giant cloud of Locusts was the stupidest thing I've seen on film in a long time.

 

As a remake, whose goal should be to make a film at least as good as the original (if not better), the film fails.  The original is still far superior, which is a shame because the remake had some really good updates and ideas in it, but the execution was lacking and the overall film suffered for it.

 

Final grade for the film:  C

The 10 Most Disappointing Games of 2008

 

The month of December always seems to create a sort of "listmania" amongst the press.  Top 10 lists of the events of the preceeding year can be found about every topic imaginable.  We here at Geek-tastic shall do our best to weed out the typical lists and bring you only the most interesting and geek-related lists as the year 2008 comes to a close.

 

We shall begin with Wired's list titled The 10 Most Disappointing Games of 2008.  Looking back at all of the game releases of the last year, the list picks out the top games that failed to meet with the public's expectations.  These aren't necessarily bad games per se.  The list isn't titled "The 10 Worst Games of 2008".  No, these are the games that even though they may still be good, they were superhyped and greatly awaited, and upon arrival fell kind of flat. 

 

Here's an example of what I'm talking about:

 

2. Star Wars: The Force Unleashed (Xbox 360, PS3)

 

LucasArts sunk a bunch of development time into the physics and animation engines that powered what was supposed to be the awesomest Star Wars game ever. Throwing Stormtroopers off cliffs and destroying environments using Force power was supposed to be like living the movie, but instead it was an utterly pedestrian action game. The brief glimpses of fun that it offered were drowned out by a host of poor design decisions, and the ridiculous Imperial Star Destroyer segment was the very last straw. — Chris Kohler

 

Sadly, I have to agree with the above statement.  As much as I loved Force Unleashed (and I really did), it wasn't the greatest game of all time.  It was a fun, straightforward brawler with some amusing things you could do to Stormtroopers.  But it was hyped up by Lucasarts as the greatest thing since sliced bread, and it just didn't live up to its own press. 

 

Also on the list are games like Spore and Dead Space (another game I love a lot).  Do you agree with Wired's choices?  Think that there are any games that should be added to the list?  Let us know in the comments.

Just Another Muppet Monday - The Holiday Show (Part 4)

 

Welcome back to another week here at Geek-tastic.  Over the weekend the GeekRoundTable got together again to record the new few episodes of their podcast, so be sure to check out their website this week for updates.

 

We now find ourselves at part four of the Muppet Family Christmas.  Miss Piggy is still not at the house safely, and the blizzard is now in full effect.  Kermit, as usual, is worried.  To pass the time though, Kermit and Robin find a Fraggle hole in the basement and travel into it to see if they can find any Fraggles.

 

Do they find any?  Well...you'll just have to watch to find out.

The Week In Geek - 12/12/08

This week on Geek-tastic we learned the following:

 

• I reviewed Punisher: War Zone and absolutely loved it.


• Science Fiction keeps looking to the past to tell stories about the future.


• Awesome things are going up for auction that you can't afford.


• The Hoff loves Geek-tastic.


• The Hulk Vs. film looks cooler and cooler every time I see new footage of it.


• New Battlestar Galactica webisodes have begun airing.


• Superman can be a real dick sometimes.

The Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny

 

 

And thus another week draws to a close here at Geek-tastic.  We'll be back Monday morning with more geeky stuff for you to enjoy.  But before we go, let us end this week not with a whimper, but with a glorious geeky bang!

 

Many thanks go to The Mattman for finding this video and making me aware of its awesomeness.  I can't think of a higher note on which to end this week.  My only problem with the song is that we all know that nobody can ever beat Batman in a fight...and I mean no one.  So the ending is a little far fetched.  Other than that though, this video is 100% geeky glory!

Geek Item Of The Week

 

 

Shakespeare Bust With A Hidden Switch Under The Head

 

This is by far the coolest thing I've listed thus far on Geek Item of the Week!  For as long as I can remember I've wanted one of these.  Having grown up watching the old 60's Batman TV show, I always thought that Bruce Wayne's entrance to the Batcave was just about the most awesomest thing ever.  He would flip the head back on his Shakespeare bust, hit the button, the wall would slide back revealing two firemen's poles, he'd grab onto a pole and slide down into the Batcave fully suited up and ready for action.

 

Long have I dreamed about having something like that in my house.  I've actually talked about this with friends for years, that one day I would own a house that had such a switch that would reveal a firemen's pole down to the garage where I can get in my car and drive away.  Now someone is making exactly the bust that I need.

 

The downside is it's a little pricey ($315), but if you have the cash it's totally worth it.  Even if you don't use it for what I'd use it for, the thing has so many possible uses.  It can be hooked up to anything you want it to.  You could make the switch in Shakespeare's neck turn on the lights in the room, turn on a fireplace, turn on the TV, whatever you want!

 

One day, this will be mine.  Oh yes, it will be mine!

 

(Via BoingBoing)

The Hardest Nintendo Quiz You Will Ever Take

 

Mental Floss, a site known for its fun but usually difficult daily quizes, has posted up what is quite possibly the hardest old school Nintendo quiz I've ever taken in my entire life.  It's called Are You A Nintendo Historian?, and its a match up quiz where they give you the covers of ten classic NES games, along with ten vague game references.  You have to match which references go to which games.

 

Sounds easy, right?  Wrong.  The references they give you range from easy to "oh my god are you frakking kidding me?" difficult. 

 

I did manage to get an 8 out of 10 on the quiz, but it did take me a few minutes to wrack the dark recesses of my mind for information I haven't used in at least 15 years.

 

Take the quiz and post your scores in the comments below.  I'm curious as to how everyone else does as well.

Quite Possibly The Geekiest Thing I Have Ever Posted

 

Ok, so the above picture requires a little bit of explanation.  For those of you who have never seen Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, there's a scene where the crew of the Enterprise are hosting a diplomatic dinner with a number of Klingons (check out the youtube clip here).  As the dinner conversation progresses, the topic of Shakespeare comes up (as almost always happens when talking with Klingon's, am I right?).  The Klingon Chancellor Gorkin offers a toast in which he references a quote from Hamlet, Spock recognizes the quote, and then Gorkin says,  "You've not experienced Shakespeare until you're read him in the Original Klingon."  Then, General Chang says "To be or not to be" in Klingon, which for those of you who are curious goes a little something like this:

 

"taH pagh taHbe'!"

 

Now while the character in the movie may have been serious, the line of course was a joke for the human audiences watching the film.  But Star Trek fans, being the true geeks that they are, have taken this offhand joke and turned it into something truly and amazingly overdone.  First off, there's the book.  Someone actually took the time to translate the entire play of Hamlet into Klingon, and then they took it to a publisher and actually got it published.  I highly suggest checking out the book on Amazon.com.  You can look inside the first few pages of the book and get a true feeling for what Klingon Hamlet looks like.

 

And now news is coming out that someone has actually filmed scenes from Klingon Hamlet, and that these scenes will be included with the Blu-ray release Star Trek VI.  Wow...really?  Wow!  That's so geeky and awful I can't help but love it.  God damnit, now I need a Blu-ray player just so I can watch these scenes!

 

Also, that book cover is quite possibly the most awesome thing I've seen in a long time.  Klingon Hamlet holding the Skull of his friend Yorick in one hand, and a Bat'leth in the other is just too damned cool for word to describe.  And the skull even has Klingon forehead ridges on it!!!

 

(Via IO9)

Bettie Page R.I.P.

 

This is sad news today. Bettie Page, the famous/notorious 50's pin-up model has passed away.

 

Page was a ubiquitous sight during the 1950s, propelled to stardom when she posed for Playboy as Miss January 1955. Soon her image was gracing playing cards, record albums and bedroom posters across the country.

 

She stopped modeling in 1957, retreated from the public spotlight and turned to religion. She enjoyed a renaissance of sorts in the 1980s, as a new generation of fans became obsessed with her legacy.

 

Her agent, Mark Roesler, said Page was admitted to a Los Angeles-area hospital four weeks ago. She never regained consciousness after suffering a heart attack earlier this month.

 

Bettie Page was also a geek icon.  Her pin-up and bondage photos of the 50's and 60's have become defining images for both pulp and pop art as well as having a heavy influence on rockabilly and goth styles.  I can't even count the number of times I've seen her images for sale at comic con over the years.  And I don't believe there's a single self-defined geek either who hasn't, at some point in their life, admitted to finding Bettie Page hot.

 

The world is a sadder place without Bettie Page.  She was truly an original.  May she rest in peace.

Mashups Make For Strange Awesomeness

  

 

Typically, I'm not the biggest fan of mashups.  Sure, some are good and even downright clever, but most of them tend to be edited badly or are just not enjoyable to listen to.

 

That is not the case with this video.  Now, I know it's not exactly geeky per se, but there's something about this video that just seems to make me laugh.  It's a mashup between Lazytown (a Nickelodeon kids show) and gangsta rapper Lil Jon.  Maybe it's the strange dichotomy between the happy, bright and colorful kids show singing about cooking and the yelling and cussing of Lil John that I find funny.  The innocent mixed with the crass and the vulgar. 

 

Whatever it is, it's damned funny.  Be warned though, this video is NSFW, so be sure you've got headphones on if you're at work. 

 

Now if only I can get the damned song out of my head.

 

(Via Geekologie)

If Nothing Else, At Least They Will Have Gotten One Thing Right In The New Star Trek Movie

 



 

It looks like Leonard Nimoy won't be the only original castmember to be in the new Star Trek film.  The Sci-Fi channel is reporting that Majel Barret-Roddenberry will be coming back to be the voice of the Enterprise...or to be more specific, it's computer.

 

Barrett-Roddenberry--the widow of Trek creator Gene Roddenberry--started in the franchise as Number One in the pilot and as Nurse Christine Chapel in the original series. Since then, she has appeared in or provided the computer voice for all six Trek TV series--the only actor to be in all of them--and also voiced the computer in most of the movies. Star Trek opens in May 2009.

 

This news makes me very happy.  Having been a Star Trek fan as long as I have, you tend to sometimes forget some of the tiny little details that make the world you love so recognizable.  I hadn't even thought about Majel Barret and her contribution to the franchise, but now that I'm thinking about it I realize that nobody else should be the voice of the computers in the movie.   For over 30 years now she has been the voice of technology in Star Trek.  Her role in the overall saga may be small, but it's crucial.  Always having the same voice for the computers in all of the shows and the movies has been one of those tiny little touches that make the fans go, "Hey, I recognize that!" whenever they hear it.  It's kind of like The Wilhelm scream.  Once you've gotten used to one voice as the computers in Star Trek, you can't imagine any other person doing it.

 

The fact that JJ Abrams went out of his way to bring back someone for something that is so small in the overall scope of making a big hollywood film speaks highly to his commitment to make a film both Star Trek fans and non Star Trek fans will love.  It's a nice little shout out to the fans that says, "Hey, I know you guys are out there, and I'm trying to do right by you too."

 

Also, on a completely unrelated topic...what the hell is going on in this picture?

 



 

You know, there are just some things about James T. Kirk that I don't want to know.

Undead Barbie = Zombie Doll Awesomeness

 

Want to make your own undead Barbie (let's be honest, who doesn't really)?  Then go here and they've got instructions so that you too can make your very own corpsified Barbie doll.  The site also has a number of beautiful close up photos of this incredibly cool creation.

 

I only wish this was an official playset that came complete with a zombie Ken doll too.  Just imagine the set in stores..."It's Barbie's Graveyard Playset.  Complete with tombstones, open graves and even a mausoleum!  Victim dolls sold separately!"

 

Dude, even the logo they created is coo.

 

(Via Geekologie)

Old Watchmen Footage Is New Again

 

Once again, footage from the Watchmen movie has the internets all abuzz with geeky glory and this time the footage is actually a little old. 

 

Back at the end of July, the Watchmen has a big panel at the San Diego Comic Con that was harder than hell to get into.  Seriously, the room it was in seats like 7,000 people, but the line to get into the thing was like a mile long.  At this panel, the above footage was played for those lucky enough to make it into the room.

 

So technically, the footage is a little old, but in all honesty about 99.999% of the geeks (including myself) that are dying to see any footage from the film haven't had a chance to see it yet.

 

So here you go.  It's footage that was originally released 5 months ago, but it's new to us.  Let us all bask in its glory.